Corrupt-A-Wish

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Granted. Now your select few people are zombies and you have no way to defend yourself.

I wish that I was immune to every cold and disease.
 
Granted.
Your immunity to every cold and disease intrigues the world, and you are constantly hounded for your secret. You will never be able to get a moment's peace. Your every action will be documented. Your past will become something people work to uncover to make a quick buck. You will not be able to hide using the internet's anonymity, as someone will inevitably track you down. Some will worship you. Others will condemn you. You will be seen as a freak of nature, to be observed, in order to have the secret of your immunity revealed. You will be poked and prodded, not experimented on like in the movies, but it will still be really inconvenient.

I wish I had my textbook back.
 
Granted. You have your textbook back, but it's been vandalized beyond repair and is no longer of any use to you.

I wish I didn't just watch Salad Fingers. @_@
 
Granted. You're going to watch it two seconds from now.
I wish I knew my true feelings for her...
 
Granted. The 'True feelings' turn out to be a psychotic hate. Also, 'Her' turns out to be planet Earth. You are so overwhelmed by this reveal that you have to share your feelings with everyone. As might be obvious, they react by declaring you insane and throwing you into an asylum.

I wish for some motivation.
 
Granted. Since you didn't specify what you wanted to be motivated to do, I assume you mean you wish to be motivated to do exercise. There is now a horde of flesh eating demons that wish to shred your body and eat you alive. They follow you everywhere, forcing you to be constantly on the run, working every muscle in your body climb, run, and jump your way free of the nightmares that wish to devour you.

I wish I could warp reality to my will.
 
Granted. You are unable to stop warping reality. Your every thought becomes the truth accepted by the world around you. For a moment you are being chased by a horde of flesh-eating demons. In a panic, you think them into your own harem of beautiful women. One of them reminds you of an anime you once watched, and you find yourself wondering what it would be like to be a magical girl. As the mini-skirt appears around your hips, you are so embarrassed that you wish you were dead.

I wish alcohol glows neon green.
 
Granted. The internet ceases to exist, as well as every other form of electronic transmission. There are no longer any games to lag, or connections of any kind. The entire world is pushed back to writing letters to communicate and playing cards for entertainment. The economy cannot sustain itself without it's slightly-laggy-but-mostly-instant communication and the country soon descends into anarchy. You are captured and sold into slavery, and now spend the rest of your life tied to an oar on board a pirate ship.

I wish the Pillsbury DoughBoy had been a girl.
 
Granted. The social controversy of the matter caused a massive boycott of Pillsbury products by men against the feminist movement during 1965, when it was created, and the feminist movement took it up as a symbol. Since society was still largely male-dominated at the time, there were a larger amount of people not buying the products than there were buying them, and the company goes bankrupt. This furthers the tension about the social conflict, and the country is split in two: those who support women's rights, and those who don't. The states that support Women's Rights secede from the Union just as the South did, and another civil war breaks out. It ravages the country for a few decades, and ends with the victory of the much larger anti-Women's Rights states, and the obliteration of the feminist movement. Women are forced into indentured servitude to men for several more centuries.

I wish everyone I made enemies with had taste buds in their anuses.
 
Granted. These enemies soon find out that They can taste through their anus so they start a huge revolutionary products to help keep their anuses clean and give them forever a good taste in their anus. They teach everyone else in the world how to grow taste buds in their anuses and make millions off of their products. Because you are the only one who does not have taste buds in your anus you are shunned and left homeless.

I wish I could finally meet a good, honest boy to be my boyfriend.
 
Granted. Tomorrow you meet a good, honest boy. He's the kind of boy who plays the organ for church at twelve and earms his Eagle Scout award by fourteen; remains at the top of his class all four years of high school and holds the office of Student Body President for both Junior and Senior years; and becomes a successful, wealthy doctor after graduating from med school. He'll even invent a cure for cancer one day. Of course, you'll have the opportunity to experience all of this first-hand: when you meet him tomorrow he's only going to be six years old.

I wish people didn't have wisdom teeth.
 
Granted.
As wisdom teeth werea vital part of human physiology in the earliest stages of human life, the removal of these structures prevents humanity from getting enough energy to survive, killing it off as their bodies consume themselves to try to continue on. Humanity never develops, and earth ispopulated by another sentient species.
I wish that Mechs existed in our world.
 
Granted, but they all go rogue on humanity. Congrats', you just made the tripods of War of the Worlds a reality and put humanity on the brink of extinction.

I wish to be God.
 
Granted. You are now a God. Here's the thing though; you know how Gods need people to believe in them in order to exist? Turns out that nobody believes in you by virtue of nobody even knowing that you exist in the first place. As a result, you disappear in a puff of logic.

I wish for the motivation and inspiration to write an amazing story.
 
(Somebody knows the Hitchhiker's Guide)

Granted. You will now find the inspiration to write one of the greatest tragedies ever. The motivation for doing so is as simple as keeping a journal. You and all the people closest to you will find yourselves stranded on an isolated, uncharted island somewhere in the Pacific. This island is populated with a number of large, carnivorous animals, microscopic threats, and even deadly flora. With no hope of rescue, your group will be killed off a few at a time. You will be able to record the entire story and it will undoubtedly become a bestseller--so long as you and it can escape the island.

I wish for Santa Claus to bring me the complete Sid Meier's Civilization series.
 
Granted, but they all are written to floppies and it will take the rest of your life to finish installing it all. You will never get to play them.

I wish I had a better PC.
 
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Granted, but it's programmed in an language foreign to this world. Due to this, the government takes it to try to figure out the language and contact the alien race, and you no longer have it. You 'had' a better PC.

I wish I knew what would've happened to the course of history if da Vinci's 33-Barreled Organ gun was widely implemented in warfare during his time.
 
Granted. The weapon was used by a group of revolutionists. They took over italy, and created a totalitarian government. That government still exists. We have no hopes to beat them and are forced to do labor intensive work for the rest of our, now meager lives. You receive the worst job of all as you are a test subject for any cruel experiments.

I wish all inhabitants of the world, including myself, die painless death at the same time.
 
Granted. On New Year's Day, 3000 AD, everyone will drop dead without feeling a thing. Until then, nobody will be able to die regardless of circumstances. Starvation, dehydration, disease, beheading, drawn and quartered, etc.--none of it can kill a person. By the time people are two hundred years old, they'll be able to do nothing more than lay on the hard ground and be wracked by pain, begging for the death that won't come for several more centuries.

I wish that the aliens would return Elvis Presley.
 
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