Corrupt Wishing Well of Doom!

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Granted, but you're the one who has opened it and a snake lashes out and bites you.

I wish I could teleport at will.
 
Granted, But you disperse during teleportation sending your body parts scatering accrose the globe.

I wish i had a Bugati Veyron.
 
Granted, but you drive it by a mob of hipsters protesting capitalism and are mistaken for a millionaire. You car gets trashed and your insurance doesn't cover hipster mobs.

I wish my term papers could write themselves.
 
Granted, but then your whole house gets full of hundreds and hundreds of copies of those term papers.

I wish I get to enjoy this site!
 
Granted, but every time you enjoy it you slowly loose sanity. And sleep.

I wish my OTP was canon (◡‿◡✿)
 
Granted, but they're considered the worst pairing by most of the fanbase.
I wish I was a real boy!
 
Granted, but your stuck as a boy forever, reliving puberty over and over and over again.

I wish it was my birthday.
 
Granted, but it's your day of birth! Meaning you're not intelligent enough to understand...well anything...
I wish I was bullet proof.
 
Granted, say goodbye to your nose.
I wish I could please my girlfriend.
 
Granted, but now she is dead. (◡‿◡✿)
I wish i had some cheesecake.
 
Granted you have a cake made out of the stinkiest cheese ever.

I wish I was good enough.
 
Granted, you're good enough to break out of your jail cell, but not enough to escape from he jail.
I wish I could fly.
 
Granted, but you fly too close to the sun and your wings melt.
I wish I was a ninja.
 
Granted, but the army of Ninjas recruit you to do overly intense training to the point you puke your brains out and possibly die from lack of relaxing.

I wish my hair was longer.
 
Granted but it comes to life and strangles you and then takes over the world.

I wish I never had to deal with drama.
 
Granted, but now your life is an obnoxious comedy staring Charlie Sheen.
I wish I was rich.
 
Granted, but the police shoot you down the moment you rob the bank dry.
I wish I could grow stronger the angrier I got.
 
Granted, but you grew too big when you were angry, and the government blew you up, because they mistook you for Godzilla.

I wish I had a summer job.
 
Granted. Enjoy your stay at uranium mines!

I wish I had all the books in the world.
 
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