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@ERode
As a Rank Up then, consider it a "half rank".
Well, high up enough that it can radiate him from anywhere in the city but not so high it's sight is visible past the horizon. I'd say maybe 1.5 miles up?

@Jakers
Nope, you're good to go!

@Random
Ultimately the most glaring issue is the profuse amount of high ranks your Servant has across the entirety of their kit. A or B in all Parameters, A or B in all Skills except Madness, and two EX-Rank (the "really high" kind of EX) Noble Phantasms plus a third Noble Phantasm (and she's not even a Rider). Don't you think that's a bit much?
 
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I'll provide my unasked for two cents on this. Even thoughI'm pretty sure that you lot hate my guts now.

Her Monstrous Strength, though it's A, sucks compared to Kintoki's; of course, that depends on how much this "burden" is on the Master. Hell, C rank Monstrous Strength could be considered better because it has no stated drawbacks to child Medusa. God Slayer could be EX+++ and it wouldn't change anything; it's going to be useless vs any of these Servants. And I doubt any potential Masters would have an ability to summon demonic/divine entities, since most Fate RPs that don't hide character sheets have the habit to have characters be optimized. Disciple of the Taoist I'm a bit iffy on since it's not easily seen how strong this ability is.

I have no damn idea what the Mana stat even does for Servants. I assume it's how much MP they have but costs of NPs obfuscate how much of a factor that plays for Servants and confusing af so let's ignore that stat. And I doubt Luck will have a strong factor in this, correct me if I'm wrong, so ignore that one too. So that leaves STR, END, and AGI. A, B+, and B. That leaves her outclassed by Lancelot, Cu Chulainn, Lu Bu, and Heracles in terms of stats. Not too strange for a Berserker.

In my opinion, rankings for NPs are NOT a good indicator of how strong it is, since they can be garbage even with an EX rank (see Chaos Labyrinthos, Bale of Inexhaustibility, Samadhi Through Transforming Flames, Three Thousand Worlds, etc). The cloud NP is pretty damn OP though, in my opinion. Rider's chariot could go more or less 400 km/hour, and Saber's tricked-up motorcycle could also go about that speed. Then we have this thing that can go HYPERSONIC speeds. Sure Servants have been calculated to be above hypersonic (and only in bursts, not in sustained travel), but for vehicles I'm pretty sure there has been no such case. AND this thing allows the Servant to never be knocked off? Wtf why is this thing only D?

On the other hand, we have Ruyi Jingu Bang, which while ranked EX, is sort of a shit NP in my opinion.
toss up depending on how far this size can be altered. If it can be like 100 miles in length and be swung down as an EX rank attack that's pretty busted.
Only allows EX STR? Cu (Berserker) has Curruid that gives him EX STR AND a rank up to END. And that's ranked only A.

Qítiaan Dàshèng I can see being EX depending on how hard it is to remove the layers and how annoying the conditions for removal are.

TL; DR- Think she's fine as she is, depending on the specifics of Qítiaan Dàshèng, Ruyi Jingu Bang, and Disciple of the Taoist. Cloud is OP though.
 
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Pls don't. We have enough shittalking servers in our lives.
 
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Zpt9BF9.png

Name: Tristan Kurosawa
Gender: Male
Alignment: Chaotic Good
Personality:
[Proactive] [Honorable] [Ambitious] | [Cynical] [Short-Tempered] [Dogmatic]
Brief History: Son of an American man and Japanese woman, Tristan's life has always been something of a culture shock. While his family led a modest life, his father running a gym Tristan spent all his free time in. Yet, he always questioned which part of his heritage would define him the most. That was was answered for him with the death of his father, the circumstances most unnatural, leading him to a series of revelations he didn't expect.

While his father was quite ordinary, his mother came from a line of modest yet skilled Magi. Actions taken by his mother in the past, before running away with his father, left her with several enemies. But, moving to another country and adopting a new name can make one's trail hard to follow. But, eventually they were found and his father paid the price.

Tristan spent the following years honing his magecraft before his mother passed away, unexpectedly falling ill before dying shortly after. After her death, he was still left with several questions but he knew his answers could be found in Japan where it all started. Packing his things and using the money his parents had saved for him, he was for his destination:

Sasebo, Japan.
Origin: Anger
Elemental Affinity: Fire
Magic Circuit Quantity:
High
Magic Circuit Quality: B
Magecraft:
Reinforcement:

Tristan's Magecraft allows him to reinforce his arms and legs, granting him increased physical capabilities.

Reinforcing his legs grants him increased agility, while reinforcing his arms allows him to strengthen them to the point they could very well be called steel.

While this is normally dangerous on its own, it's increased due to Tristan's upbringing, having been exposed to and 'dabbled' in several fighting styles in his father's gym. Essentially becoming a 'jack of all trades, master of none'.

