Something-or-Anothers: Tales of the Confused Adventure's Shenanigans

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When the slime finally released Sage, she too flopped on the ground on her back, but she didn't stay down as long as Sanz. Sage rolled over, coughing and sputtering. She threw up a small bit, her body trying to reject the poison of the slime that she accidentally swallowed, "Fuck, ew, gross, ew.." Sage panted and muttered to herself.

Rhea gasped as the little slimes ran past her. She bashed on that got too close with her stave, killing it, but the rest disappeared. Rhea then looked at the group, Sage already sitting up but Sanz wasn't moving. She rushed over to him, but as she approched, he started to get up and cough and breath again. Rhea let out a long relieved sigh. She had no idea what they did, but they did it, 'Let me heal." She said as she leaned near Sanz and put her hand near him, starting her healing magic.

"What happened?" Sage asked after several long deep breaths.

"Y-you guys beat it... The other slimes ran away." Rhea told them as she healed Sanz.
 

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Sanz gave out a long, relieved breath when Rhea started speaking. There was a warm feeling spreading from his arm across his entire body, where the young woman's hand was resting on him. It was like lowering into a warm bath, and the pain started to melt away.
"Okay... not everything hurts..."
One eye peeled open, looking over first at the flopped figure of Sage, and then over to Rhea who was healing him. Whether he was too tired or just didn't care anymore, Sanz didn't even try to put on some "tough-guy" act like he normally would. Instead he just laid down there for a minute
"Thank you Rhea..."

The man's gaze turned back over to Sage. He couldn't tell how badly the young man had been hurt from his time in the beast.
"Sage, how are you holding up?"
Sanz's voice was noticeably tired and soft. Any bite or harshness had been drained from his words.
 

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Sage coughed again softly, but then looked at Sanz with her cocky grin, "I should be the mascot for those heartburn commercials." She told him jokingly.

Rhea gave Sage a strange look, obviously not comprehending the joke Sage had made, though she finished healing Sanz and moved over a few feet to start healing Sage, who let out an audible groan of relief.
 

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"Ugh."
Sanz let his head fall back into the dirt. He just wanted to lay here forever--or at least until his limbs didn't feel like they were made of metal.
"If you find a way to do that, let me know."
The man didn't much care, or even particularly notice, that Rhea was completely lost on their conversation. He probably would have if given the time, but the start of that thought was interrupted by the sound of footsteps. Helen was running out of the house towards them, with bundle of cloth towels in her arms.

"Gods above! Are you three okay?"
 

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"Well, I wasn't dissolved inside a giant slime, so I'd say I'm doing pretty good." Sage said with another soft cough and a clearing of her throat. Though as she stood up, she was surprised when her armor kind of sat on her person a bit crooked. She noticed that some of the stabs had been dissolved and bits of the armor actually just didn't exist anymore. "Fuck.." She said softly. The armor was hardly armor before. Now this, this was trash.

"W-we're alive-" Rhea said softly, standing from finishing healing Sage. "They manage to defeat it and it scared the other slimes off too." She told the woman.
 

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Sanz gave out a groan as he forced himself into a sitting position. His body was no longer in pain, but whatever healing Rhea provided clearly did not remove exhaustion. It felt like someone had filled his arms with lead, not helped at all by the fact that his clothing was drenched with slime innards. The threads were also breaking apart in areas... unsurprising given what it had just been through.

Before Sanz could say anything more, Helen threw a thick cloth blanket over him, followed by both Sage and Rhea.
"When I saw that monstrosity, I feared the worst. Please, come inside, I can't possibly thank you enough."
 

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"Oh th-thank you." Rhea said softly, reaching to help Sage up. Sage staggered a bit, but righted herself. She then wrapped the blanket around herself tighter, "I hope there isn't any kind of slime flue." Sage said jokingly.

"I don't think so." Rhea answered seriously.

Rhea went to help Sanz up as well, but before she could get to him, Sage was already there. She extended her hand out to Sanz for him to take. She gave him a small grin, "We're making quite the team already." Sage felt exhausted too, but enough that she was still able to crack jokes. She too as covered in slime juice still.
 

