The Sword of Weathers. (OOC)

[Shade_XY]

I'm gonna "borrow" a few creation of an artist I think is quite good. http://tyshea.deviantart.com/

 

[Shade_XY]

Now we only need @bellator 's character sheet as well as @Sir Pinkleton 's

 

[bellator]

The race of my character is-uh complicated. Idk.
I plan to make her a hybrid or something.
Since I want to make her have wings on her head (on pic so- angel something? idk >.>) with elvish blood
but Idk it could always turn to a mutation or disfiguration from practicing spiritual energy or her master did it to her idk.

i can always change it^^

 

[Shade_XY]

The race of my character is-uh complicated. Idk.
I plan to make her a hybrid or something.
Since I want to make her have wings on her head (on pic so- angel something? idk >.>) with elvish blood
but Idk it could always turn to a mutation or disfiguration from practicing spiritual energy or her master did it to her idk.

That could work. I can imagine elves changing their appearances using magic. Their ears most likely. It kinda difficult to stroll in a non elvish settlement when you are an almost immortal beautiful elf with high intellect and knowledge. Therefore, they will change their looks. Since elves are usually live long lives, I imagine them knowing more of the ancient language than most races. But they keep their knowledge jealously.

I took this idea from Eragon.

I can imagine a half elf that have been transmuted to have wings on her head. But the use of the wings, I don't know. They can't carry you. It would only attract unwanted attention. Perhaps she lacks knowledge on the words of power, thus she cannot re-change her appearance.

 

[bellator]

That could work. I can imagine elves changing their appearances using magic. Their ears most likely. It kinda difficult to stroll in a non elvish settlement when you are an almost immortal beautiful elf. Therefore, they will change their looks. Since elves are usually live long lives, I imagine them knowing more of the ancient language than most races. But they keep their knowledge jealously.

I can imagine a half elf that have been transmuted to have wings on her head. But the use of the wings, I don't know. They can't carry you. It would only attract unwanted attention. Perhaps she lacks knowledge on the words of power, thus she cannot re-change her appearance.

yeah that could work. I'll leave the explaining when I make her CS
For the wings, it'll be blank for now but I'll think of making a purpose for it as we go along.
It'll be an annoying eye-catching accessory as for the moment.
= plans to make a character a burden in the journey but necessary piece xD

 

[bellator]

for the magic, do I have to write specific spells or general ones?
If I have to write specific ones, can I write the ones she would generally use for now?
and update as it goes along or-....

 

[Shade_XY]

for the magic, do I have to write specific spells or general ones?
If I have to write specific ones, can I write the ones she would generally use for now?
and update as it goes along or-....

Perhaps it would be best that you write the spells that she is used to casting. Or spells she already know. If there are too many to list down, write down the most important ones.

 

[Kazama]

Okay. I'm going to ask you guys to make adjustments to your character sheets. Tighten your belts, because critique hurts. I'm expecting a 70% casualty rate in people leaving the roleplay. Brace yourselves, the shitstorm's a-comin'.

 

[bellator]

Perhaps it would be best that you write the spells that she is used to casting. Or spells she already know. If there are too many to list down, write down the most important ones.

okay. ^^

Okay. I'm going to ask you guys to make adjustments to your character sheets. Tighten your belts, because critique hurts. I'm expecting a 70% casualty rate in people leaving the roleplay. Brace yourselves, the shitstorm's a-comin'.

hahaha, oh god. I'll be preparing my tomb then.
I don't expect I'll be that good since going off for a year or two xD

 

[Kazama]

Are you guys ready? Cause this is gonna hurt.

 

[Kazama]

Prepare yourselves, there will be blood. I'm sorry in advance.

Einws gets surprisingly nothing. Your bio's nice, down-to-earth and not a soap opera. Your character has had some trials, but they're well adjusted and they bested their trials realistically. Good job, you weren't Batman 2.0. Although keep an eye out for an image to use for character appearance and add it if you can. Images are nice. You get a banana sticker.

Shard, some stuff I want to point out. Your character has done a lot of shit for someone who's just 20. At 20, you've barely scratched the surface of your life. I want to make it clear that at that age you are very inexperienced both with life and skill. It's often said that no one is a master of anything at 20. I'm willing to let the dance thing go since he's done it since youth, but at that age, he wouldn't be much of a fighter, at least when compared to older, more experienced fighters. I'm telling you now so you're aware of that, you're not a master martial artist when you're not even old enough to drink (at least in 2015). You will know how to do it in theory, as you've got the book smarts and practice, but you haven't applied these skills in the real world, at least not much. You can either keep that in mind while roleplaying, or make him older. Twenty-five/Twenty-six is good, but you can balance out age and skill however you see fit. Just keep it real. This is a cautioning, not a scolding. No one likes the inexplicably skilled youngster, so don't be one. You get half a banana sticker.

