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- 1-3 posts per week
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- Male
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- Primarily Prefer Female
- Genres
- Fantasy, Historical, Magical, Romance (usually within other genres), Dystopia,.
Carina was exhausted. And cold. Towards the end of the day, it felt as though she no longer had control over her own powers, her emotions playing too great a role in keeping her ice in check. It had spread from the one side of the bed and the bedside table to crawl up the wall the two pieces of furniture were pushed up against. In some places it looked thin, weak, while in others - where her emotions had become too unbearable to digest - it was thick, one barely able to see the stone underneath.
She, meanwhile, had moved to lay on her side on the floor. An arm was tucked up to rest under her head and the other lay over the bump of her stomach. It was cruel symbol, Carina supposed, that represented all she had left her and how empty she now was.
An untouched tray of food, of what was her dinner, sat at the foot of the bed on the other side nearest the door. Something she was not interested in in the slightest. She had meant what she said to Natalia, the mere thought of eating only added to the persistent nausea currently residing in her stomach. That had been the only thing she had received during the day, with no one coming in to move her items from her shared bedroom with Sven into her new, separate one and no one to check on her. No nanny, no midwife. No Natalia. Not that Carina would ever admit to wanting the adviser to return.
Perhaps she had spoken to Sven and had convinced herself she was a fool for believing Carina, even if what she had heard was the truth. Carina wouldn't blame the other woman, everything was against her, after all.
Carina found herself incapable of rest, hence her exhaustion. Every so often, she heard the cries of a baby and it pained her in ways she had never expected to feel before. Her eyes would snap open and head turn slightly towards the bed, ears straining for another high-pitched sound of displeasure, only for a door to close and the noise to disappear. On the third time of crying, she had dragged herself to her feet to move to the door. She had paused there, hand hovering over the handle before taking it only to find it locked. There had been a brief moment of contemplation, wondering if she ought to just use her powers to get out and see to her son. But Carina knew that couldn't happen. She knew she had to be let out without the means of magic.
So she asked, nicely at first, to be able to see her son. Obviously ignored, she continued to ask until her emotions and desperation began to overwhelm her, mixing in with the motherly instinct of getting to her child at the sound of his distress. At the peak of that dangerous, emotional cocktail, Carina had banged against the door, begging and crying and pleading just to see Lorcan. Her voice had been hoarse by the end, her arms, wrists and fisted hands red from the exertion. She had forced herself back to the other side of the bed, laying down on the floor to face the wall in defeat.
Then there were the thoughts about Sven. These were even harder to take. She couldn't figure out what she wanted more - for him to come and see her so she could try and explain herself and so she could see he was okay, or for him to stay away so she could accept what would happen to her sooner rather than later. She knew to expect disgust, if he did visit her, along with an anger she knew all to well to be justified. However, that didn't prepare her for when he did arrive.
Carina hadn't moved upon hearing the door open, figuring it to be a maid or the guard coming to take away her tray. She kept her eyes closed and body tightly curled in a foetal position with her arm over her bump, until she heard him speak.
Her eyes opened and she lifted her head slightly, her body following soon after as she put her hand underneath herself in order to sit up. Her eyes, already sore and tender from dealing with her emotions throughout the day, started to well up once more with tears that seemed to be never ending. Just as she suspected, all the love and care and affection she had experienced over the last few months was gone. Any emotion he had for her that was once positive was now dead and buried. The hatred he felt for her before their change now back in place.
"T-then why didn't I let you die, Sven?" She whispered after what felt like the longest amount of time as she swallowed passed the lump that had formed in her throat, "I could have waited... waited until I knew you had lost too much blood to be saved but I didn't, did I? And I-I slowed the bleeding, constricted y-your blood cells, stem-stemmed it as best I could."
Carina winced as her body protested to her moving to a kneeling position, unaccustomed to the change and joints stiff from a lack of movement. She faced him, hands pressing hard against her thighs as she forced herself to get a grip on her ice. She wanted to point out that it was a death sentence for her to stay too, but she was doing so willingly, ready to accept whatever he brought down on her head.