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Sanz took the hand that was offered to help himself to his feet. Not that Sage would find it easy, considering Sanz probably weighed a good 50 pounds more than the young man. Sanz brought one corner of the blanket up to his face, and wiped away the glop that remained.
"Quite the team indeed... let's not come so close to death next time though yeah?"
The man actually had something resembling a smile on his face. It was the first time he had joked at all since coming to this world. He didn't say anything more as Helen lead them back into her house. The three of them were lead to an open fireplace before Helen left for the kitchen.
"Please, take some time to rest. It's the least I can do."

The sun at this point had fallen below the horizon, much to Sanz's chagrin. At this rate they'd be walking home in the dark again. Out of the corner of his eye, two small heads of brown hair were visible. It looked like the two children of the household were peeking at their guests, albeit shyly.
 

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"Do you have a basin or something we can wash the acid off with?" Sage asked even as they approached the farm and they could see the two boys waiting anxiously. "I can feel the left over gunk burning my skin again." Sage said. It was like having a sunburn, and it wasn't very pleasent. She assumed the burning would stop when she got fully de-gunked.

"Oh, and I have enough magic left I can try and heal some of the damage on the plants." Rhea offered, jogging a little to try and keep up with the two taller warriors.
 

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Helen nodded at Sage's request.
"Absolutely. If you give me a few minutes, I can heat up the bath for you."
Sanz raised his hand and was about to protest, but before any words could even leave his mouth, the woman was already shaking her head.
"Please, don't be modest. You've saved our farm and likely our lives. You've even offered to help save our fields--this is the least I can do."

Helen marched up the stairs, and the sounds of running water could soon be heard. Sanz let out a sigh and just collapsed in one of the chairs. He didn't like accepting help from strangers--hell in any other situation he would have simply refused. But right now? He was too tired to offer much resistance. They'd probably be marching home in the dark at this point anyway. Better to be clean and rested than as they were now.

Sanz felt like he was about to nod off in the chair, but was stopped by a head of brown hair in front of him. One of the boys had plucked up enough courage to walk up to him.
"Mister, do you kill monsters for a living?"
Sanz let out a sigh, but from underneath the mane of unkempt hair one could see the hints of a smile. Children were a soft spot for him, always had been.
"I do now. Have been in one way or another for some time actually."
"But where's your weapon? All the other slayers I've seen have swords or axes or--or even something crazy!"
Sanz let out a chuckle before holding his hand out in front of him.
"A weapon is a boon in a fight, true... but even if you use a weapon, you have to use your body to fight. Why not skip the metal or wooden implement and just hone your body?"
The young man looked at Sanz like he had espoused some great truth of the universe. Over by Sage and Rhea, the other boy (perhaps spurred on by his brother) had come forward.
"Thank--thank you for saving our home..."
He was clearly a shy one.

Helen came down the stairs after a few minutes of conversation with the boys.
"The bath is ready whenever you are, please take your time."
Sanz looked over at his two compatriots for a second before speaking.
"Sage, go ahead. I'll go in after you two are done."
 

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"Oh no, I didn't get any slime at all, I'm fine." Rhea said with a smile, waving her hands lightly, "Ill go out and start working on the plants." Rhea told them before turning to leave back outside, stave in hand.

Sage sighed, she had watched the boys and Sanz was so cheesy with them. He was definatlly a guy who was pretty melty on the inside. Even though he tried to be a brute on the outside. Though... he did a pretty good job of looking and acting like a meat head, "Yeah, I'll go on a head." Sage said. She certainty wasn't going to play the 'noo you go first' act. She wasn't that nice.

"But I'll be quick. Thanks so much Ms. Hellen for letting me bath." Sage said grinning. With that, she turned to go to the bathroom, taking her armor that was falling apart off and washing all her clothing. She'd just be damp. Good thing it was summer and not cold, so she'd dry off on the walk home.

Sage finished quickly and came back in her damp clothing, "Alright Sanz, you should go before Rhea has to start healing you again." Sage told him.
 

