I normally don't bother talking about this stuff (not my business to bother other people with shit)
but I've sort of left this RP hanging along for so long I feel I do owe some sort of explanation. To the best of my ability at least, because frankly speaking I'm not 100% sure about my own understanding of it even, I'm mainly theorising. Note, this will seem like I'm going off-topic/rambling for a bit but... Why am I disclaiming this? You guys get that shit ALL THE TIME from Kaga. :P
Anyways, Kaga's already gotten unconcious hint's and pieces of this a
while ago (though I don't fault her for not picking it up. Since I wasn't even picking it up at the time), back when after I graduated from college my progress in life just kind of... stopped. I knew I didn't want to pursue the path I was going after, but I also didn't know where else to go. Fast forward for a year of limbo, which for the first while wasn't an issue cause it was basically "Woo! Graduation!". But overtime, when it came clear nothing was really popping up after a few months? Well, I think I started falling into a sort of slope/trap of just looking for ways to kill time hoping eventually something would pop up. And once in that trap any big motivation or urge to look kind of, vanished. Fitting enough to what Kaga said earlier, I kind of developed an Apathy for it, and that quickly lead to Apathy in most areas. Gaming? Spend a day or two and then drop it. D&D? Get a bit tired out after a couple hours. Planning social events? Basically everything is either Discord, or long time planned events. Forum RPs? They were there... I would post when the mood popped up, and then I wouldn't be in the mood later. Hell even shit posting is something I now kind of look at and go "Am I really in the mood? Not really".
Though, there's a few disclaimers/clarifications I should be making here. Cause if I leave it on just that misunderstandings are to be made.
1. I'd be lying if I said the slow pace wasn't also somewhat a factor. But, I've dealt with slow RP's plenty of times before. I'm pretty sure in normal circumstances this would have just been a case of "A hobby I do once every week or two". So
@Kagayours shouldn't take this drop out personally. This is strictly to do with my own shit.
2. Iwaku activities also have the additional deal in that I found it to become too much of a time sink. I've spent so much time on Iwaku the past year it ate rather heavily into other things. Though note, this
mainly applies to places like General Chatting. RP's are more loosely associated because anytime I enter the site I always get the temptation to peek into there, and then lose track of time.
2a. Additionally, said community tends to be rather... Dramatic? Judging? Cliche? No where near to the levels of RP Guild, but bad enough that eventually I started to associate the site with toxicity time to time.
2b. Besides, have you seen their topics lately? There's almost no shit posts or other shenanigans! It's ALL small talk! >.< If I wanted small talk I'd talk to people on the bus or something. It might seem more productive, but ultimately it really is the worst time killer. Your time is gone and you know what? Someone's favourite colour with blue? Woopie fucking do! At least with random shenanigans you're able to form friendships through mutual tom-foolery.
3. I kind of realised while typing this a number of people are probably thinking "Gwazi's dealing with Depression/Anxiety/Insert Disorder here" and I'm going to squash that rumour/thinking right here (Unless if it's Autism. That's
pretty accurate). I'm just at a point in my life where I'm just kinda in a "What the fuck now?" state. And it's managed to bleed into other hobbies, which is usually fine, but not when other people are left waiting/hanging as a result.
4. I am currently pursuing tabletop RP design. Though for now it's an at-home independent in-devour with a friend of mine. So that's also been drawing a good amount of my attention and energy ever since May. Though this has been getting a number of obstacles thrown at it as well, stuff that put's it at risk of being put on the back burner. And even if that doesn't happen, it's just exploration atm, not something I know for certain hence why the Apathy is still around.
5. I do actually have a lot of fun with say Sherlock and RvB. And I am technically in the mood right now to do another post. The issue? Well, first off I haven't caught up yet, and by the time I've caught up I'd likely would lose that mood. And even if I didn't, I would certainly lose it when the need for another post would pop up. Though it was mainly this that stopped me from dropping out for so long, I was thinking "I'm not in the mood... Now. But it will come later". But I did that for too long, the RP's in a pretty bad position as a result, so it's really in everyone's best interest if I just pull the plug on my involvement and let you guys basically clean up the mess I left. Sorry. :/
So yea, that's basically the explanation (that I can recall at 1 in the morning). I'll add more later if I think of something else, there's questions etc.
And note, I'll probably still be lurking/poking in the OOC time to time. Well, at least for as long as I bother to check out Iwaku.
EDIT
6. Another reason the drop out took so long is because I was worried this was more of a "In a mood/phase" deal. And by making a big explanation/scene and leaving I was being one of those drama queens who threatens to quit every other week but then turns around and is all cheeky and fine. But... Like I said above, it dragged on for so long I figured I should just
get on with it.
