Corrupt-A-Wish

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Granted. The aliens return Elvis Presley is returned. But he's now a bloodthirsty warlord who can use his voice to control the weak-minded. He takes over the world with a swathe of beautiful sounding slaughter.

I wish I could make a wish without any negative consequences.
 
Granted. By wishing for the ability to wish without negative consequences, you create paradox, in that every wish you make has to have negative effects from at least one person's perspective. The universe then implo-
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I wish for a yacht.
 
Granted. You now have a yacht. It's at the bottom of the Marianas Trench.

I wish I could live on the colony on mars they're making for a period of one year, and bring with me one person of my choosing, and neither of us die during our stay.
 
Granted. You and your person of your choosing die due to a catastrophic failure in the heatshield while reentering the atmosphere after you leave from your stay

I wish for a delicious, fresh, non-poisoned, apple pie to be in front of me. Only I may eat it.
 
Easily granted. Its diameter measures exactly 2cm. I suggest you savor your first bite as best you can--there isn't a second.

I wish everyone on Iwaku would use perfect grammar.
 
Granted. Evry1's gramer is coroct, bt their spling is horrid.

I wish for more of those pies
 
Sure thing. Your house is filled to the brim with those pies, as is your yard and the rest of the street. When you've finally found a way to reach outside (probably by digging through an upstairs window), the world is covered by tiny pies as far as the eye can see.

I wish St O'possum would fall backward into a jacuzzi and land in the lap of a scantily clad Justin Beiber. ;)
 
Granted, but then he morphs into another Justin Beiber and the two create an army of loyal fans and take over the world. Offically making it Beiber's Earth.

I wish to know the truth about everything.
 
granted. You know the truth about everything... That has to do with Richard simons
 
Thomas McTavish said:
I wish I could live on the colony on mars they're making for a period of one year, and bring with me one person of my choosing, and neither of us die during our stay.
Click to expand...
(Sorry, I just had the perfect corruption for this one.)
Granted. You and a person of your choosing can live on the Mars colony they made in a one-year period. Sadly, due to a combination of failed experiments, the new president pulling NASA's funding and some local religious extremists protesting that man should not try to escape from God, all space activity is stopped -- including the ship that was supposed to bring you home. Blame that last bit on failing bureaucracy and you not being in any files in the system. But hey, look at it from the bright side; at least you won't die! In fact, you'll never, ever day as long as you stay on Mars. Which, given the fact that nobody even knows you're there, might be a very long time. Better learn how to survive in sub-zero temperatures and how to breathe Martian air ^_^.

St O'possum said:
I wish I didn't forget to make my wish
Click to expand...
Granted. You now instantly speak out any and all wishes you have, including hateful things like "I wish you died" and stupid things like "I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener.", each and all of which will be granted
 
Derp... I forgot to make a wish myself. Blergh.

Anyway, I wish to be a cat for one day, and not die during that one day.
 
Granted. you are a cat for one day, and not killed that day. However, you are run over the next.

I wish I could sprout black feathered wings able to carry me in flight from my back and could use them properly to fly anywhere I wanted.
 
Granted. You grow beautiful black wings that can fly you anywhere. However someone sees you in the sky and puts pictures of you on the internet. You are viewed as a fallen angel and are worshiped by satanic cults everywhere. People believe you to be a sign of the apocalypse and the war between heaven and hell because of this. As such the world is thrown into pandemonium and anarchy as people rape, steal, and kill due to the fact that people no longer fear laws because of the world ending. The government ends up finding out you caused this and kills you in horrible experimental tests to find out weaknesses against devils. Also due to the chaos across the globe World Wars III, IV, and V all happen at once and cause every human to either die or turn into horribly disfigured mutants thanks to all of the nuclear radiation. After all of this is done and you get to the pearly gates after your death you are sent straight to hell for being the cause of all of this and must forever watch Dragonball Evolution and can never sleep or eat, nor can you close your eyes as you are chained to a wall with your eyelids having been removed.

I wish that I could freely enter and exit videogames as I wished and assume the role of any character in that game and that if someone happened to turn one off while I was inside then I would safetly reappear outside of the game without any negative reprucussions. Also if I die in the game then I would also be safely put outside the game without any negative repercussions.
 
Granted. But if you don't die, you feel everything that character feels, and you cant switch characters mid game until the game program switches characters. If you get shot and not killed, that's what it feels like. Poisoned? Set on fire? Stabbed? Electrocuted? break your legs in a fall? Mauled by wild animals? You feel every little pain and pleasure the character feels, both in gameplay and cut scenes, if there are any. And if you don't save your game you'll have to repeat it once you leave.

I wish I could perfectly use and control magic for whatever purposes I want.
 
Granted. Too bad you never wished for a magic wand in which you could use magic with. After all according to Drippy, Lord High Lord of the Fairies, all wizards need a magic wand to use their magic with (Shameless Ni No Kuni reference). Meaning while you can use magic you lack the proper equipment for doing so. Congrats. You have a useless power.

I wish for a cookie. But I won't eat the cookie. I just want a regular, plain cookie that is only five inches in diameter and two inches tall.
 
Granted. Here's your plutonium-chipped cookie made out of uranium, exactly five inches in diameter and two inches tall.

I wish to be immune to radiation.
 
Granted. You will never get super powers because you are immune to the radiation that gives them. Also when the third world war ends the world in a nuclear holocaust you will be the only human left, easy prey for mutant zombies or super powered freaks.

I wish for the world to end right now this very instant.
 
[error]
Beep. We apologize for the delay. The world ended, so we had to send to Magrathea and order an Earth 3. Without the beings from another dimension paying for it, though, we decided to sue you for funding. Intergalactic Court ruled in our favor, so you're responsible for all the expenses incurred in creating the new Earth. It may take forever for you to pay off, but we're very patient. And we'll sell your body parts as necessary to make up the difference. While you're here, could I interest you in a totally plain sugar cookie? I saw it laying in the road and thought you might want it--it's the last one you'll be able to afford.

I wish I had the acrobatic ability to walk on my hands.
 
Granted. Your hands are now your feet and your feet are your hands. So now you either have to eat with your feet hands or eat in the same manner a monkey does by using your hand feet. Being seen as a freak of nature you are taken in by the government for research, but them not being able to find anything they decide to amputate your hands and feet, giving you prosthetic hands where your hands should be and prosthetic feet where your feet should be. Congratulations, you got nothing out of that wish except for painful government testing and amputations.

I really wish that someone would join my RPs (and that the RPs would not die at all until they officially reach their end)
 
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