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"Don't over-exert yourself."
Sanz's voice followed Rhea as she left the dwelling. The girl had already healed both Sanz and Sage completely. That, combined with the fact that she didn't seem particularly hardy... the last thing they needed was for Rhea to collapse from exhaustion. Though if she had to be carried back to town, Sanz was pretty sure he could do that...

Helen sat down as the two boys ran outside.
"They've been cooped up for the last couple of days, so the two of them have quite a bit of energy... How long have you been adventurers? We were watching from the house--and things didn't look like they were going well for some time..."
Sanz gave a sigh before leaning back in his chair.
"This is the first quest that the three of us have taken on as a team. So there were a few kinks to work out."
She did not need to know that Sanz and Sage were brand new to this whole questing business. And he hadn't technically told a lie...
"Hopefully Rhea will be done soon, so the three of us can get out of your hair."
"Oh it's no trouble--"

Helen was interrupted by Sage's return, to which Sanz only nodded and silently headed up the stairs. The warm water felt almost like a shock to his system when he entered the bath. The man hadn't realized how numb his skin was until he started massaging warmth and feeling back into it. He'd been hiding it pretty well, but Sanz's close shave with death had him thinking carefully about the next course of action. At this rate, he and Sage would have to nearly kill themselves just to make a reasonable living, nevermind the costs of necessary equipment. How many more times could they scrape by before one of them actually didn't make it? The man shook his head. A different approach was needed. Of that he was certain. He'd need to talk with Sage about this...

it was a few minutes later when Sanz came down the stairs, now dressed his dry clothes from their old world. Better to be dry and stick out when they would be marching after hours.
"Is Rhea still busy with the plants?"
 

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Sage talked to Helen, mostly boasting about how great their battle was. Of course she'd let Sanz seem pretty cool as she talked as well. She let Helen know that everything was pretty good and they were perfectly ok with what they did. By the time Sanz came in, Rhea was walking back in with the two boys. She looked a little more tired, but was still conscious.

"I healed as many of the plants as I could." Rhea told Helen. Although as many meaned quite a few, it definitely didn't mean all of it, "But please be careful, there is still slime goop around. It is acidic, I recommend using tools and gloves." Rhea instructed her.

Sage smirked, "I'm glad we helped you!" Sage told her.
 

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Helen gave a short bow in response to Rhea.
"Thank you three so much for all your help. We'll be able to start cleaning up the farm tomorrow, all because of you. I will send a message to the guild first thing in the morning about the increased population from my original request--with any luck they should increase your pay accordingly."
Sanz could only nod his head in response.

"We should probably be leaving. If we wait any longer it's going to be dark before we even head out. And Rhea looks like she's about to fall over from exhaustion."
Helen gave a worried look, but nodded her head.
"Yes... please be careful on the road. I doubt you'll run into much trouble but..."
"Don't worry about us."
Sanz opened the door for Rhea and Sage to head out before excusing himself. The two boys of the house waved from behind their mother.
"We'll know who to call if we have slime trouble again!"
The young one called out.

Sanz couldn't help but chuckle as the three of them headed down the road. They didn't have much light left, so Sanz was keeping his eyes peeled for trouble. He also had an eye and an ear pegged on Rhea. Though he doubted she would ever admit it, she didn't look like she was up for a long night-hike after the events of the day.
 

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"Thanks again!" Sage said, waving at the woman and boys. Rhea also gave a tried wave at the family.

"They were really nice." Rhea said softly after they made it back to the road.

Sage gave a small shrug, "Seems like a lot of people are pretty nice when you ride their property of unwanted monsters." Sage mentioned, "But man, I'm tired." Sage said, "And my armor.. is toast. I'm lucky my weapon didn't get smiled too badly."

"I'm sorry.. I don't have a repair spell or anything, so I can't mend your broken stuff." Rhea told them.

Sage gave an indefinite shrug, "Ehe, we'll manage." Sage told Rhea.

