I'm moving on Saturday and it will either be the best thing to happen to me in years, or it'll be one of the worst decisions of my life.
See I, a massive home-body with major anxiety, will be moving into a share-house where I don't know anybody. With all my past roommate experiences, I've only ever lived with friends before (which has been great for the most part, with one notable exception) because it was easier, safer...comfortable. I'm about to majorly step out of my comfort zone here and I'm so fucking scared.
Deciding to move to a different city a year ahead of schedule at the age of 12 for personal safety reasons? Sure. No problem.
Choosing to stay instead of moving with dad and step-mom and living on my own from the age of 17? Can do.
But living with strangers? Nope. Can't do it. Too much. I'm asking way too much. I'm too high-strung and shy for this
On the one hand, this could be great! The landlord is great and my new roommates seem nice enough; the place is closer to things, it won't take me an hour and a half by bus to get anywhere decent. Which means I'll be more motivated to go places, get out there, meet people! Roommate A's right - we've fallen into a rut in the last two years, change will be good.
Right? God I hope so
But, on the other hand, this might just turn into me hermit-ing away permanently, too anxious and nervous to do anything but sit in my room, scared that doing anything will put their attention on me, that this will go so so badly somehow.
HOWEVER, right now, anything would be better than continuing to live with the third member of this house. I'd rather live with strangers then live another year with her (plus a friend of hers, since Roommate A is also moving out this month), which, as Roommate A pointed out, is saying a lot coming from me.
My solace through this whole thing is that A's said I can always crash at his new place if things do get bad and my brother will be close by. The fact that A's also agreed that in a year or two, depending on where our lives are, we could always try living together again - this time with a 2-bedroom and no third roommate, or with my brother - is also a giant relief and quiets some of the anxiety, not gonna lie.
Still want this weekend to go smoothly and be over though.