Corrupt-A-Wish

Status
Not open for further replies.
Granted, but meerkats make very poor rulers and the government is quickly overthrown by a variety of nasty characters that should never be allowed in any position of authority.

I wish the boss's dog would stop stealing paper out of the recycle bin.
 
Granted. Instead, it now steals paper from your desk.

I wish for the death of all wasps, bees and related stabby insects.
 
Granted. By doing so, pollination ceases to exist, thereby making plant reproduction impossible. The human race has four years left to live.

I wish I could rule the world without anything stopping my reign, or without destroying the world or its inhabitants in the process.
 
Granted, the people have been turned into sheep and have been turned into a llama.


I wish for the third season of Game of Thrones.
 
Granted. It sucks horribly, completely ignores every bit of canon that's been set up until now. Characters which were once arch-enemies are now suddenly in love, perfectly Lawful Good characters suddenly betray their best friends for shits and giggles and more of that crap. It utterly kills the franchise beyond any redemption. Then, people find out that you were the cause of all this. Suffice to say, they are not happy.


I wish to be a hot chick magnet.
 
Granted. Baby chickens now stick to you like paperclips to a magnet, and your natural body temperature is now that of magma. Your extreme heat kills the chicks and the heat and stench of dead chicken drives people away from you, leaving you with only the company of your dead chicks.

I wish to know what would the world would be like if Christianity, Judaism, and Islam never existed.
 
Granted. Well, the best way to find out about such a thing is for it to actually happen, right?
Judaism got wiped out early on in its existence. With Judaism gone, Christianity and Islam logically will never appear either.
As it turns out, one of the tribal religions that would be destroyed by Judaism was extremely violent. Now that they're free to grow, they take over the entire region in an opressive grasp. They eventually spread out over the entire world, killing anyone and everyone who doesn't agree with them. In a society far more opressive than any of the three Abrahamic religions ever was, the renaissance never happens, nor will any scientific revolution. People still live in horrible conditions, dying of ailments that under our circumstances could easily be cured. In short, everything sucks.
Oh, and since the three main religions you wished away technically never existed to begin with, you didn't ever knew about them, making it impossible to wish them back.


I wish for you, the genie (hereafter referred to as party A(, to fulfill any wish I, the wisher (hereafter referred to as party B), make to the spirit of the wish. Party A shall not make any attempts to harm Party B in any way, shape or form, directly or indirectly, by action or inaction. This includes, but is not limited to:
* Placing Party B in a dangerous situation, or creation a dangerous situation around Party B.
* Warping Party B's mind so that it places itself into danger.
* Warping a third party's mind so that it harms, attempts to harm, puts in danger or attempts to put in danger Party B.
 
Last edited:
Granted. Every wish you make henceforth shall be granted and it shall do you no direct nor indirect harm. Everyone else, however, will take great damage, with consequences of your wishes negatively effecting everything from individuals to entire continents. You nor your loved ones will be done harm, as that would be direct/indirect harm to you in some form, but everyone else shall suffer greatly. The world will collapse around you and those close to you, but hey, at least you won't get hurt.

I wish to be highly proficient at the use of firearm and melee weaponry of all types, without said proficiency and weaponry causing harm to myself or those I do not wish to harm.
 
Granted, but one night, you and a couple friends go out for a drink, and then as a random idea, you decide to show them your magnificent skills with weaponry. In your drunken state, you lack the coordination to realize that in your attempt to show off your skills with a knife, you stab the cashier and now the police are hunting you down for manslaughter and theft by cashier evasion (If such a thing exists)

I wish I had a wish
 
((pree sure it's just called theft))

Granted, you have a horrible sadistic wish that you can never tell anyone

I wish for someone to make me dinner (an edible, non-poisonous dinner)
 
Granted. You have an edible, non-poisonous dinner of foods you hate. Enjoy!

I wish I could shapeshift into anything I want whenever I want without harm being done to my body or having to undergo medical procedures.
 
Granted, however the power is addictive, and every time you use it, it gets harder to stay in one form for very long. Soon you change forms so often your loved ones can't recognize you, and you begin to forget what you originally looked like.

I wish iTunes could read my mind to see what song to play next on shuffle
 
Granted. iTunes now catalogues every thought you have so it can provide appropriate music. The thoughts are sold under the table to other companies, who use your psychological profile to display ads to you that are most likely to get you to buy their stuff, resulting in an endless stream of ads that makes you spend all your money on cool stuff you don't even need.

I wish I could tell what my girlfriend is upset about when she says "nothing".
 
  • Like
Reactions: Minibit
Granted, but everything you try to do to make her less upset would just make things worse. Eventually you break up with her, but this 'power' will haunt you forever. You can never be happy together with someone from the opposite sex, but hey, you can always get a boyfriend.

I wish I could have a T-Rex for a pet with arms long enough to do everything that requires hands and opposable thumbs, who's loyal to me and friendly to everyone, and would do absolutely no harm to anyone without having any of its teeth removed or giving him any disabilities, or without dumbing him down to practically a vegetable. Unless someone pisses me off. Then he could rip them into shreds.
 
Granted. You are now the proud owner of a T-rex. Everyone is very impressed with it, including several scientists who would love nothing more than to find out how you managed to get hold of a T-rex. The more annoying ones are quickly warded off by a couple of roars though.
Then, a few days later, your [insert important person here] does something very mean to you while you're drunk. In a drunken stupor, you sic Rexie on him, who of course mauls the poor sap within seconds. When you sober up, you are horrified by what you've done. In fact, you really piss yourself off...


I wish for the Genie to follow the letter and the spirit of the Three Laws of Robotics, as written by Isaac Asimov.
 
Granted. Genies are now boring as shit

I wish to be healthy
 
Granted. You are now so healthy that you can withstand any medical condition. The discovery of this causes medical labs to take you from your home and subject you various lethal diseases, and then extract many, many blood and tissue samples from you to be made into cures. They work. They work so well, in fact, that it puts medical companies out of business. In order to keep the money coming, they take the products derived from you off the market, declaring them unsafe, and then kill you so no cures can be made from you again.

I wish all corrupt politicians regurgitated fecal matter every time they spoke a lie or made a promise they never intended to keep.
 
Granted, but now Waste Management services is on strike because of all the shit they have to clean up. No one's doing any cleaning, and so, congradulations, you've created a filthy, filthy planet.

I wish all the girls were as perverted as me. Maybe that way I'd finally get in bed with someone.

(By the way, Minibit, McTavish: I think your avatars are awesome.)
 
Granted. Now all the girls in the world are just as perverted as you... meaning they want to do perverted things with other girls, and only other girls. Congratulations, you just turned the entire female half of the human population into lesbians.

I wish for a bottle of coke, non-diet.
 
Bumpness?
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top Bottom
Back