M
MiNaGi
Guest
Original poster
"I know I shouldn't have run away... I'm sorry, I really am. It's like a fear planted deep inside me, moving my body without my consent. I wish I could pack it away in a box and throw it into the sea." He smiled bitterly and got on his feet, focusing the one eye that was visible on her. "But you can hit me if you would like. It's not like it's the first time someone has done that. If you're that frustrated over me, then take it out on me. I have long ago stopped caring what happens to me. Foolish indeed... I've been unable to hold on. I wanted friendships, and somehow to be allowed to love someone, even with a body going against common beliefs. But I was wrong all along. Apparently, I'm not allowed to love in this world. So that's why, if you want to beat me up, go ahead. I won't strike back." He looked absolutely hopeless as he was standing there, with his side leaned against the tree. He had probably gone mad already, and maybe he was just waiting for a diagnose. For someone to tell him that he was messed up, that he was sick, that there was some cure to being a freak.
Somehow, he knew that this wouldn't be the case. He'd just end up getting himself hurt again. He wanted to speak up and tell her something else, but instead he just took hold of his own arms, pulling himself off the tree and standing with his back against her.
"... If it isn't obvious already, I'm weak. I'm a coward. I can't face things directly. I run away before anyone manage to learn my name and get under my skin. I live in constant fear. Fear that if I let anyone see what kind of person is hiding behind my physical body, it will be used against me. Sounds a bit paranoid, now that I get to say it out loud..." He sighed hopelessly and let his hand run through his hair, as the wind blew his long coat as if he was enveloped in black smoke. "... And if not today... one day, I'll run away again."
Somehow, he knew that this wouldn't be the case. He'd just end up getting himself hurt again. He wanted to speak up and tell her something else, but instead he just took hold of his own arms, pulling himself off the tree and standing with his back against her.
"... If it isn't obvious already, I'm weak. I'm a coward. I can't face things directly. I run away before anyone manage to learn my name and get under my skin. I live in constant fear. Fear that if I let anyone see what kind of person is hiding behind my physical body, it will be used against me. Sounds a bit paranoid, now that I get to say it out loud..." He sighed hopelessly and let his hand run through his hair, as the wind blew his long coat as if he was enveloped in black smoke. "... And if not today... one day, I'll run away again."