Looks fine to me Ascendant, and Camel is right, that conflict probably only took a few minutes at most. Several minutes is a long time for continuous combat, the entirety of your post probably would've taken anywhere from 3-10 minutes in RP time.
Also, on the second post, underneath the pilot roster, I've added a kill-board that I will be updating as the RP progresses. I'm debating between counting just the kills made in this RP, or using the Kills that each pilot has already made prior to the start of the RP as well.