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- Primarily Prefer Female
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- Fantasy, Historical, Magical, Romance (usually within other genres), Dystopia,.
Carina watched Natalia leave, hand feeling unusually cold once the adviser had released it. After gathering herself, Carina turned her head back to the inside of the grand hall, only to notice how empty it was now. It left a hollow ache in her chest and a loneliness came to settle over her shoulders. Hastily, the Queen tore herself away from the room, exiting it as quickly as her body allowed.
Natalia's words were a constant drum in her head, and Carina knew the other woman was right. She needed to take care of herself for Lorcan's sake, but as she walked through the halls back to her room, once more feeling the eyes of every servant, maid and guard on her, the more tired she grew at the prospect of doing the simple, every day things. Sven's words soon occupied her mind, pushing aside Natalia's advice, and piercing her heart. His expression, the one of betrayal and hurt and anger, filled her thoughts and the knowledge that she would no longer have him in her life caused her breath to leave her as though she had been punched in the stomach.
She had been kept alive because of Lauren's confession, but at what cost? Dark and dangerous thoughts soon whispered and cooed to her, murmuring equally cruel and brutal comments. As she battled with them, her expression was of cool neutrality, aloof and emotionless, as she walked the halls. One glance and no one would guess at the turmoil that lingered beneath the surface.
Her feet carried her to Lorcan's nursery, word obviously having reached the nanny as she didn't protest or question the Queen's arrival. Instead, she merely looked up from the book she was reading as Lorcan slumbered on, watching her superior for a moment, before returning to the book.
Carina took the opportunity to sit at the side of Lorcan's crib, taking a seat in the rocking chair nearby. She didn't take him out, not wanting to disrupt his sleep, but instead reached a hand in to slip a finger within his curled fist. It was warm, to a point where she wondered already if he had inherited Sven's capacity for fire as he felt as warm as his father did. But then that period of reminiscing came to a close, Carina slamming a door on that painful thought of the time's Sven had warm her by simply holding her.
She sat there, for near on a few hours, wherein she fed him and helped change his nappy, simply watching him as if trying to make up for the hours she lost during the week. Her thoughts were turmoil, despite the calmness the room presented, as she considered her budding friendship with Natalia and being a mother to Lorcan. She was unable to help but acknowledge her awful track record with those she loved, trusted or considered friends. Emmett died because her failed coup, Lauren was now facing the execution because of a plot she encouraged, Sven had been betrayed by her and now no longer wanted anything to do with her. As she stared down at Lorcan's peaceful, soft features, she wondered how long it would be until she inevitably hurt him, or Natalia.
Spiralling in that dark pit wasn't good, but Carina couldn't stop herself. There was nothing she could grab onto to stop herself from doing so, with no hope that things could be different.
Her eyes began to sting and she closed them to push back the tears that threatened to fall. Reluctantly, she pulled back from Lorcan's crib, eyes moving to the clock that hung on the wall behind the nanny. It was coming up to the time of Lauren's execution, she realised, and with that revelation she wondered if Sven would see Lorcan before he left for the town square.
Not wanting to run the risk of crossing paths, the Queen murmured her farewells and promises of returning to the nanny before leaving, making a hasty retreat to her own room, which still glittered and glimmered with ice.
Natalia's words were a constant drum in her head, and Carina knew the other woman was right. She needed to take care of herself for Lorcan's sake, but as she walked through the halls back to her room, once more feeling the eyes of every servant, maid and guard on her, the more tired she grew at the prospect of doing the simple, every day things. Sven's words soon occupied her mind, pushing aside Natalia's advice, and piercing her heart. His expression, the one of betrayal and hurt and anger, filled her thoughts and the knowledge that she would no longer have him in her life caused her breath to leave her as though she had been punched in the stomach.
She had been kept alive because of Lauren's confession, but at what cost? Dark and dangerous thoughts soon whispered and cooed to her, murmuring equally cruel and brutal comments. As she battled with them, her expression was of cool neutrality, aloof and emotionless, as she walked the halls. One glance and no one would guess at the turmoil that lingered beneath the surface.
Her feet carried her to Lorcan's nursery, word obviously having reached the nanny as she didn't protest or question the Queen's arrival. Instead, she merely looked up from the book she was reading as Lorcan slumbered on, watching her superior for a moment, before returning to the book.
Carina took the opportunity to sit at the side of Lorcan's crib, taking a seat in the rocking chair nearby. She didn't take him out, not wanting to disrupt his sleep, but instead reached a hand in to slip a finger within his curled fist. It was warm, to a point where she wondered already if he had inherited Sven's capacity for fire as he felt as warm as his father did. But then that period of reminiscing came to a close, Carina slamming a door on that painful thought of the time's Sven had warm her by simply holding her.
She sat there, for near on a few hours, wherein she fed him and helped change his nappy, simply watching him as if trying to make up for the hours she lost during the week. Her thoughts were turmoil, despite the calmness the room presented, as she considered her budding friendship with Natalia and being a mother to Lorcan. She was unable to help but acknowledge her awful track record with those she loved, trusted or considered friends. Emmett died because her failed coup, Lauren was now facing the execution because of a plot she encouraged, Sven had been betrayed by her and now no longer wanted anything to do with her. As she stared down at Lorcan's peaceful, soft features, she wondered how long it would be until she inevitably hurt him, or Natalia.
Spiralling in that dark pit wasn't good, but Carina couldn't stop herself. There was nothing she could grab onto to stop herself from doing so, with no hope that things could be different.
Her eyes began to sting and she closed them to push back the tears that threatened to fall. Reluctantly, she pulled back from Lorcan's crib, eyes moving to the clock that hung on the wall behind the nanny. It was coming up to the time of Lauren's execution, she realised, and with that revelation she wondered if Sven would see Lorcan before he left for the town square.
Not wanting to run the risk of crossing paths, the Queen murmured her farewells and promises of returning to the nanny before leaving, making a hasty retreat to her own room, which still glittered and glimmered with ice.