Continued from here.
Chapter Three
"Fire Walk with Me"
With evening arrived, as everyone settled into the hotel and flocked into various rooms, an announcement was soon be broadcast throughout the building. It was the unmistakable voice of Monokuma.
"Ahem! Your headmaster has an important announcement to make! The last few days have been so stressful for everyone, hasn't it? Well, don't I have a treat for you! I wonder what festivities I have in store...? Oh, but I don't want to ruin the surprise! Everyone, please gather in the hotel's cafeteria! I hear they make a damn fine cup of coffee!"
As the students were ushered into the cafeteria, they would find a stage had been set up at the back of the room. Above a red backdrop were lights that lit up the stage, bathing the two stuffed animals standing below. Monokuma stood before a mic, dressed in a blue suit and tie, while Monomi stood behind him, dressed in a pink frilly dress.
"Welcome to the fun time, everyone! What's fun time, you ask? Why, it's a two-man comedy routine! Say hello to my partner!"
Monomi looked around as if she was confused how she even got up on stage.
"Ha-wha-wha! Why am I in a dress?! What--"
Monokuma grabbed the mic to interrupt Monomi. "Now, without further ado, I'm pleased to present 'Monokuma's Side-Splitting Two-Man Comedy Show!'"
"Huh? I didn't hear anything about this! Do I have to improvise?!"
"Why..."
"Hello, I'm Monokuma!"
"Um, I'm Monomi...?"
"And we're..."
Wanda stood up, her chair screeched.
"Done? I hope so."
"No!" yelled Monokuma, paws on his hips. "The Monokumas! Don't you want to see my mind-reading abilities, Witch?"
"Eh? You can read minds?!"
"Hmm, I'll guess your favorite food. Your favorite food is..."
Beside Wanda, a woman approached, holding a pot in her hands.
The older woman smiled and asked,
"Dear, can you please sit down? My pot is getting cold!"
Wanda tried to smile as she sat down, nodding at the woman.
"Of course, miss."
The pot lady took a few steps forward, but stopped suddenly. She smiled and turned to Wanda, holding out her pot for her to see.
"You should talk to my pot, you know. It might help you."
Shane, sitting nearby, scoffed angrily.
"Are you fuckin' serious? She ain't gonna talk to a fuckin' pot."
Wanda looked at the pot. Unlike most people, being told to talk to a pot wasn't that weird for her.
"Hello. Are you having a lovely day?"
"... Of course she agrees to talk to the fucking pot. She married a fuckin' robot. Talking to a pot is normal after that."
Monomi cleared her throat in an attempt to gather attention back to the stage.
"S-So... my favorite food? It should be obvious what rabbits like!"
"Hmm... it starts with a C."
"Yes, that's right!"
"I think..."
The pot lady smiled as she lifted off the top of her pot, revealing steaming creamed corn.
"... Creamed corn!" Monokuma finished, holding up his arms.
Wanda stared at the creamed corn. For the first time on this trip, Wanda was visibly angry.
"That's not funny, pot." Wanda's eyes turned to Monukuma.
"I know what you're doing, bear!"
"Does the pot know, huh?"
Wanda didn't even bother to look back at Shane.
"Yes he does!"
"For fuck's sake..."
Wanda stood strong, marching her way toward the stage.
"You're out of your league here, Monkuma. I know what everything that is going on here. Soon enough, I will be the one with the upper hand." Wanda paused as she turned her head to the pot, as if waiting for something to happen.
"Oh, that's funny! It's probably the funniest part of the show so far! You, getting the upper hand? Don't split my sides
too hard! You do know I can deal with you if you get uppity? Or did you forget? I know you have the memory of salmon, but still! Like the Ultimate Snow Job or whatever, I can put just about anyone in their place!"
Monokuma giggled away, but suddenly he stopped. "... Someone shut that pot up! Yeah, shut your pothole!" The pot lady nodded at this, placing the lid back on her pot and shuffling out of the room.
Monomi was nervously rubbing her hands together.
"But... my favorite food is actually carrots..."
Jude looked around the room.
"Uh, so did this become a three-man comedy show? Or..."
