Unwinding the Immortal Coil

Kina blinked at Feng, and a slow grin spread over her face. "I could get you some, yes," she offered, "But you should apologize to Rare, first."

Rare's gaze darted to Kina. "You're going to use him for a cheap laugh, aren't you?"

"Only a little."

Pale brown eyes narrowed into a glare at the Chinese woman. "Feng, I strongly advise you escape while you can." With that, she stood and exited the table. She stared at Kina for several seconds, waiting, before she spoke. "Kina," she sighed. "Don't take advantage of him. Let him go."

Kina sighed, then looked toward Feng. "Am I taking advantage of you?"

Rare grabbed Kina by the back of the jacket and pulled with one finger. Kina yelped, windmilled, and fell onto her rear gracelessly. Once she was no longer trapping Feng, Rare offered a hand to the drunken man. "Let's go. You're going to regret it if you let Kina egg you on."

A voice off to one side shouted "At least Kina won't tell him he should fuck the Lady! They might be a good fit!" A slam echoed around the bar as another Hunter slammed the speaker's face into the table with a snarl.
 
"Applegize? What did I do?" Feng spluttered, not that it mattered as Rare seemed to be leaving anyways. Hah, apology averted. Though then she decided to be some kind of crusader of the drunk and supposedly defenseless. Annoying.

"As if I'd let her, take adavantage of of me!" Feng said, sounding offended just by the mere thought that anyone would be able to take advantage of him. "I'm an adult. A very very very very old adult. I know how to adult stuff, and I know what I'm doning."
 
One eyebrow lifted dangerously as Rare stared down at Feng, but instead of growing angry, she took a deep breath, then sighed. "Very well. If you insist. Make your mistakes." She straightened, brushed off her dress, then turned and walked away. "I will be in the library—Ah! Brock!" The name came out happily as she left the bar's doorway and rounded out of sight. "I was just excusing myself from Kina and her newest victim to come find you."

A blonde young woman with a large chest—far too tall to be Jade, and significantly less busty—gasped and rose suddenly from her table. "Omigawd!" She snagged a small, pale blue book from her table and abandoned her friends suddenly as they simply laughed at her shiny-eyed departure.

A male Hunter grabbed the fleeing blonde by the arm. "Faida, leave it."

She looked up, a pout on her lips. "Aww, but... Rock!"

"They're allowed their privacy sometimes." The male turned Faida around, and she huffily returned to the table, where her friends teased her until she ordered a bottle and took a sip when it arrived.

Kina rose from the floor and grinned at Feng. "Still want that second drink?" An evil plot began to take form in her mischievious mind.
 
Feng had no interest in what went on around him, he was too busy not caring about all the shit that went on in the world and his own life. If he knew it felt this great to be drunk, he'd have tried mixing a deadly doze a long time ago.

"Second, third, tenth, I want as mannny as u can get." Feng chuckled before loosing the grin and looking suspiciously at Kina. "ur smilin too much, ur up to somethin and I'll, I'll figure it out eventully." He said warningly, though with his spluttered speech, he probably didn't sound the least threatening.
 
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"I always smile, FengFeng," Kina asserted as she rose from the floor, then offered a hand. "Want to go where that drink is cheaper? I will keep them coming once we are there." Her beaming grin didn't dim even a moment as she took his hand and led him, easily supporting his weight with an arm about his waist.

She led up and down several halls before they came to a bar similar to what Feng had grown used to—a place without fancy booths, with tables instead, and sawdust on the floor to sop up any vomit or piss. She led him to the bar, and a shot of that "magical" drink appeared in front of Feng. "Here you go!"

Here, in this bar, more males tended to frequent than females. It had a whole different feel to it—one of mischief and far more tolerance of Kina's sort of 'fun'.

"Kina!" a voice boomed, "He's gotta earn his first drink here, you know that!" A giant man in the back stood and laughed. "Boy's in debt now!"

Kina giggled an covered her mouth daintily. "Oopsies."
 
Feng went along with the woman while still murmuring about how suspicious her grin was, even though he had no intentions of not accepting the drinks. The logical side of him that would have turned around the moment he became suspicious seemed to be completely offline at this point. He could realize and complain about something being wrong, but actually doing something about it? Pff, no way, he wanted drinks.

