ALSO!!
Remember when I said something about finally downloading Steam so that I could play Undertale? (
@Gen. Magic Senpai probably remembers).
Anyway, I really only
just wanted Undertale, so, I've pretty much been ignoring just about every other Steam-related thing on my computer (and I'm actually kind of annoyed by the fact that it automatically opens up every time I turn on my computer, and I can't find a way to make it
not do that...), because I just don't
care about all this other gaming stuff, I don't want to spend more money, and I could just do without all the clutter.
Now, Undertale, if I may ramble about it... is a really good game. And, I think what makes it so good is the way that you don't
have to kill any of your enemies. And, when you
do kill your enemies, there's just so much more of an emotional weight to it,
especially where it concerns main characters and really anything more than a random encounter. It's... hard to explain how exactly they pull it off so well, but, they just
do. And, when you kill a character, they
die, and they don't come back. And you keep being reminded of their death as you go on, because there are all these little things in the game that are different because of it -- their house is still there, but it's empty, and there are other characters that knew them who, even if they don't know that they're dead, will probably at least notice the fact that said character suddenly "disappeared" or whatever, and maybe at one point you'll just be chatting it up with some NPC who's talking about her son and then you'll realize that the person she's describing is
an underling that you killed -- because these people have
lives and then you go and
destroy them and... yeah. And I think it really helps that you don't
have to kill any of these characters. It's
possible to get through the game without killing
anyone, but, you know, sometimes it's really difficult to work things out non-violently, especially if you're
being attacked, and especially if you're being fucked over by earlier decisions that you made because
every little thing comes back to bite you in this game, I swear, and sometimes you might be fighting a character who's sort of impossible to reason with because of how angry they are at you for things that you did earlier, so... yeah. But because you know you
could've progressed without killing anyone, it just makes it feel so much more...
real when you're reminded of a character that you killed, knowing that it didn't
have to be this way. (Conversely, sometimes it just feels weird to see a character that you didn't kill become a friend of yours or something, and it's just so weird to think that you
could've killed them. Even if you wouldn't
want to, it's just... yeah.)
And, I haven't been a perfect pacifist in my playthrough so far. The remorse that comes with killing creatures in this game is certainly a deterrent, but, there are plenty of aggressive underlings that I didn't feel moved enough to spare, and, there are even a few
major characters that I felt
really bad about killing, but, it just felt like I didn't have a choice at the time... >.<
So... remember what I said about Steam starting up automatically every time I turn on my computer? Well, this morning I saw Steam telling me that I had "two new items" or something, which... confused me, because I had no idea what it could possibly be referring to, having only used Steam to purchase Undertale and absolutely nothing else.
So I looked at what it was referring to... and I saw this:
And I was just... no, no,
noooooo....
These... these are practically
trophies.
Trophies for the characters THAT I FEEL AWFUL ABOUT KILLING. ;_;
No no no no I did not ask for this! I did not in any way ask for this!!!
And I even have the option of
selling these for
real money! I mean, not very much, but, still! Real money! And that just feels like an even more callous thing to do... DX I don't even have the heart to use that pie that Toriel baked for me (which is supposed to be an HP-restoring item) because I feel so completely awful about what I did and now that pie slice is all I have left of her and Steam decides to do
this to me.
KAY.
THANKS.
THANKS FOR RUBBING SALT ON THAT WOUND, STEAM.
Wow, this was a long rant...