C
Calypso Major
Guest
I had weird BB Code issues, please let me know if there's anything wonky (and, also, if there's anything I need to fix- because that's a thing too :p).
Your race sheet still uses the terms "human realm" and "sylph realm" quite a bit -- which, as I said before, is confusing -- even more so now that the 'realm' field is just listed as "earth", and doesn't even mention any other place that they're hidden. Yes, I said that it would be easier to just say that their realm is earth, but, editing out everything about the forest (I think it was a forest?) that they live in completely means that you've removed some essential info, which should be added back in somewhere else.
So uh, yeah -- include some mention of where/how the sylphs are hidden, and be sure to edit the bits that say things like "sylphs leave their children in the human realm" and "sylphs who accept their heritage return to the sylph realm", etc.
Yes, sorry. I'll fix that. I was trying to format that in my word doc, but I wasn't so sure it would carry over into the post. I shall fix to clarify things!
What I was going for was that they didn't retain any memories of the feelings that Synthos have, but I see what your saying. I think I'm going to fix it so they have bits and pieces of being one. I'll fix it!
Yes! That's what I was planning!
Yes, that's what I was going for. I'm not totally sure where the last part came from. I've been a little stressed from work recently. Which I can totally fix.
Ok good. I was worried that I didn't do a very good job. Heh.
Oh I was wondering, do you want me to just edit it and quote to you or post a whole new one?
Looks good to me! I'll add you to the accepted list. ^^Name singular: Sylph
Name plural: Sylphs
Short description: Ethereal folk of elemental air. They can become powerful elemental sorcerers with command over their particular elemental dominion and tend to be beautiful and lithe who have a knack for eavesdropping.
Lifespan: Sylphs live about the same length of time as humans do, and have a definite childhood and adulthood. Unlike most races, however, Sylphs do not ever suffer from the ravages of age. They do not have a middle age or a dotage. Once they reach adulthood at the age of twenty, they live, more or less unchanged, until they reach the age of ninety or so. A Sylph in their eighties looks identical to a Sylph in their twenties. As a result, many Sylphs begin their adventuring careers quite a bit later than a human would, since they maintain their vigor much longer.
When a Sylph reaches the end of their lifespan, there is no warning. One moment the Sylph will be talking and acting normally, and the next instant, there is a powerful gust of wind and their empty clothes fall to the floor. Death due to age for Sylphs is sudden and comes in an instant. As a result, Sylphs of great age tend to treasure every day as if it might be their last, because it is literally true. Sylphs that die of accidents or violence leave physical bodies behind; only old age causes their forms to abruptly disperse.
Cultural description: sylphs are afraid of commitments so it is inevitable for them to leave their newly born child so it can be adopted by humans. Once the child was adopted, the sylph parents will flee, only to return when the time is right.
The child will be raised according to human customs but as sylphs grow up, they will dislike the attention they receive growing up in human society. It's common for them to leave home soon after coming of age and once they do, this will where the adult sylphs intervene. Once the young slyph truly decides to leave their human home and never come back, its true parents (slyphs) will take him/her back to the slyphs and be raised and taught about their heritage and true nature.
The sylphs who decided to deny ther true heritage will turn into humans. They will lose ther powers, as well s the breeze following them around.
The markings on their skin will starts to show and their abilities and powers start to develop when they do accept their heritage. Their true nature will surface and soon enough, they'll become the slyph they truly are. They are curious, shy, and full of mischief.
There are no parent-child relationship among sylphs. They treat each other as friends or as enemies, whichever they see fit.
Sylphs have little regard for laws and traditions, for such strictures often prohibit the very things sylphs love—subterfuge and secrecy. This doesn't mean sylphs are opposed to law, merely that they use the most expedient means available to accomplish their goals, legal or not. Most sylphs are thus neutrally aligned. Sylphs are naturally drawn to mystery cults, and to deities who focus on secrets, travel, or knowledge.
Physical Description: Sylphs tend to be pale and thin to the point of appearing delicate, but their skinny bodies are often more resilient than they look. Many sylphs can easily pass for humans with some effort, though the complex markings that swirl across their skin and their bright eyes and hair reveal their elemental ancestry. The swirls only shows up once the slyph embraced his/her true nature. Thus, it is possible for a slyph to assume itself as a human and never know what he/she truly is.
Sylphs also bear more subtle signs of their heritage, such as a slight breeze following them wherever they go. These signs become more pronounced as a sylph experiences intense passion or anger, spontaneous gusts of wind tousling the sylph's hair or hot blusters knocking small items off of shelves. But of course, the breeze will soon die down once the slyph didn't accept its true nature and will be turned into a regular human.
Powers/Abilities:
Air Sense: Sylphs do not see any better or worse than any other races, but they have one remarkable sense. A Sylph can feel the presence of objects and creatures by the air they displace. This is a variant of tremorsense, except it requires air and not ground. Thus, Air Sense does not work underwater or any other places where there is no air. Otherwise, it serves as tremorsense except it does not require the target to be touching a surface, merely be within air.
Keen Hearing: Due to their affinity with air, sylphs are great on sound-based perception checks.
Air Affinity: sylphs can Manipulate air however they want.
Realm: Earth. Sylphs lives in remote forests that's rich in flora and fauna.
It is not easy for mere humans to find it because it is protected by an enchantment. If a human tries to enter the forest, a huge gush of wind will attack or rather blow them away.
Other: Sylphs enjoy prying into the affairs of most other races, but have little taste for actually associating with most of them. Sylphs can relate on some level with other races, who share their tendency toward aloofness, but often spoil any possible relationship by violating their sense of privacy. Its common for them to be distrusted intensely, considering them flighty and unreliable.