"Now thisss a bar! No stupid fancy pants place, just raw an shitty with great drinks!" Feng said almost cheering as they entered the kind of bar he was more used to. A bar was meant to be shitty so you would be greatfull once you returned to your everyday life again. You could be stuck in those fancy places for an eternity if you weren't careful about it.

Feng laughed as Kina seemed to play off some sort of 'Oops, I forgot' act. "I knew you were up to somethin, an I was riiiight." He seemed to be happy about being right rather than being angry over her trickery. The glass was empty before anyone could even blink. "I dunt do depts, I wud luuuuve u force mi t pai t baack." Feng didn't even notice how slurred his speech was after that second drink, nor did he realize that picking a fight wasn't the best course of action. He whom had always stayed out of fights and just watched the stupid drunks getting themselves beaten up was now being just as unreasonable as them. "Cum on. Fit me bra."
 
The male Hunter began to laugh—a big, heavy laugh. "Whoa there!" He almost couldn't speak at all from laughing. "You're gonna get hurt, little boy!" He clapped Feng on the shoulder, hard enough to nearly send the smaller man to his knees. "Don't try to start a fight you've no chance to win, kid!"

He spun Feng around in a circle, then grinned. "See, we don't do fights in here," he explained as he stopped the spin with a hand on both of Feng's shoulders. "We do dares. You wanna stay where the drinks are, yeah?"

His grin grew. "I'm sure Kina has a suggestion, since she brought you."

"Me?" Kina covered her mouth in mock shock. "Nothing of the sort. You are more creative, besides." She leaned back against the bar.

"That so? Well then, young man, let's get your first drink earned, and then you can earn your second."

He looked around, then smirked and turned Feng toward a group of women at a table together. "Go after the pink-haired one."

While some wore pink somewhere on their body, only one of the women had pink hair—pink everything, actually, and she wore none of the hallmarks of a Hunter. She had no coat, no dagger, and barely any clothing—what clothing she did wear was translucent and left nothing to the imagination. Certainly, her fat and her abundant landmasses were on display.

"Ooh, that might be a foul," Kina murmured with a glimmer of mischief in her eyes, "I don't think he can handle that."
 
"Seriusy? U call tha a dare? Is spposed t be thins u absulutly dun wan do. U sur his better than u t dis?" These two clearly didn't know how to make a good dare. Gosh, at least ask him to seduce a dude. Even though he wouldn't mind that either, they didn't know that.

"I cancan.. Can defnivitaly hand that u onion woman." Feng told Kina, not letting her get the better of him, at least he thought he didn't.

He rose fast, and was almost immediately down on the floor. "I'm am no drunk, I ust trip." He said before anyone got the chance to say anything. Of course he wasn't drunk, the world was just spinning a little, so of course it was hard to walk. He was able to get up again and walked in a very non straight line towards the pink haired woman.

As an instinct, Feng brushed back his hair just to realize he still didn't have any. Damn, half his marktrade was gone.

"Hey tha pinky pai, di ur mom fuck a cottononed candi? Cas thas how crazy ur hare is." In his mind at that moment, it sounded like a hilarious joke that could have been used as an awesome ice breaker, but even non-drunk him who couldn't go one minute without offending someone understood that it was the worst joke ever to start a conversation with.
 
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The monochromatic pink woman took a moment to realize he was talking to her. Slowly, she turned her head to look up at him. Her eyes were pink, her skin was pink, and even her sheer clothing was pink.

"Eugh."

With that simple utterance, she slid her chair away from him.

"It's infected with parasites. Disgusting."

The rest of the table erupted into half-drunken giggles.

"Go, shoo, go out of my sight to get eaten by your weird parasites." The pink woman shooed at him with both hands, disgust across her features.
 
"Parashit?" Feng raised an eyebrow. "Wha u taken bout? Ima cleen u knooo..." As he leaned slightly to the side, he lost his balance and almost fell over, but was able to catch himself and clumsily get back up again.