Unlike his mother, he doesn't have an extensive wealth of Magecraft to draw from. From the moment he learned of his true heritage, his mother trained him to use Reinforcement as it benefited his physically active nature. Given time and dedication, he could naturally learn more expansive Magecraft, he's currently 'satisfied' with his current ability.

Equipment:
A pair of MMA Gloves he tends to use in conjecture with his Reinforcement.[/hr][/hr]
 
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I suspected that might look to be an issue. I do appreciate Sun has a shitton of high-ranking stuff on paper, but if you pull it apart, it's deliberately not as good as it looks.

The Cloud is literally just for travel. It can't really do anything else.
The staff is actually Rank B and only allows a Rank EX attack when invoked. I don't mean to imply that the NP itself is Rank EX; if it comes down to a clash of NPs, then Ruyi Bang is Rank B. If it softens confusion, I'll just remove the "(EX)" appendation. The only NP that's particularly useable is immortality.

I also picked out God Slayer because it doesn't do pretty much anything as it stands. Disciple of the Taoist can't really be abused beyond the shapeshifting thing, it was just a way for me to sort out the miscellaneous stuff from Sun's practices. She wouldn't be able to use it under Mad Enhancement either, and Monstrous Strength is only Rank A because her STR is. Not to mention it's almost impossible to stack it with Mad Enhancement without a really good Master.

Essentially, Sun Wukong is meant to be a Servant who would be overpowered if she weren't a Servant. If she didn't have a Master to worry about then she could barrel her way through anything that sheer brute force would allow, all though in a Grail War that isn't much.

That said, if you're not convinced, I'll nerf a couple of things if need be.
 
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I suspected that might look to be an issue. I do appreciate Sun has a shitton of high-ranking stuff on paper, but if you pull it apart, it's deliberately not as good as it looks.

The Cloud is literally just for travel. It can't really do anything else.
The staff is actually Rank B and only allows a Rank EX attack when invoked. I don't mean to imply that the NP itself is Rank EX; if it comes down to a clash of NPs, then Ruyi Bang is Rank B. If it softens confusion, I'll just remove the "(EX)" appendation. The only NP that's particularly useable is immortality.

I also picked out God Slayer because it doesn't do pretty much anything as it stands. Disciple of the Taoist can't really be abused beyond the shapeshifting thing, it was just a way for me to sort out the miscellaneous stuff from Sun's practices. She wouldn't be able to use it under Mad Enhancement either, and Monstrous Strength is only Rank A because her STR is. Not to mention it's almost impossible to stack it with Mad Enhancement without a really good Master.

Essentially, Sun Wukong is meant to be a Servant who would be overpowered if she weren't a Servant. If she didn't have a Master to worry about then she could barrel her way through anything that sheer brute force would allow, all though in a Grail War that isn't much.

That said, if you're not convinced, I'll nerf a couple of things if need be.

All in all, I think Wukong could stand to have a lowered MGC parameter ranking, for one. At least from my limited knowledge of Wukong's mythos (shame on me), he likes to hit things with his... er... her staff, and from what I can tell coupled with her class being that of a Berserker, I think it would stand to reason that her focus lies more in the realm of using her mythic strength rather than any spellcasting notoriety. In a similar vein, her Disciple of the Taoist -while flavorfully 'magical'- might want to remove said magic casting.

To add to that particular skill, I'll say that I don't actually have much of a problem with her God Slayer (though I question why it's B+ and not just B?) or Monstrous Strength skills. The Disciple skill however confuses me; what does it actually do?

I don't have a problem with the cloud except for its speed (maybe tune it down to supersonic). I do agree that the EX rank in Ruyi Jingu Bang should be removed; as a weapon in her arsenal, it's fine that the staff is rank B, but its size shouldn't really affect its rank, flavorfully IMO.

With her Immortality layers, what exactly is required to remove each layer? If it's too specific, I may have to simply treat it like Hercules' NP.

Ultimately balancing here is just meant to ensure nothing especially ridiculous comes into play. When push comes to shove in the rp, most of these stats and the like won't be used strictly. It's all for flavor and uniqueness.

Also

swallow everything that isn't.

Giggity. :3c

@Jakers
Probably not. I think I'd like to keep discussion her in OOC.

@Jageroux
Magic Circuit quantity should actually be more ambiguously defined. Rather than "30", it should be "Low", "Average", "High", etc...
Otherwise looks fine.
 
@Asuras Alright, went ahead and edited it.
 
@Asuras: If we take examples of Berserkers, some of their skills and NPs are disabled or crippled due to Mad Enhancement. Wouldn't be too far of a stretch for Wukong to have that skill but not be able to use it due to her class.