Uh... in your race sheet, you said that sylphs have the same lifespans as humans. And while I realize that sylphs don't exactly age after reaching adulthood, and so it would be plausible for a sylph to have an actual age of, say, 70 or 80-something, while still having an apparent age of 18, having an actual age of 118 still definitely feels like it's pushing it for a plausible human age. According to Wikipedia, there have only ever been two people in all of recorded history who have lived to be older than 118. And there are zero people currently alive today who are older than 118 (with the oldest living person currently being 116).Age (actual):
118
You may want to edit all those instances of "fae" to "sylph", in order to avoid confusion.Meela is a very beautiful young fae
I thought you said that young sylphs don't have any distinguishing features to set them apart from normal humans... While Meela's adoptive parents may have been cool with it, I feel like questions would start to come up if it was normal for young sylphs to have such non-human features.She might look weird because of her sparkling pink eyes and silver hair but her adoptive parents didn't mind. In fact, they thought theses features made Meela special. One of a kind.
that better?I think the part about the males having physical bodies and the females being ethereal should be included in the 'physical description' bit. Seems like an important thing to have there.
Also, you did say that the thing about 'hunting' the yuki is only superstition -- but it's still phrased like, "the humans hunt them, and that's why they stay in pairs, because the females are weaker, etc etc", which just doesn't make a lot of sense. If no one's actually going out of their way to kill these things, then saying something about the yuki living in pairs for protection from this non-existent threat just doesn't make a lot of sense.
Fast-forward a few more years, where Vivi already had 6 followers
At first, Viviana wasn't that worried...until one of her followers was destroyed and consumed by the other Devee.
one of them started begging be consumed by Vivi herself,
If Vivi consumed all of her followers except for the one that was consumed by the other Devee -- which has to be the case, as that's the only way the numbers here would add up correctly -- then I think that should really be made more clear, since it's easy to overlook. The way you phrased it made it unclear as to whether or not Vivi even consumed the one follower who begged for it, much less all of them, which is why I was kind of thrown for a loop when suddenly Vivi had 6 items.Now, with ownership of 6 items and a broken heart,
Looks good to me! I'll add you to the accepted list. ^^that better?
It was best for her to be the only one who survives, rather than them all suffering the same fate. After much debating, it was finally decided that the Devee would consume all of her followers.
After reading it over once more, I also got confused xD. But, I think I fixed it now??After consuming the trio as well, Viviana understood the purpose of this world...
I realized you were quoting a song, but I didn't know the band's name until I looked it up, so it was completely unintentional. (^_^ ')Although I will say that I always think of that fucking song every time I read the word "Devo", which is really kind of hilarious, given what the Devos are supposed to be. I just wanted you to know that. XD
Oh. I assumed you understood why I was making that reference when you saw the post. Not sure what you thought I was doing, if you didn't see the connection. XDI realized you were quoting a song, but I didn't know the band's name until I looked it up, so it was completely unintentional. (^_^ ')
Hmm. I'm not sure if this was in the CS originally and I just missed it or what -- but, you said that, after defeating the cannibal Devee, Vivi consumed all of her newly-gained followers, as well. Why? She consumed the original 6 because they all agreed it would be for the best (and it was certainly not something that Vivi took pleasure in doing). What point was there in consuming the new followers? There are just a lot of questions in why this played out that way...After reading it over once more, I also got confused xD. But, I think I fixed it now??
Just as a general FYI, especially to the people who were tagged in Kaga's post: Iwaku's bookmarks feature is quite useful for this situation. Just slap a bookmark on any post you want to keep track of, such as a race you've submitted or a character sheet, and then you can easily find it again by going to the 'BOOKMARKS' heading at the top of the page.As the OOC grows longer, I want everyone to know that, when posting a CS or race sheet, it is your responsibility to keep track of where that post is — and, as mentioned above, your responsibility to notify us GMs when edits are made (or, like I said, making a whole new post is even better, actually). But if you do edit instead of making a new post, I would also appreciate being linked to the post that you edited, so that I don't have to dig through the OOC to find it (or follow a trail of quote links…).
:I I knew I was forgetting people! The long tag list up near the top was supposed to include everyone else who was in the thread, but didn't need to be tagged for any of the below reasons...Just as a general FYI, especially to the people who were tagged in Kaga's post: Iwaku's bookmarks feature is quite useful for this situation. Just slap a bookmark on any post you want to keep track of, such as a race you've submitted or a character sheet, and then you can easily find it again by going to the 'BOOKMARKS' heading at the top of the page.
Lol don't worry, I haven't posted in here in a bit. Still working on my only race... the lore is coming together, but I want to be sure I have a reason for a Nül to go to a school. ^_^:I I knew I was forgetting people! The long tag list up near the top was supposed to include everyone else who was in the thread, but didn't need to be tagged for any of the below reasons...
Alright, good luck with your future RP's! ^^@Kagayours Sorry, too big, backing out. I wish all of you good luck on your adventure.
If it means anything, your race sheet doesn't have to be nearly as detailed as your first draft was. o_o Simple race sheets work just fine if all the info makes sense and nothing important is missing. o_oI'm going to have to respectfully back out for now. Production just shoved me into a new job for our show. I like detailed role plays and all, but if the requirements just to get into this game are any indicator for how gameplay might go, I'm not going to have time for it. I don't want to be stressed out over a game I'm supposed to be playing to destress between jobs.
When we're done filming I may come back and try again. Thank you, and sorry to have taken up your time!
I knew I was forgoing something!Why? She consumed the original 6 because they all agreed it would be for the best (and it was certainly not something that Vivi took pleasure in doing). What point was there in consuming the new followers? There are just a lot of questions in why this played out that way...