"U kno lil pinkhead, u dun ha to bi rud just cas u were unfrutunate to got a bicket af paint all ova u. Maybi u shud wash ap next time befo goin out. No uan wanna to look at ugly paintins." Technically speaking, the man had only told him to go after the pink-haired girl, not that he had to get her to like him. He was better at being his old rude honest self anyways.
 
The woman stared at him for several moments, then turned to one of her companions. "Sorry. I'll get you a new one."

One drink splashed into Feng's face, alcohol strong and drink chilled. The second drink, stolen from her friend, was a bright blue frozen slush. That drink, the pink woman dumped down Feng's pants with shocking strength.

She thrust the cup at his face, ready to shatter it against him, but her arm stopped short as someone grabbed her wrist.

The woman stared at Feng, pink eyes almost appearing red as she drew back her lips in a silent snarl as she breathed through gritted teeth.

"No weapons," the pink woman's friend reminded as she pried the cup from the pink woman's hand.

That same hand, now emptied, dropped as the pink woman began to regain her composure. She straightened and looked at Feng as though he was dung. With a shove, she walked past him. A couple of the other women from the table departed after her with shouts of "Wait, Ianna!"

A shot glass found itself in Feng's hand once she was gone.
 
A cold liquid found its way onto Feng's face. "Thi tase cheep." He remarked after licking his lip, and it could definitely not make him drunk. Before he could even react, another drink found its way onto Feng, this time in his pants.

He took a deep breath as the cold found its way onto some very sensitive parts of his body and his body automatically started to crumble together, probably to warm himself up better. Even so, Feng was laughing. "Wuman ha no senses of humur."

The woman was at this point ready to assault the man, but her friends stopped her just in time. Not that he would have minded some hits as long as he got an extra drink for it. Soon the woman was gone and Feng had a drink in his hand.

Stapling over to the other two, Feng grinned. "Cee. I knu haw to go afta wimen." He said before emptying the glass.
 
The male Hunter just laughed. "Not the way I meant, but you certainly do." He shook his head as he spoke, a grin unable to leave his features. "You're either a troll or the worst flirt imaginable."

Kina just giggled, one hand over her mouth as though she was dainty as she sat perched on her stool, legs to one side of its legs in what looked like a dainty pose, despite her jeans and converse. "You should have seen him with Lady Jade."

"Weren't you being held captive during that?"

"I have ways." Kina's enigmatic smile only brightened as she looked at Feng. "So, FengFeng, what do you want to do next to stay drunk?" Her keen-eyed watching didn't see him coming down anytime soon on his own—perhaps she'd accidentally happened upon the one drink that could get him, or perhaps there were others. Regardless, this promised good fun for the future.

Riiiight up until someone made a drunken dare that she really, really did not think was wise at all.

"Do anything for a drink, huh, Feng? I dare you—dare you ta..." The owner of the voice was at the bar, snickering quietly between his words. "Betcha a hundred gold coin you can't seduce Lady Jade!"
 
Feng had no idea what the man meant with a troll, but hey, it didn't sound that bad. "Wha not both?" He grinned, not even caring to ask what that word meant.

"Wha u takin bout wiman? I didn' do nutin wi tha girl." Feng told Kina. What did she think she had seen them do during all that commotion? "Wha Wan do? i..." He seemed to be thinking hard about it without getting any ideas, until a random voice seemed to give him ideas.

"I be a th..thousan coin I ca seduce any wimin. Specally tha annyin wimin. Just sai wear shi is an Ill sedis her pants off." Feng said boldly, not stepping back from a dare.
 
"Better not, FengFeng," Kina stepped forward, "You don't even have a thousand coins." A smirk lit on her face—it seemed like the best way to dissuade him. Lady Jade did not need his bumbling drunk ass trying to get into her pants.

"Hey, if the lady doesn't retch, I'll cover that thousand coins!" This speaker, a young woman, grinned viciously.

"Heeey!" The better laughed. "That means—means he failed seducing, right? Cuz she... she hates men?"

Those sober enough to know better exchanged glances.

Kina forced a smile anyway, despite her worries. "FengFeng, she's not your type!" After all, she wasn't his sister.

Never mind that! Kina forced her attention to the present and rested her hands on Feng's shoulders. "I'll give you a drink if you seduce him instead." She pointed to the better with a sly smile.

