Some tips: As I have a paragraph based system something you could do that not only would add some beef to the history is if you tell us more of his family life when they were still alive. As it stands, as a reader I have no attachment to this family which means I can't feel bad for Victor. As an anime fan, you know how frequently characters have flashbacks of their fondest memories? Pretend that's happening and write what you imagine. The same effect can be achieved by telling us more about how he and Sorin met, which would be extra convenient since you can simply copy that into the other history as well and fix it so it appears to be told from the other perspective.
The raw content: I'm ok with this. Mentioning of the eggs, I hadn't considered that part of the life cycle, it completely spaced my mind and I don't know how I feel about it yet...