"If you insist..." the man stands up, leaning his guitar on the bar for a moment.
"...A man enters a small 'adult toy' shop. Later that night he will be leaving town on business so, being the loving and caring husband that he is, he has decided to get his wife a toy to keep her company while he is away.
Seeing nothing that he thinks would be suiting on display, he approaches the owner himself. 'excuse me, sir, but I was wondering if you had something a little more spectacular'. 'No, I have only what you see on the shelves'. Sensing that the owner isn't being entirely truthly, the man insisted on asking again and again.
After a few minutes of this, the owner finally caves in and brings the man to the back room. There he shows the man a rectangular black box and opens it. Inside is a pretty normal looking dildo. Seeing that the man was unimpressed, the owner shouted 'VOODOO DILDO, THE DOOR'. Suddenly, the rubber penis flew into the air, spun around, and thrust itself into the keyhole of the door, ramming it endlessly. Now seeing the amazement on the man's face, the owner shouted 'VOODOO DILDO, THE BOX'. The dildo returned to the box and the owner closed it. Now impressed, the man quickly purchased the item for a couple hundred dollars.
That night, he returned to his wife. Showing her the box and explaining what was inside it. He said 'just say voodoo dildo, and tell it where to do you, and it'll rock your world'.
When the husband was gone, the wife decided to give it a whirl. 'VOODOO DILDO, MY PUSSY' sure enough, the rubber cock flew out of the box and started to pound away, giving her orgasm after orgasm.
But her husband never told her how to turn it off.
So, the wife was forced to get in car and drive to the hospital, all the while having repeating orgasms. Seeing that the woman driving the car was clearly distracted, a local police officer quickly pulled her over.
'No, officer, I can explain' she started. 'You see, there's this voodoo dildo fucking me right now and I can't get it out so I'm driving to the hospital to get it removed'.
'Hahaha,' the officer laughed at the ridiculous story.
'Voodoo dildo, my ass.'"