Majem, unorthodox, but otherwise fine. Your defender's a bit of a sob story, just letting you know. Remember that talk we had about sob stories? It's fine like this, just keep it under control. Characters don't have to be Othello to be interesting. It kinda feels like the defenseless kid was added in and then run over for giggles since he's mentioned and then never brought up again. Freakin' terrain hazards, man. Kid shoulda buffed his Reflex Save. Besides that, your characters are good-to-go. Just keep the melodrama in check. A little is good, but being a constant sad sack makes you annoying. Your worker's fine the way it is. Remember that and you're golden. Nice pictures by the way, classic fantasy is a classic for a reason. You also get half a banana sticker.

Bellator. Don't take this personally. And I'm sorry in advance. You interpreted the "keep the melodrama under control," as "kill fucking everyone". Don't take this personally, but your character needs a lot of adjustments. Her childhood was basically her going from one beating to another only to be beaten in transit because she missed her 2:30 beating. An individual who's gone through that is going to have serious mental issues. I don't mean a bit of depression, I mean severe schizophrenia as an escape mechanism, incredible suicidal tendencies, chances of being a complete sociopath are astronomical, in addition to basically being a walking time bomb waiting to shoot up a library. Unless you plan to play Jeffrey Bahmer, I'd revise the childhood part. There is no way you'll be a sane, well-adjusted person with that kind of life. Those are the kind of people that commit murder/suicide and no one hangs around with because they seep crazy through their pores. Childhood like that = serious repercussions; so either revise it or play a vegetable. Don't take any of this personally, it's just that your character seems way too far fetched to even exist.
Secondly, you've got the same problem with age as Shard does. Twenty years isn't much, you're barely starting your life. So you'll either have to be inexperienced and somewhat unskilled (as in you know the book smarts, but you haven't applied these skills in life). So follow the advice I gave him. Either get older or remember you're not a master at such a young age. I know there are exceptions in the real world, but none of us are Stephen Hawking (although I wish I was... then again, maybe not, the whole paralysis thing... but he is basically the smartest man alive... I'll have to sleep on it). Also, explain the elf hybrid thing. My knowledge of Half-Elves comes from D&D, so there, everyone slightly dislikes them cause of the whole impurity thing, but they're also basically regular humans with pointy ears. If you don't have a reason to be a half-elf stick with full elf. It makes things easier. Same thing with the feathers. If you have to make excuses for something to exist, then it means this thing doesn't even need to exist at all. If you need to have the feathers, they can just be decorative or something. Kind of like how Native Americans put feathers in their hair. So, make adjustments. Unfortunately, I cannot award you any banana sticker.

I already apologized, it's not personal. In my defense, the rules were there at the start in the template. Remember the murderous ninjas who got murdered by murdered who was then murdered back?

I'm not allowed to comment on Shade because Shade is the GM and to make it up to everyone, you can all tear apart my character sheets once I finish them. I am giving you all the mighty power that comes with the banana sticker. Use it wisely.

If anyone has questions, PM me or post them on this thread. I can't and won't tell you what to write, but I can point out what road you want to be on.

Don't crucify me, please.

 

[Danny]

Prepare yourselves, there will be blood. I'm sorry in advance.

Einws gets surprisingly nothing. Your bio's nice, down-to-earth and not a soap opera. Your character has had some trials, but they're well adjusted and they bested their trials realistically. Good job, you weren't Batman 2.0. Although keep an eye out for an image to use for character appearance and add it if you can. Images are nice. You get a banana sticker.

Shard, some stuff I want to point out. Your character has done a lot of shit for someone who's just 20. At 20, you've barely scratched the surface of your life. I want to make it clear that at that age you are very inexperienced both with life and skill. It's often said that no one is a master of anything at 20. I'm willing to let the dance thing go since he's done it since youth, but at that age, he wouldn't be much of a fighter, at least when compared to older, more experienced fighters. I'm telling you now so you're aware of that, you're not a master martial artist when you're not even old enough to drink (at least in 2015). You will know how to do it in theory, as you've got the book smarts and practice, but you haven't applied these skills in the real world, at least not much. You can either keep that in mind while roleplaying, or make him older. Twenty-five/Twenty-six is good, but you can balance out age and skill however you see fit. Just keep it real. This is a cautioning, not a scolding. No one likes the inexplicably skilled youngster, so don't be one. You get half a banana sticker.

