Alright, so here goes. You know there are a lot of minor technicalities you need to update-- the sooner the better, because while
I know how they're supposed to be, they will potentially throw other people off.
Mostly technical fixes and touch-ups at this point. I'm not going to point
most of them out.
Three Inguz Steel Daggers
Inguz primarily use weapons as tools. Inguzcraft daggers would focus on utility. There isn't a problem with this.
The man dresses like a mercenary from the sandy deserts of Balefall
Not inherently wrong, however, you might want to match it up with the change from Balefall to the Sotis Republic.
speaks with a Vardendalian accent
I'm not sure where you're going to place his accent now, but this is definitely wrong.
suggest that his parents may have been Norborin.
Okay. Norboro is
very anti-elvish. If you want to keep the Artanese village as being primarily Elvish, you need to change his parents original homeland (Barren, Ketweland, or Morcrest are all pretty good options).
Depending on the rank/job of Sage's parents, a surname might be unlikely. Norboro in particular only has surnames for nobility, and even not always then.
Your husband Aerin has departed from Portsmouth with my dear Jaron
Portsmouth is an awful place for pirates. Morcrest's navy is extensive and competent. It's
immensely unlikely a ship would be attacked by pirates here.
I said I wouldn't point most of them out, but this one is a bad one.
Finally (this one is on me), there are some details about Keth which aren't
exactly on point. Nothing extreme-- and I realise the Keth description is a bit lacking. I'll try to update that fairly soon. And write something more thorough.
Sage is accepted
Onto #2
Tiny fanboy squeal because Pentaghast. Ahem
I'd like to see a bit more here, overall. For example, you don't mention anything about her potential bonuses when fighting
against mages. I don't believe I actually finished writing up the section on Inquisitors, so I'll do that soon for you. All-in-all, her strengths/weakness feel a bit flat compared to Sage's.
Etvia doesn't
technically allow slavery. Instead it has slavery by a prettier name: indentured servitude. This only applies to elves, however. Inguz are not even considered "human" enough to be counted as a race in Etvia, generally. This has a lot to do with the unending hostility between Etvia and the Wildlands (and to some degree, Keth).
there were thousands upon thousands of Elves who were instead serving in the army against their will
While no doubt there are elves forced to serve as common soldier, there would not be
that many. More commonly, elves are forced into menial types of jobs.
With changes in mind,
Lucatiel is accepted.