Corrupt Wishing Well of Doom!

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Granted, but you forget which language is for which race.

I wish I didn't have to breathe air, and still live.
 
Granted, now you don't have to and in fact can't. You therefore cannot speak and don't have a sense of smell.

I wish I had a photographic memory.
 
Granted, but a pickpocket took them as soon as you walked out of the bank.

I wish hats were indestructible.
 
Granted, but they're also parasites.

I wish I would live forever.
 
Granted, but the older you get, the older you look.

I wish that time stood still.
 
granted, but you stand still too

wish I could run like a kid again
 
Granted, but it stops just when you have a forthcoming sneeze tickling your nose.
Granted, but you also keep falling on your face and scraping your knees like kids.

I wish that I had the last two books of the series I am reading.
 
granted but you find out the butler did it...again, gah how boring...

wish I had more time...a thunderstorm is coming >,< gotta go for bit :3 sorry
 
Granted, but an evil mad scientist leaps into your room and steals the time.

I wish Breadfish were our national flag.
 
granted but it reeks of rotten fish

wish I had a larger bed
 
Granted, but unfortunately the bed does not fit through your doorway.

I wish that my eyes glowed in the dark.
 
granted but you live on the sun

I wish movie tickets didn't caust so much
 
Granted, but now as they are so cheap, they are always sold out for every single film you want to see.

I wish my plants bore fruits this year.
 
Granted, but they're parasitic and intelligent.

I wish I had another TV.
 
Granted, but it runs on high-octane handwavium, which you don't have, so you aren't any further ahead for it, it just takes up space.

I wish I could calculate in head with the speed of a good computer.
 
Granted, but every time you try to calculate something, you end up trying to find the end of pi.

I wish I had more friends.
 
Granted, but they are always busy, so you are always sad because you constantly miss your friends.

I wish I could just sleep through my entire life.
 
Granted, but you're tormented with nightmares about underwear.

I wish I had a puppy.
 
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Granted, but he chews up all of your shoes and books whenever you aren't at home, and sleeps exhaustedly after all that exercise whenever you are, so you don't get to play with him.

I wish I had an angel. (Now it got stuck in my head.)
 
granted but it doesn't like you and makes your life a living hell

I wish I had a kitty
 
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