Majem, unorthodox, but otherwise fine. Your defender's a bit of a sob story, just letting you know. Remember that talk we had about sob stories? It's fine like this, just keep it under control. Characters don't have to be Othello to be interesting. It kinda feels like the defenseless kid was added in and then run over for giggles since he's mentioned and then never brought up again. Freakin' terrain hazards, man. Kid shoulda buffed his Reflex Save. Besides that, your characters are good-to-go. Just keep the melodrama in check. A little is good, but being a constant sad sack makes you annoying. Your worker's fine the way it is. Remember that and you're golden. Nice pictures by the way, classic fantasy is a classic for a reason. You also get half a banana sticker.

Bellator. Don't take this personally. And I'm sorry in advance. You interpreted the "keep the melodrama under control," as "kill fucking everyone". Don't take this personally, but your character needs a lot of adjustments. Her childhood was basically her going from one beating to another only to be beaten in transit because she missed her 2:30 beating. An individual who's gone through that is going to have serious mental issues. I don't mean a bit of depression, I mean severe schizophrenia as an escape mechanism, incredible suicidal tendencies, chances of being a complete sociopath are astronomical, in addition to basically being a walking time bomb waiting to shoot up a library. Unless you plan to play Jeffrey Bahmer, I'd revise the childhood part. There is no way you'll be a sane, well-adjusted person with that kind of life. Those are the kind of people that commit murder/suicide and no one hangs around with because they seep crazy through their pores. Childhood like that = serious repercussions; so either revise it or play a vegetable. Don't take any of this personally, it's just that your character seems way too far fetched to even exist.
Secondly, you've got the same problem with age as Shard does. Twenty years isn't much, you're barely starting your life. So you'll either have to be inexperienced and somewhat unskilled (as in you know the book smarts, but you haven't applied these skills in life). So follow the advice I gave him. Either get older or remember you're not a master at such a young age. I know there are exceptions in the real world, but none of us are Stephen Hawking (although I wish I was... then again, maybe not, the whole paralysis thing... but he is basically the smartest man alive... I'll have to sleep on it). Also, explain the elf hybrid thing. My knowledge of Half-Elves comes from D&D, so there, everyone slightly dislikes them cause of the whole impurity thing, but they're also basically regular humans with pointy ears. If you don't have a reason to be a half-elf stick with full elf. It makes things easier. Same thing with the feathers. If you have to make excuses for something to exist, then it means this thing doesn't even need to exist at all. If you need to have the feathers, they can just be decorative or something. Kind of like how Native Americans put feathers in their hair. So, make adjustments. Unfortunately, I cannot award you any banana sticker.

I already apologized, it's not personal. In my defense, the rules were there at the start in the template. Remember the murderous ninjas who got murdered by murdered who was then murdered back?

I'm not allowed to comment on Shade because Shade is the GM and to make it up to everyone, you can all tear apart my character sheets once I finish them. I am giving you all the mighty power that comes with the banana sticker. Use it wisely.

If anyone has questions, PM me or post them on this thread. I can't and won't tell you what to write, but I can point out what road you want to be on.

Don't crucify me, please.

Actually, after seeing the pictures Shade posted, I settled on playing a Dryad. I really liked their appearance ^^. Since age isn't much of a factor for them, I made Moon 125 which should be reasonable for an elf.

 

[Shade_XY]

Damn. I was waiting for the comments on my character's part. Please comment on it. It might improve my writings and knowledge.

I think I should give my part of opinion as well. Different people have different interests and pet peeves.

I thought all of your character's were good. Yes they are pretty young which makes them inexperienced, but I don't see them being finest in what they do. They may be quite good at it, but not the best. Bellator's character, Aeron Nikephoros, is still an apprentice and it is stated there in the character sheet. She may know the meaning of ancient symbols but she may not know the pronunciation. The Doctor would need her to translate text in the ancient dungeons and such. I don't expect her to be good in battle, but I hope she is. If not, no matter.