Cloud speed is still strong af even if it's nerfed to supersonic. That's a lower limit of 1482 km/h and an upper limit of 6174 km/h. Bellerophon's max speed is 400-500 km/h, along with other vehicles (like Saber's cycle and Rider's chariot) being around that speed. @Random If it can only literally be used for travel, you should make that clear in the description. And raise its ranking if it keeps its supersonic speed. By the way, it's weird to me that Wukong doesn't have any rank in Divinity whatsoever but eh.
 
clear_thoughts_by_yuumei-d4far0x.png


Name: Sylvia Minski


Gender: Female


Alignment: Chaotic Good (Neutral Good? I'm bad at alignments)


Personality:
Kind, Generous, Dedicated


Obsessive, Single-Minded, Overly-Idealistic


Brief History:

Sylvia is a fourth generation mage of the Minski family, a family that long ago swore off offensive magecraft to dedicate themselves to the study of healing and regeneration. From an early age she was taught Healing Magecraft by her mother, an exceptional healer who sought to pour as much of her knowledge as possible into her daughters. Unlike many mage families, the Minskis do not disown excess children in favor of the heir, but rather train them to go out into the world while the heir remains behind to continue the family name. As the youngest of five daughters, this was the path that was placed before Sylvia. Once her tutelage had been completed, Sylvia set out into the world, traveling extensively and often throwing herself into dangerous situations for the sake of aiding others. She traveled from battlefield to battlefield, from village to village, seemingly undiminished by the carnage that surrounded her. She was driven by an almost inhuman sense of zeal and dedication, but was faced again and again by those she couldn't help despite her greatest efforts. Every failure only served to further incense her fervency, to the point where many saw her as a madwoman. Still, she persevered, pushing the limits of her own capabilities again and again, seeking to surmount the impossible.

Sylvia's presence in Japan was a bit of a coincidence. She had not intended to remain in the country long, only stopping to restock her equipment before heading back out to some far-flung corner of the globe. Fate, however, apparently had other plans.


Origin: Renunciation


Elemental Affinity: Water


Magic Circuit Quantity: Average


Magic Circuit Quality: B


Magecraft:


Healing Magecraft:
As the focus of Sylvia's training as a magus, she is extremely skilled in practices of healing and regeneration. The primary method of execution involves coursing magical energy through damaged tissue, rapidly increasing the natural rate of cell regeneration. Because of Sylvia's extensive training, she is capable of rapidly executing this magecraft and healing minor wounds in a matter of seconds, even at a distance. Larger, more serious injuries require a much closer proximity, and a great deal more time and focus to repair. Under ideal circumstances, Sylvia can manage some rather complicated reconstruction, though her tendency toward dangerous situations rarely allows her such luck.



Potion Creation:
Sylvia has the knowledge and ability to create numerous potions, which are typically used to augment her healing. The potions can be drunk, but are much more effective if injected. They are sorted according to color:

Blue: A powerful anesthetic that dulls the nerves, inducing a temporary state of numbness. Surprisingly, the potion typically does not cause drowsiness unless administered in large doses. Smaller doses render the patient free of pain but also allow them to retain consciousness.


Green: A sedative that calms the mind and prevents panic. This solution is typically used to ease the psychological trauma that often accompanies extreme injuries.


Purple:
A versatile steroid that greatly boosts the immune system. Once administered, this potion aids the body in fighting off infections and increases the speed at which damaged tissue regenerates.


Yellow:
A stimulant that causes increased energy and focus. While there are some medical applications for such a drug, Sylvia typically uses it on herself when extreme alertness and focus are required. Use of this stimulant boosts the speed at which Sylvia can execute magecraft, but ultimately is rather taxing for her body.


White: A purifying physic that serves as an effective antidote for most known toxins.



Equipment:

Medical Bag: An enormous bag containing potions and ingredients, as well as a plethora of standard medical equipment.​
 
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All in all, I think Wukong could stand to have a lowered MGC parameter ranking, for one.
Lowered it to Rank D.
To add to that particular skill, I'll say that I don't actually have much of a problem with her God Slayer (though I question why it's B+ and not just B?) or Monstrous Strength skills.
The "+" indicates the broadened range (demonic entities as well as divine ones).
The Disciple skill however confuses me; what does it actually do?
Miscellaneous stuff. Laser eyes (not Karna-tier though, STR is better, it's just a simple ranged attack), shapeshifting (72 total forms, but all of them have monkey tails), and contributes to one layer of Qítiaan Dàshèng. It's sealed while Mad Enhancement is active.
I don't have a problem with the cloud except for its speed (maybe tune it down to supersonic). I do agree that the EX rank in Ruyi Jingu Bang should be removed; as a weapon in her arsenal, it's fine that the staff is rank B, but its size shouldn't really affect its rank, flavorfully IMO.
Done and done.
With her Immortality layers, what exactly is required to remove each layer? If it's too specific, I may have to simply treat it like Hercules' NP.
Well, it should be unremoveable if we want to be faithful to the original lore, but that's not how Heroic Spirits work, so here's a list.
[spoili]
  • It is in theory possible to burn her severely and distil the Pills from her body through sweat, but she needs to essentially be boiled
  • Exploiting weaknesses to smoke and poison, she can be made to regurgitate the Peaches
  • The alcohol can be neutralised with anti-poison magecraft or something similar, though this layer can be restored if she gets very drunk
  • Her life can't be taken without her killer knowing her True Name (by far the easiest since she has no reservations about yelling it)
  • Disciple of the Taoist must be sealed
So basically, she has to be sick, sober, sweating a ton, and berserk, and then someone with her True Name can kill her.[/spoili]
 
