The Sleepy Tavern

[Alis_Audāx]

Help Wanted Waiter (1) or Waitress (1)​ ​ Working Nights Courteous and good guest contact 2 Meals included Residence in Tavern is allowed: (45 coins a month) Payment: (125 coins every 2 weeks) Room for growth: (possible promotion to Lead Host) Speak with Leah Dawnson if interested. ​

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Leah placed her cup down "Zeth keep an eye on the bar for a moment. I'll be back in a bit". She wondered into the kitchen and shuffled around trying to find the parchment paper she had written up a while back. Once finding it she quickly made her way towards the board hanging right by the entrance. There she put up a the paper with a note.

"Emma, get ready to make the updated announcement!" she shouted over towards the stage.

 

[Alis_Audāx]

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((( This event will continue in the background until we get at least 3 dirty jokes from active characters. Thank you and enjoy..What do you all think of these little add in. Are they worth it? Just trying to keep things going. :D )))

 

[Fissian Ericson]

"If you insist..." the man stands up, leaning his guitar on the bar for a moment.

"...A man enters a small 'adult toy' shop. Later that night he will be leaving town on business so, being the loving and caring husband that he is, he has decided to get his wife a toy to keep her company while he is away.

Seeing nothing that he thinks would be suiting on display, he approaches the owner himself. 'excuse me, sir, but I was wondering if you had something a little more spectacular'. 'No, I have only what you see on the shelves'. Sensing that the owner isn't being entirely truthly, the man insisted on asking again and again.

After a few minutes of this, the owner finally caves in and brings the man to the back room. There he shows the man a rectangular black box and opens it. Inside is a pretty normal looking dildo. Seeing that the man was unimpressed, the owner shouted 'VOODOO DILDO, THE DOOR'. Suddenly, the rubber penis flew into the air, spun around, and thrust itself into the keyhole of the door, ramming it endlessly. Now seeing the amazement on the man's face, the owner shouted 'VOODOO DILDO, THE BOX'. The dildo returned to the box and the owner closed it. Now impressed, the man quickly purchased the item for a couple hundred dollars.

That night, he returned to his wife. Showing her the box and explaining what was inside it. He said 'just say voodoo dildo, and tell it where to do you, and it'll rock your world'.

When the husband was gone, the wife decided to give it a whirl. 'VOODOO DILDO, MY PUSSY' sure enough, the rubber cock flew out of the box and started to pound away, giving her orgasm after orgasm.

But her husband never told her how to turn it off.

So, the wife was forced to get in car and drive to the hospital, all the while having repeating orgasms. Seeing that the woman driving the car was clearly distracted, a local police officer quickly pulled her over.

'No, officer, I can explain' she started. 'You see, there's this voodoo dildo fucking me right now and I can't get it out so I'm driving to the hospital to get it removed'.

'Hahaha,' the officer laughed at the ridiculous story.

'Voodoo dildo, my ass.'"

 

[PrincessLala95]

Mara Grace McBride Mara grinned as she listened to Leah's suggestion. She was quiet for a moment, a contemplative look on her face, and her hazel eyes glittered at hearing the gentleman's offer. She did love to sing, and she was often told that she had a great talent for the art. It intrigued her that Leah was intuitive enough to have figured that out on her own. She hadn't said anything to indicate it, yet the bartender had still figured it out herself. She lifted the tall glass before her up to her ruby lips, taking a long sip of her drink as she considered the offer. "I think that it would be a pleasure to perform here tonight," Mara said finally, once the man had returned with his instrument. Her eyes fell upon the guitar and she couldn't help but to admire it. It was a stunning piece of work, and she wondered whether it was magical or anything like that. She looked up towards the man and smiled. "Do you have any particular songs you'd like to perform? Or perhaps you could just play and I'll sing whatever comes to mind? Your choice," she told him softly, hazel eyes sparkling as she ran a hand lightly through her bright scarlet hair.

Lance Kennen Camp Lance still sat in his seat, a narrow smirk on his lips as he looked about. The bartender - presumably the owner, from the way in which she snapped at the lazy employees and offered the elf woman free board and drinks in exchange for a performance - was amusing, at least to him. He enjoyed watching the way she ruled her tavern with an iron fist, knocking the waiters into line whenever they fell short. His dazzling emerald gaze fell upon one of these unruly waiters and he gave a wave of his hand, motioning for the waiter to come over as he was ready to order. He had decided to start with a drink, and if he opted for a meal later on, he could always call the waiter back. Lance lifted a hand and ran it through his dark hair, which was thick and straight and relatively long. The bartender, it seemed, had proposed a game in which patrons compete to tell the best dirty joke. Lance was fond of dirty jokes, and as the guitar man who had propositioned the elf woman with a performance together stood to take a swing at telling the best joke, Lance's ears perked up, intrigued and interested in hearing what would be said. As the man's joke came to an end, a smirk crossed Lance's face.