Although Majem's character's history, Belros's history, is sad. His dad being a drunk is a bit cliche. Still, it works. Uninteresting, but works. The part about his friend did surprise me. His friend dying is somewhat like a twist to the story. You expected his friend to live with his help, living happily ever after, but he didn't. I somewhat entertained me. And Belros's picture. It looks like wolverine from X-Men. I like it. What I find irritating what the choice of color for his font. The light green font with light grey background makes it difficult for me to see the words written.

And Shard's character, the cat, Moon Sha'ven. When I heard the the name, I laughed a bit. A shaven cat. Yeps... As Sir Pinkleton mentioned, he is a bit young. I see him as an immature cat. It is stated that he is just starting to set out his adventures. When he was a child, his crew was hired for assassination. Not him. I could accept that. One think I find strange is why would the guild accept a newbie for such a dangerous task? The chances of him getting eaten by a T-rex is so so so high.

 

[Shade_XY]

Actually, after seeing the pictures Shade posted, I settled on playing a Dryad. I really liked their appearance ^^. Since age isn't much of a factor for them, I made Moon 125 which should be reasonable for an elf.

Nawww I really like the cat T-T I want more anthros... You're broke my heart. I unloved your character sheet.

 

[Danny]

Nawww I really like the cat T-T I want more anthros... You're broke my heart. I unloved your character sheet.

Aaaw, sorry...Didn't mean to break your heart...*hugs*

 

[Shade_XY]

one thing I forgot to comment on bellator's character, Aeron Nikephorus.

Gems are expensive. Where did she get that kind of money?

 

[Majem]

@Sir Pinkleton
Yes, sob story I know. But let me explain why I did what I did. I had Belros as a character before in a few roleplays, but never really fleshed him out until the Pathfinder RP he's currently in. He has the "Ironhide" trait, hence the tough skin he explicitly mentioned, but also the "overprotective" drawback (lowers attack when an ally falls unconscious), which stems from the fact he saw his best friend die before his eyes. I kinda just had to write him in to get that overprotective characteristic (because if he only ever got bullied, why would he care about other people?) but I also didn't want to expand on it too much as to keep the sobbing to a minimum. Believe me, the original story was a lot more sob-worthy.

I'm fine with half a sticker, tho.


@Shade_XY
I'm sorry for the green font, I noticed it now that inside spoilers it really is hard to read, but on the usual background it shouldn't be much of a deal, same with Leo's brown. I use colours so you can more easily find speech inside walls of text, but I can change it if you want.
And, uhm. Belros' father wasn't a drunk, that's Leo's father. Belros doesn't know anything about his father and to be honest, I hastily wrote Leo's backstory, so if it's not that good, sorry. HIS original backstory involved him murdering a guard and having to flee his hometown, so I guess that's better now.

 

[Shade_XY]

@Sir Pinkleton
Yes, sob story I know. But let me explain why I did what I did. I had Belros as a character before in a few roleplays, but never really fleshed him out until the Pathfinder RP he's currently in. He has the "Ironhide" trait, hence the tough skin he explicitly mentioned, but also the "overprotective" drawback (lowers attack when an ally falls unconscious), which stems from the fact he saw his best friend die before his eyes. I kinda just had to write him in to get that overprotective characteristic (because if he only ever got bullied, why would he care about other people?) but I also didn't want to expand on it too much as to keep the sobbing to a minimum. Believe me, the original story was a lot more sob-worthy.


@Shade_XY
I'm sorry for the green font, I noticed it now that inside spoilers it really is hard to read, but on the usual background it shouldn't be much of a deal, same with Leo's brown. I use colours so you can more easily find speech inside walls of text, but I can change it if you want.
And, uhm. Belros' father wasn't a drunk, that's Leo's father. Belros doesn't know anything about his father and to be honest, I hastily wrote Leo's backstory, so if it's not that good, sorry. HIS original backstory involved him murdering a guard and having to flee his hometown, so I guess that's better now.

Ops. I fell ashamed for mixing characters up. Sorry :P

Now, shame my character as well! Shame him with your critiques!

 

[Majem]

@Shade_XY
I would, but I can't. He's basically an anthro version of another character of mine. Seems like a standard slightly mad scientist (can't have genius without a little insanity) story.



I'm not good with critiques.

 

[Shade_XY]

@Shade_XY
I would, but I can't. He's basically an anthro version of another character of mine. Seems like a standard slightly mad scientist (can't have genius without a little insanity) story.



I'm not good with critiques.

Then we shall wait for The @Sir Pinkleton.

As for @Shard , there are no Gypsies in the world we are going to create! Change that part! >:-(