Wanda smirked as she watched the pot leave.
"I know you, Monakuma. Our powers are alike. Despair and Chaos. They go hand in hand. But I use my powers of disorder to make order. That why I'll win. That why you fear me." Wanda then walked off to take a seat back where she had been sitting. She avoided the gaze of everyone in the room.
"Is that so? It would be
so unfortunate if you were to have an accident then, huh? Maybe kill another of your fellow students? Your lucky I didn't start a class trial for the last one!" Monokuma turned to find Monomi glaring at him. "What? You're always so quick to make scary faces, Monomi. You guys better be careful too. Ya know, since Monomi's actually a bad guy. She's as bad as the first villain the hero fights in some teen anime!" Monomi began to sputter, but Monokuma just continued. "Believe me, it's a fact that she's a villain! If only you were to learn what Monomi was willing to do..."
"Noooo! Stop it! This is so bad in so many ways!"
"Puhuhu..." Monokuma turned to punch Monomi yet again, the poor rabbit falling right off the stage.
"I'm through dealing with you!"
"GYAHHHH! His backhand is far too powerful!"
Monokuma turned back to the mic and cleared his throat. "What a great show! Did you like it? Love it? Or was it too high-brow for you? Either way, it's over! Please enjoy a nice meal and get to bed! Healthy boys and girls make for good detectives!"
With that, Monokuma walked off the stage, leaving the group in silence.
Continued here.
***
CAST LIST
@C.T. as
Arya Stark "Ultimate Killer" [Game of Thrones]
@Kaykay as
Chikage Kushinada "Ultimate Jujutsuka" [History's Strongest Disciple Kenichi]
@Chewy Rabbits as
Catbug "Ultimate Cutie" [Bravest Warriors]
@Minerva as
Corrin "Ultimate Protector" [Fire Emblem]
@DapperDogman as
Darv "Ultimate Saltborn" [Salt & Sanctuary]
@Yun Lee as
Edmond Honda "Ultimate Sumo Wrestler" [Street Fighter]
@BarrenThin as
Genji Shimada "Ultimate Forgiveness" [Overwatch]
@Krieg as
Isaac "Felix" Gates "Ultimate Bounty Hunter" [Red VS Blue]
@The Tactician as
Jack "Ultimate Samurai" [Samurai Jack]
@york as
Jack Frost "Ultimate Funhouse" [Rise of the Guardians]
@Verite as
Kyoko Kirigiri "Ultimate ???" [Danganronpa]
@Gummi Bunnies as
"Lapis Lazuli" "Ultimate Crystal" [Original Character]
@LuckycoolHawk9 as
M. "Stiles" Stilinski "Ultimate Sarcasm" [Teen Wolf]
@Crow as
Morikubo Nono "Ultimate Wallflower" [THE iDOLM@STER]
@Archwar as
Noble Six "Ultimate Lone Wolf" [Original Character/Halo]
@Jeremi as
Poison "Ultimate Manager" [Street Fighter]
@ShiroKiyoshi as
Rant T. Mouse "Ultimate Rat Mouse" [Original Character]
@Josh M as
Scarlet Witch "Ultimate Witch" [Marvel Comics]
@Crimson Spartan as
Seamus "Sledge" Cowden "Ultimate Breaching Charge" [Rainbow Six: Siege]
@Hospes as
Tarlotte "Ultimate Tantrum" [Kyoshiro to Town no Sora]
@CrunchyCHEEZIT as
Tekhartha Zenyatta "Ultimate Teacher" [Overwatch]
@Periodically Incorrect as
Terezi Pyrope "Ultimate Justice" [Homestuck]
@DBZ7 as
Tharja "Ultimate Hextress" [Fire Emblem]
@Nater Taters as
Tomoko Kuroki "Ultimate Loser" [WataMote]
@Atomyk as
Victoria Maribeth Chase "Ultimate Bitch" [Life is Strange]
@Takumi as
Yurick "Ultimate Arcanist" [The Last Story]
@Klutzy Ninja Kitty as
Zinnia "Ultimate Lorekeeper" [Pokemon]