 

[Fissian Ericson]

The man grinned as he delivered the punch line and bowed to the rest of the bar, pleased with the reaction he had received. He then returned to his seat and picked up the guitar.

"I think it would be best if I we simply improvised. After all, the most beautiful songs are the ones that flow out naturally, like a river." The man said poetically.

He then began to play. He used his thumb on the low E string, plucking out a baseline while simultaneously creating a percussive sound by slapping his thumb against the wooden bridge of the guitar on the downstroke. He plucked out a beautiful, soothing and yet exciting chord progression with his first and middle finger, and used his ring finger to establish a beautiful lead melody for Mara to sing.

While playing, this one man and his guitar somehow managed to sound like a complete, four man band. The song he played was melodic and interesting, invoking both a desire to dance along and a feeling of contentment and comfort in all who heard it.

 

[aleksei]

"Dirty jokes?" Gabriel turned and cocked his head, smiling slightly. "I work in the business." He stood and leaned against the bar, pushed his ponytail back and set his glass down. "Three men are vacationing at a ski lodge." He smiled slyly and looked around, winking at a man with dark hair. "There aren't enough rooms, so they share the bed. In the middle of the night, the man on the right wakes up and says 'I had a vivid dream I was getting a handjob!' The man on the left wakes up and strangely, says he's had the same dream as well. The man in the middle wakes up and laughs and says, 'That's funny, I had a dream I was skiing!'" He grinned and sat back down.

 

[pug]

Julian wasn't well-versed in the realm of dirty jokes, especially in the month of December. However, she tried. Not even lifting her head up off the table, she cried out. "There was once a man from Nantucket..." and a majority knew where it would go from there.

 

[CrimsonFang]

Zeth gave Leah a mock salute. "Will do captain." He went around to the empty tables making sure each one was spotless before moving on to the next. This was arguably one of the more interesting nights at the Tavern. The customers were especially fond of these contest. He leaned against the bar taking in each contestants joke and watching the waiters to make sure things were in place. Then he remebered the guy that he had been supposed to take an order from. Zeth's eyes widened then he made haste towards the table. "Im sorry for keeping you waiting sir is there anything I can do for you." Shoot he did not want the Tavern to lose any business because of his careless mistake. His tail flicked back and forth rather nervously.

 

[PrincessLala95]

Mara Grace McBride Mara gave a light nod at hearing his words. She was a little put-off by the concept of a competition dedicated entirely to telling dirty jokes. She had always found such jokes childish and rather immature, but it seemed to be something that entertained humans - and the non-humans within the tavern - so she opted not to say anything. She listened quietly as he began to play his guitar, amazed by the beauty of the melody as his fingers danced over the strings. Her hazel eyes fluttered shut, hiding beneath thick, dark lashes as she focused on the music, which was at once soothing and exciting. The feeling that ran through her body as she listened to it put her at ease, and her red lips parted and gave way to song. Her voice was soft and sweet, sounding out clearly through the main room of the tavern. The words were in an Elven tongue that was probably unfamiliar to all those in the room at the moment, but the song was the only one that came to mind as Mara listened to the sweet music that the man played. It was a song that she remembered from her childhood long ago. She remembered her mother singing it to her on many occasions. It had a melody that flowed with the tune coming from the guitar, despite the fact that Mara doubted he knew the song - it simply worked, and she was glad to be able to share the peaceful and charming song with everyone there. It was a love song, but that didn't matter.

((I'll post with Lance in the morning, NEED to get to bed lol))

 

[Alis_Audāx]

The jokes made her giggle and at times followed by a small snort, her hand would cover her mouth hoping no one heard. There was merriment and fun in the tavern, the jokes were just what was needed to get the blood boiling in the room. But once the tune of the guitar started to play followed by the elvish song made the room settle down into a calming state. Many of the male patrons cheeks were pink from the mix of alcohol, laughter, and the sight of a beautiful elvish female sing to them.

Leah found a seat and plopped down, crossing her legs and wrapping her arms over her stomach. Though her elvish was rusty, she was able to pick up a word here and there. But that was enough for her to appreciate the love the clung to the words. With finally being allowed to sit and the music, put her in a state of stillness. Her mind fogged and shifted as the music continued to float around her. Memories of a time before the tavern danced around in her mind.

"So peaceful.." she muttered under her breath. She did not regret the tavern and all it's chaos. However, this stroll down memory lane was a nice one this time.

 

[aleksei]

Gariel smirked when the bartender finally came over. He lifted up his glass and tilted his head a little. "Another vodka on ice, darling." He winked and laughed, setting his glass back down and leaned back, closing his eyes to listen to the music.