They walked back to town as the sun started to set, it was quite between the three of them right now, all of them pretty tried. Sage was suprised when a couple of men came out from behind a couple of trees, grinning at the three of them, weapons ready, "Hey, how are you folks going?"

"Going alright, just headed back to town," Sage said, her hand going to her blade.
 

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"Most people tend to be nice when you do something for them and are polite."
Sanz gave pause when thee trio of men came out from the trees.
"... most people..."

Three men. Three smiles. Three weapons.
There were either reasonably sure that the three of them could overpower their would-be victims--which fair enough, Rhea was essentially a non-combatant while both Sage and Sanz were exhausted, OR... (what Sanz would place money on if he had to) there were more than just the three here.
"Yes, we've got somewhere to be. I'm sure you do as well this time of night."

The man found one of his arms moving in front of Rhea. How long had it been since he had to fight with a bystander? Years at least...
 

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Time for her bluff skill to get put to work! Sage smiled and took a small step forward, "Look, I don't want to waste your time, but we are just the scouts for our team. I really don't want any trouble when the rest of our party gets here."

There was a small hesitation from two of them, but the middle one just grinned at them before shaking his head, "Don't try to bluff me. Your skill is too low for that."

Sage made a soft 'tch' sound, but kept a poker face the best she could, "Really, I'm not bluffing. We may look a little raged, but thats because we're not the tanks of the group." Sage said laughing softly.

"If the rest of them is as tired as you, It'll be easy pickings. Hand over your money and weapons." The man said, motioning with his hands to put them in a pile on the ground.

Sage wasn't sure what to do. Give up or fight?

"YYYOOOOUUU ASSSS HOOOOLLLEESSS--"

Sage was shocked when a man ran up from behind the bandits with a shield and sword, then jumped before pile-driving one of them men with his shield, smashing him in face when everyone turned to look.

"R-Roen?!" Rhea stuttered as she saw the brown haired man Sage recognized as the glaring older brother or boyfriend they saw in the hall all the time.
 

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Random do-gooder? Guard? Relation to Rhea? Sanz didn't know who had jumped into the middle of their would-be assailants.

Quite frankly, he also didn't care. When at a disadvantage, you take every opportunity you can to no longer be as such.

The moment those three turned their heads, Sanz was already rushing forward. He didn't have much in him for skills, after this he was probably spent on that department, but now was not the time to hold back. The man clenched his fist, sparks flew from his eyes and one of the two muggers that was still upright found Sanz's fist slamming into their liver
"HAYMAKER!"

The man went flying several feet, and would be in a great deal of pain, but likely not out of it. Sanz took in a deep breath, trying to both hide and fight through his exhaustion, before jumping into the fray. He didn't have time for questions or stray thoughts. Or he'd be dead. And he'd been close enough to death more than enough today already.
 

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Sage watched the group engage quickly before she came up behind the last bandit and wrapped her curve blade around his neck, "Don't move." Sage told him, taking on of his arm and wrapping her arm through his forearms. She pressed the blade against his neck, "Listen, I'm going to cut a deal with you. You guys leave your money and weapons and we won't have any more trouble." Sage told him.

Roen however was picking up and litterally tossing the other guy into a true, "How could you two be so irrisposible!" He yelled.

Before the man answered, Sage looked confused, "Wait.. 'you two'? Sanz and I?" Sage asked.

"Who else do you think I'm talking to!!" Roen said.

"Uh.. Ro--" Rhea tried to interject.

"She could have gotten killed! Rhea is non-combative!" Roen said.
 

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Sanz was busy kicking his chosen bandit until the point where he felt like staying down. Almost too busy to hear Roen shouting at Sage and himself. Normally Sanz would try being calm and reasonable in this sort of situation... Sanz also normally didn't find himself having been almost eaten by a living jelly the size of a monster truck.

"She's a non-combatant who offered her assistance to us. And quite frankly, after the shit me and Sage have been dealt the last two days, an earnest offer of help was not going to be ignored. Now if you don't mind, there are places far better than this to hold a shouting match."
Sanz's voice was curt, irritated, and definitely forced. But he had not raised it... yet.
 
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