- Invitation Status
- Looking for partners
- Posting Speed
- 1-3 posts per day
- One post per day
- Multiple posts per week
- 1-3 posts per week
- Writing Levels
- Intermediate
- Adept
- Advanced
- Prestige
- Preferred Character Gender
- Male
- Female
- Primarily Prefer Female
- Genres
- Fantasy, Historical, Magical, Romance (usually within other genres), Dystopia,.
"My father wasn't the greatest role model on parenting either, actually. Seems like we all have something to complain about." Carina busied herself with making sure the blanket was still wrapped entirely around Lorcan's body, not wanting him to be at all vulnerable to the cold she had caused. If he became ill because of it on top of all that was going on, she wasn't sure she would be able to forgive herself.
A small smile came across her lips as her eyes fluttered to look away from Lorcan's face to the floor between her and Natalia, head turning slightly, "I know Sven's going to be a great father... regardless of what happens at the end of this week." She agreed, leaning back into the cushion of the chaise, "It's all he's ever wanted, after all. Even when I... when we weren't happy with one another, I never once doubted what kind of father he would be. Not that I told him that until things started changing."
Her gaze returned to the babe in her arms, eyes starting to well again. Even the best case scenario at the end of the week wasn't entirely warm. Lorcan would have both his parents... but how would they come to care for him? Sven would never trust her again, and Carina wasn't a fool to believe that things would go back to how they were before the attack. Would they simply co-parent and avoid each other? Two separate rooms with Lorcan's in the middle? A rota for who would look after him and when? A civil partnership, rather than one of love and affection that they had before she ruined it all.
The worst... well, there would be no mother in Lorcan's life. Carina knew that Natalia may step into that role, or maybe Sven would move on and marry someone else. However, Lorcan wouldn't know of the love she had for him. He wouldn't remember any of this, being too young to understand what was happening and the memories would be long gone by the time he could make sense of it all. He would grow up hearing of his mother was executed for being a traitor.
Quickly, Carina freed a hand to wipe just under her eyes and then her nose with the back of her wrist.
"If... Lauren isn't found by the end of the week... they will continue long after, won't they? She... she'll need to be brought to justice too, so he'll... keep searching for her even after his decision for me has been carried out? He could still find out the truth even after... because I-- I'd want him to know the truth regardless of what happens. I need him to know that I would never-- that I was happy with him, that I did love him--"
She forced herself to cut off and focus back on Lorcan, allowing the reminder of the baby in her arms to tether her back to controlled emotions, "And for this one too. I don't want him growing up thinking the worst of me." She exhaled deeply, looking back to Natalia once she was certain she was composed.
"I'm sorry to keep going on, and I-- I appreciate you talking and acting as if I'll still be around after this week is up. But I have to... expect the worst. I can't get hopeful just to have it all torn away from me again."
A small smile came across her lips as her eyes fluttered to look away from Lorcan's face to the floor between her and Natalia, head turning slightly, "I know Sven's going to be a great father... regardless of what happens at the end of this week." She agreed, leaning back into the cushion of the chaise, "It's all he's ever wanted, after all. Even when I... when we weren't happy with one another, I never once doubted what kind of father he would be. Not that I told him that until things started changing."
Her gaze returned to the babe in her arms, eyes starting to well again. Even the best case scenario at the end of the week wasn't entirely warm. Lorcan would have both his parents... but how would they come to care for him? Sven would never trust her again, and Carina wasn't a fool to believe that things would go back to how they were before the attack. Would they simply co-parent and avoid each other? Two separate rooms with Lorcan's in the middle? A rota for who would look after him and when? A civil partnership, rather than one of love and affection that they had before she ruined it all.
The worst... well, there would be no mother in Lorcan's life. Carina knew that Natalia may step into that role, or maybe Sven would move on and marry someone else. However, Lorcan wouldn't know of the love she had for him. He wouldn't remember any of this, being too young to understand what was happening and the memories would be long gone by the time he could make sense of it all. He would grow up hearing of his mother was executed for being a traitor.
Quickly, Carina freed a hand to wipe just under her eyes and then her nose with the back of her wrist.
"If... Lauren isn't found by the end of the week... they will continue long after, won't they? She... she'll need to be brought to justice too, so he'll... keep searching for her even after his decision for me has been carried out? He could still find out the truth even after... because I-- I'd want him to know the truth regardless of what happens. I need him to know that I would never-- that I was happy with him, that I did love him--"
She forced herself to cut off and focus back on Lorcan, allowing the reminder of the baby in her arms to tether her back to controlled emotions, "And for this one too. I don't want him growing up thinking the worst of me." She exhaled deeply, looking back to Natalia once she was certain she was composed.
"I'm sorry to keep going on, and I-- I appreciate you talking and acting as if I'll still be around after this week is up. But I have to... expect the worst. I can't get hopeful just to have it all torn away from me again."