 

[Fissian Ericson]

The guitar playing complimented the elven singing beautifully. The man could feel the nostalgia entering all of the people in the bar, and seeing that all within the bar were becoming so relaxed and lost in their own memories, he entered that state as well. His deeply mysterious and intriguing golden eyes closed and his head tilted back slightly. For just a moment, the at peace expression on his face wavered, showing in that fraction of second what could've been seen as sadness and regret.

Then, his attention was caught by his d string being almost unnoticeably flat. His expression changed to a more focused one while he quickly turned the tuning gear, tightening the string into the correct pitch, all the while maintaining a consistent rhythm and flow.

 

[pug]

She cackled mindlessly at her own joke, a habit of hers she didn't really like breaking, similar to reciting the days and time. She contemplated getting another whisky, then shook the thought off. She couldn't break a promise to herself. That'd just be impolite. "The manager of this place seems pretty neat."

 

[Domotoro]

A husky figure strolled into the tavern, giving a loud *hurrumph* as he rested on a bar stool and raised a meaty hand.
"A drink, something strong." The character asked in a gruff tone, lifting the hood from his thick head and revealing his bull like features. The burly minotaur looked around the occupied spaces of the tavern, looking to see if any familiar faces were about.

 

[CrimsonFang]

The man lifted his glass to Zeth "Another vodka on ice, darling." He winked, laughed then proceeded to close his eyes and lean back to enjoy the music. Zeth chuckled, and took the glass. "Coming right up darling." He went to the bar poured straight vodka gave it a swirl and walked back to the man. "Anything else don't be afraid to call. My name is Zeth so just give me a shout and I will be here." Before he turned he asked "Should I have a room prepared for you."

 

[Fissian Ericson]

As the song came to a gentle end, the man relaxed his whole body, almost slumping over his guitar. Then, he turned to Mara, smiled warmly and shook her hand. "Thank you for making the night an interesting one. My name is Deorum, by the way." He calmly walked over to the case for his instrument and tucked it away safely. Turning towards the interaction between the man and the bartender, he raised his arm as to hail service.

"When you've got a moment, Zeth, I'd like to speak to you."

 

[aleksei]

"Oh, yes. Don't feel like going home." Gabriel laughed and smiled, lifting his glass and tipping it at him. He tipped back and drained it pretty quickly before leaning back and taking his ponytail down.

 

[CrimsonFang]

Zeth pushed the same persistent silver lock of hair behind his ear before just giving up on it all together. He was in a good mood, he was replenished and extra charged. His attitude could allow for a joke or two. "Trouble with the Missus?" There was a smirk on his face as the man let his hair down. He saw a waitress walking past and put his hand out so it landed on her shoulder, to catch her attention. Oh jeez he could not remember her name for the life of him. What was it Alice? Lilla?...

"Hey Sa...rah?" He mentally breathed a sigh of relief when she nodded her head in confirmation. He made sure to look right into her eyes and gave her a subtle smile. Couldn't over do the level of charm because then we'd have a bunch of hormonally overloaded broken waitors and waitress's in the Tavern and Leah would kill him. "Can you get someone to ready our guest here an overnight room please." This kind of behavior came natural to him. So much so that he didnt even notice how he slightly tilted his head to the side to add to the effect.

Sarah instantly turned a deep shade of red and nodded her head to say yes a bit frantically, her eyes slightly widened as she stood there not saying a word. Oh this was so fun. He did not need it as he had satiated his hunger earlier but he still enjoyed it. "Thank you Sarah." He gave her a gentle nudge and smiled as if to shake her out of a stupor and nodded at her then turned back to the man. "Your room shall be ready soon."

Zeth spoke to Leah from where he stood." We're getting kind of busy we'll need more help if it keeps up like this, we have another customer but I am being called." He nodded over to the Minotaur that had just walked in. "I'll be right with you in a moment."

"You called for me?" Zeth spoke to Deorum. "How can I be of help?"

 

[Alis_Audāx]

 

[Alis_Audāx]

"Ah! yes thank you Zeth." She stood up, brushing her hands on her thighs as she weaved her way through the tables. "Don't tease the staff to much Zeth. Last thing I need is a bunch of wilting people. They may have built up some resistance to your...skills. Oh what am I say? Just don't mess with them to badly. I don't need a repeat of what happened when you first started working here." She gave him a look that expressed to what she was referring to. More than half of the staff fainted the moment Zeth first walked in to the bar to work.

Leah made her way behind the bar, picking up a rag and cleaned up what she could as she approached the new individual at the bar. "Oh wow! now aren't you an impressive sight." she grinned looking straight at the Minotaur. Leah had a habit of speaking her mind.

"Something strong to drink... is there anything in particular you have in mind? Or would you like me to surprise you?" she leaned back against the back wall of the bar, crossing her ankles.