there still room for a player? would try to play a master
 
CS:

latest


Name: Harry Hawksguard
Gender: Male
Alignment: Lawful Good
Personality: Disciplined, resourceful, strategic; humorless, intimidating, sarcastic
Brief History: Harry was the latest in a line of Mage Association Enforcers based out of London. His service record included hunts against Dead Apostles, Sealing Designates, and other threats to magekind and the secrecy of the magical world. He was a no-nonsense man who relied on ingenuity, small-scale tactics, and use of terrain to make up for his relative lack of magical ability. He had a knack for turning innocuous items into dangerous tools and weapons.
Origin: Exchange
Elemental Affinity: Wind
Magic Circuit Quantity: Low
Magic Circuit Quality: D
Magecraft: Runes - Hawksguard used runes to cast spells, thus circumventing much of his lack of magical ability through the versatility of runic sentences. He tattooed a series of runes on his arms and legs to that he could quickly activate the pre-arranged spells built into them. Specifically, his right arm turned into metal, his left arm gained enhanced strength, and both legs gained enhanced speed and jumping power when the runes were activated.
Equipment: M1911A, folding knife, Smartphone with various applications, duct tape


the theme for this character being that he's the logical evolution of shirou -- a handyman type, only his knack for mechanics manifests as doing stuff w/ his terrain/environment like MacGyver
 
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Is here simply to read and comment and junk, now that the spots are all taken.
T'was too late.
I mustn't get greedy.
I'll happily overham Grail-Kun at the end, it's required besides. *nudge* *nudge* Not Really. Carnival stuff.






You've got a Spectator!
For now atleast.​
 
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@DrowsyPangolin
Used on humans, her potions will have noticeably staggering effects. However, if used on a Servant, their effects will be noticeably diminished, as the magnitude of their effects are weighed less in a Servants already magical body. I will permit her to have a much more limited number of "super potions" of each kind that might be used for servants to achieve greater effect.

Accepted though!

@Razilin
Maintain that great writing of your CS and I'm all for you joining (admittedly your out-of-CS posting had me worried your writing skills were not up to snuff for what I expected in the roleplay). When it comes to his history, it would suffice to say he appears to be the most exceptional mage of those accepted thus far. I'm willing to give him a pass, under the pretense that I hope you'll exercise good roleplaying judgement in using him.
 
Well, it should be unremoveable if we want to be faithful to the original lore, but that's not how Heroic Spirits work, so here's a list.
[spoili]
  • It is in theory possible to burn her severely and distil the Pills from her body through sweat, but she needs to essentially be boiled
  • Exploiting weaknesses to smoke and poison, she can be made to regurgitate the Peaches
  • The alcohol can be neutralised with anti-poison magecraft or something similar, though this layer can be restored if she gets very drunk
  • Her life can't be taken without her killer knowing her True Name (by far the easiest since she has no reservations about yelling it)
  • Disciple of the Taoist must be sealed
So basically, she has to be sick, sober, sweating a ton, and berserk, and then someone with her True Name can kill her.[/spoili]

Those are just a bit too specific, so I'll modify them to be thematically similar but more likely to be met.

  • I'll give a pass on the boiling one. Magic in sufficient amounts can characterize 'heat' in a sense, I suppose.
  • Change 'smoke and poison' to 'debilitation' as in, anything that creates a sustained 'debuff' of sorts on her.
  • We'll call the drunkenness one, "Attention". If she's caught significantly off-guard, it will pierce the layer.
  • True Name one is fine.
  • Sealing part is fine.

I'll say too though that multiple layers can't be broken at once, and must be broken in order. What order should they be?
 
Hm, I take it given the first post. though five characters are shown that all the spots are filled?
 
@Razilin: Yo your elemental affinity and origin are mixed up. Unless you have some weird uncategorized element and origin. And you need to be less specific with quantity of circuits (low, average, high).

@Zero The Grimm: Where do you see 5? I'm seeing 6.
 
Ah, last one was hard to spot. See it now. Oh well.
 
Edits made. I actually didn't catch that I entered element and origin as a swap. Nice catch.
 
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