"I-I never denied not having anything planned, you know that. I... I withheld the truth about Lauren and Thorin b-because she told me she was leaving with him. I-I wanted to give her a second chance. Just like I had with you. Like you had with Natalia. She had her own reasons... for wanting you dead, Sven. A-And now me too... it seems. S-She would have done this with or without me... I realise that now."
She, meanwhile, had moved to lay on her side on the floor. An arm was tucked up to rest under her head and the other lay over the bump of her stomach. It was cruel symbol, Carina supposed, that represented all she had left her and how empty she now was.
An untouched tray of food, of what was her dinner, sat at the foot of the bed on the other side nearest the door. Something she was not interested in in the slightest. She had meant what she said to Natalia, the mere thought of eating only added to the persistent nausea currently residing in her stomach. That had been the only thing she had received during the day, with no one coming in to move her items from her shared bedroom with Sven into her new, separate one and no one to check on her. No nanny, no midwife. No Natalia. Not that Carina would ever admit to wanting the adviser to return.
Perhaps she had spoken to Sven and had convinced herself she was a fool for believing Carina, even if what she had heard was the truth. Carina wouldn't blame the other woman, everything was against her, after all.
Carina found herself incapable of rest, hence her exhaustion. Every so often, she heard the cries of a baby and it pained her in ways she had never expected to feel before. Her eyes would snap open and head turn slightly towards the bed, ears straining for another high-pitched sound of displeasure, only for a door to close and the noise to disappear. On the third time of crying, she had dragged herself to her feet to move to the door. She had paused there, hand hovering over the handle before taking it only to find it locked. There had been a brief moment of contemplation, wondering if she ought to just use her powers to get out and see to her son. But Carina knew that couldn't happen. She knew she had to be let out without the means of magic.
So she asked, nicely at first, to be able to see her son. Obviously ignored, she continued to ask until her emotions and desperation began to overwhelm her, mixing in with the motherly instinct of getting to her child at the sound of his distress. At the peak of that dangerous, emotional cocktail, Carina had banged against the door, begging and crying and pleading just to see Lorcan. Her voice had been hoarse by the end, her arms, wrists and fisted hands red from the exertion. She had forced herself back to the other side of the bed, laying down on the floor to face the wall in defeat.
Then there were the thoughts about Sven. These were even harder to take. She couldn't figure out what she wanted more - for him to come and see her so she could try and explain herself and so she could see he was okay, or for him to stay away so she could accept what would happen to her sooner rather than later. She knew to expect disgust, if he did visit her, along with an anger she knew all to well to be justified. However, that didn't prepare her for when he did arrive.
Carina hadn't moved upon hearing the door open, figuring it to be a maid or the guard coming to take away her tray. She kept her eyes closed and body tightly curled in a foetal position with her arm over her bump, until she heard him speak.
Her eyes opened and she lifted her head slightly, her body following soon after as she put her hand underneath herself in order to sit up. Her eyes, already sore and tender from dealing with her emotions throughout the day, started to well up once more with tears that seemed to be never ending. Just as she suspected, all the love and care and affection she had experienced over the last few months was gone. Any emotion he had for her that was once positive was now dead and buried. The hatred he felt for her before their change now back in place.
"T-then why didn't I let you die, Sven?" She whispered after what felt like the longest amount of time as she swallowed passed the lump that had formed in her throat, "I could have waited... waited until I knew you had lost too much blood to be saved but I didn't, did I? And I-I slowed the bleeding, constricted y-your blood cells, stem-stemmed it as best I could."
Carina winced as her body protested to her moving to a kneeling position, unaccustomed to the change and joints stiff from a lack of movement. She faced him, hands pressing hard against her thighs as she forced herself to get a grip on her ice. She wanted to point out that it was a death sentence for her to stay too, but she was doing so willingly, ready to accept whatever he brought down on her head.
"I-I never denied not having anything planned, you know that. I... I withheld the truth about Lauren and Thorin b-because she told me she was leaving with him. I-I wanted to give her a second chance. Just like I had with you. Like you had with Natalia. She had her own reasons... for wanting you dead, Sven. A-And now me too... it seems. S-She would have done this with or without me... I realise that now."