"Two if you seduce Jade! Two and... and a thousand gold coins!" The man laughed aloud, and the other drunken fools nearby joined in with their eager offers of more shots. "It'll be funny watchin' you try!"
 
Kina had a point. He didn't have any money. Though in most time periods, there was always the option of paying with your body, no matter if that meant work, sex or actually giving body parts, Feng was ready. Though it didn't seem as if he'd have to as another person offer to pay up. This night was getting better and better.

"Of cuss she aint ma tip. Week n' slooow. Bu tha don mean am cant sedooce her uan night." Feng refused all of Kina's advice. It just wasn't fun doing the right thing when you were drunk, and while drunk you wanted to have fun all the time. Then Kina proposed a slightly easier game that could also be fun, and it wouldn't involve him seducing the most annoying woman around. Men were usually easier to get into bed in his experience anyways.

Of course before he had even responded to the proposal of a switched target, another proposal came in for Jade. "To? Ima do it fa to drunks!" Feng didn't even mention the money cause that wasn't important in his mind right now.

"Sarri China, I gut drinks ta win." Feng grinned. "Wear iz tha woman? Ima nead ta win thes quickley!"
 
Before Kina could object or try to bid higher, a thick hand covered her mouth, and its owner, the better, laughed loudly. "Her room or her office!"

Excited drunks, too far gone to realize this was a bad idea, herded Feng out the door, and the better darted after the group with a laugh.

Behind the group, Kina, stunned at being so suddenly grabbed by a hand that smelled like piss, simply stared, then began to rub her temples. This was bad. This was very, very bad.

"Lady Jade?" she called.

No answer. Kina bit her lip. What a time to be asleep. Kina began to run. She doubted she alone could stop a pack of drunks feeding off each other's excitement. Kyo was in the lounge—if she could get her help...!

The hooting drunks led Feng first to Jade's empty office. A stare from a tall man with white hair who stood within eroded much of the riotous group, but the damage was done.

Jade emerged from a door at the back of the office, brows furrowed and lips pouting. She rubbed sluggishly at one eye with the heel of her palm, then squinted at the open doorway of her office. One cheek was reddened and indented with the pattern of woven fabric. A drool spot pasted some stray hair to her face.

"Is there an emergency? I heard—" she swallowed as she fought a yawn, "Shouting."

Just like that, Feng was abandoned.
 
Under normal circumstances, Feng would have hated being dragged and pushed around in a corridor for such a stupid purpose as to find a woman to seduce, but now he actually thought it was kind of funny. If only he could see how stupid this was as he normally would.

Soon Jade emerged in a door and in the same moment, the crowd suddenly vanished. Did they use magic to pull that off? In his drunk state, Feng truly believed it.

"Yeeeaaah, tha guiz wa bits xcited. Pff, wha bad drunkens, am I rait?" Feng explained the shouting, not realizing the irony of his own words. "Wha u in bet so erly? U shud go to tha bar an haf a drank. Cant work a tha time, rait?" That line probably worked much better when you weren't so drunk you couldn't pronounce a single word properly.
 
Jade closed her eyes and wrinkled her nose as he began to speak. With a little wave underneath it, she shook her head slightly. "It was only a nap. I have not been able to rest well of late. I do appreciate your concern, however."

Had she been more awake, she might have recalled that Feng didn't really care for anyone or anything, not even himself. She wiped some grains of dried sleep from her eyelashes.

A drink did sound nice, at least.

"Perhaps later. I have a few more tasks I should finish today—"

"Lady Jade, you should go to bed—in an actual bed. You've been up for two days working," the white-haired man said.

Jade's shoulders sagged. "I need to finish updating the records and assign high-priority missions..."

"Lady Jade." The man's tone grew firm.

The girl remained quiet for several moments before she began toward the door. "Yes, Father Ortega." As she walked, it was a slightly toddling pace.
 
"Wo-wo-woo. Big duuude i rait, no neeeed fo wok. Rest ai best medicicine. Bu a drink befoe bet will hep you rest bette." Feng butted into the conversation. "Sum wine o vodka wie hap u relaks." Even through his drunkness, someone could actually believe that he genuinely cared for her well being.
 
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