Something deep inside Carol was not sure what to think of Tywin's declaration that people were incapable of change. She wanted to say it
was possible, for
she changed, did she not? Her life before was one of meek obscurity, where Carol had been forced to live by someone else's rules. Now, really, she could consider herself free, and that freedom had offered Carol the opportunity to change who she was-- change into the kind of woman she
needed to be. It had to happen eventually, at least in hostile situations, or else survival would not be possible.
But, was that what Tywin was really saying?
Life with Ed had never been easy, Carol would be the first tell anyone. Her
own home had been an hostile situation. If she thought about it, being meek and doing everything she was told had been something she had to adopt to rather than who she naturally was. She had spent so long with Ed that she could scarcely recall the kind of woman she had been before he had come into her life. She had been happier, that was for sure, and would never have once thought she would end up as trapped as she had been. Would that Carol have had the strength to do what has to be done? Carol had told Rick once that if Ed had not died, she wouldn't be where she was today.
Yeah, you would, he had said.
It had been something for her to think on for a time, but it had not exactly resonated with her. Maybe, really, the act of changing herself had been more an act of finding the strength she always had within her. Living with Ed had been a sort of survival, an experience she had taken with her into the apocalypse, embracing it to live day after day. Carol had always been a survivor, and in that sense, Tywin was right. Carol hadn't changed, not exactly, and it was hard for her to deny the fact that some would always be hopeless. Not everyone was cut out for survival.
These thoughts were unsettling, forcing Carol to take a moment to gather herself while Tywin spoke. She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath, only to open them to find herself staring at a wise man. A wise man, but a cruel man as well. She had to wonder who would think of her as cruel as well.
What never fades is the gallows.
The truth was harsh and bare. Carol couldn't deny it. Everything Tywin was saying revolved around the central idea that life was filled with constants. The weak wallowed in their weakness, doomed until the day their hopeful notions died, and them along with it. You could stare at the flowers, but as pretty as they were, they only obscured the ugliness of the world around them for so long. She would find it depressing if Carol had not faced similar truths all her life.
Needless to say, Carol found herself a bit speechless. After hearing that audio recording, she was already feeling vulnerable and on the verge of becoming upset. After snapping at Ellis, the last thing she needed was to start with Tywin as well. She needed to appear assured of herself and her choices, but she already knew Tywin was right. The innocent ones were a lost cause. It would take Carol some time to determine if Ellis was one of those lost causes. A part of her desperately hoped he was not.
"You're right," she said, her voice sounding dry and tired. She couldn't manage to put any sort of life into these grim words.
"If they won't listen, then they will have to face the consequences alone. I hope, if the time comes... you understand that I will always be listening."
Carol turned slightly, as if to go, but stopped. She hesitated, looking down at her feet.
"..." She felt like she should say more, but it was just about time for them to get going anyway. Looking up, she met Tywin's gaze one last time before she went on her way, joining the group as they left the Hestia Chambers.
The radio buzzed as she walked, but Carol wasn't feeling up to talking to this Jack individual, so she let Gwen talk into it for some time. She was deep in thought, thinking about the future, wondering if getting out of this underwater city was truly a possibility. She knew she had to, no matter what. A family was waiting on her, and this place would have to kill her before denying her access to them. She repeated this in her head a few times, mulling over what it meant, not realizing as Ellis sidled up next to her. It wasn't until he spoke that Carol perked up, lifting her head and turning it to the boy.
"Ellis..." Carol wasn't sure how Ellis would be feeling about her, so she found herself looking off to the side in an effort to avoid his gaze.
"I was just talking to that man... Tywin. Seeing where his head is at. I believe you can rely on him, Ellis, at the very least."
@Verite @DBZ7 @Josh M @Krieg @Jeremi
