G
Gat
Guest
Morning? Its 3 o'clock in the afternoon man!Oh, and good morning to everyone! =3
Morning? Its 3 o'clock in the afternoon man!Oh, and good morning to everyone! =3
Well, it doesn't have to be an offensive piece. It could be anything else you can think up. It was just my suggestion. If you want to go with another background trait, defensive or utility one, that would be well within bounds :3Yep, I'm still here and even have my sheet done, with the exception of a "unique 2" offensive piece, which I will likely think up today. Nevertheless, I will get the coding done right now and put the sheet up, so that you may critique it. I developed the slave aspect on my own accord and I do hope that everything will be acceptable. If you find any mistakes, especially at the end of the biography, please note that I finished it at half past 1 at night and my brain was half asleep at the time XD
Oh, and good morning to everyone! =3
One can always use more WAAAGH! :D Oh wait, you said O-R-C orc. Well, I suppose I can hope (slightly) that the Bilgerat Bride doesn't end burnt to the ground before we're done.Nice! I will have to go to sleep now, but I got some work done on my draft. Expect to hear from me tomorrow! Thanks for the acceptance. Think I will be playing an Orc, possibly Half-Orc character. Have some of the details figured out and spent my points. Onto the background when I am more conscious.
Thats going to cause problems. :pBob is actually quite the social carpet and is especially interested in playing with birds, but hates all felines, due to one trying to use him as a scratching post once.
When I mention "ancient times", I mean the time period when mostly everyone was starting to discover mana little by little, though before it became a tool of war, but the Tair ancestors weren't aware of them, since they were living in isolation. It took them a longer time to come in contact with their inner mana, in comparison to, say, humans, to the point they would have lagged behind, but nature compensated for that by granting them a quicker understanding of mana, once it was reached. I supposed that the evolution of mana awareness and usage has spanned over thousands of years, but if that's not the case I will change it.-Your race claims to have been, in an ancient time, utilizing mana. This is a direct contradiction to established lore.
The whole formatting messed up for some reason when I pasted the sheet from Google Drive and I didn't have time to change much before I-Please fix your paragraph formatting. It is standard on forums to have a double space between all paragraphs. Not some. This is to make up for the fact that we do not have a first line indent to clearly demonstrate the beginning of a paragraph.
My mistake! Sorry -.-"-The Day of Mana occurred 260 years ago. It was not caused by a thirst for knowledge. It was war, which was brought to an abrupt halt by this event.
I meant the former great and powerful kingdom of Mercuil when I wrote "demise".-Mercuil did not have a demise. It is still intact, but scattered.
A detail that can be fixed.-Enruba suffered changes on more than just the coastlines. There are changes within the deserts as well, but not as dramatic as those witnessed within other countries.
It was a metaphor.-A curse of mana? I thought it was pretty clear that Enruba worships mana.
Whether official or not, there would undoubtedly be competition between the Viziers in the Emperor's court.-The vizier would have no upward momentum to go. The Grand Vizier is the only position higher asides from the Emperor, which is inherited.
I'm curious as to why. Fabrics can change their thickness and, if they had a simple consciousness, they could easily increase or decrease the distance between the threads, changing their patterns even. That's why it's a "magic carpet" XD.-Lose the ability to change thickness on the rug.
I am well aware that Persia had a culture different from that of the Caliphate's, since my own culture is connected to theirs and I have read up some information regarding both Bactria, where I believe my ancestors came from, and Persia, who eventually absorbed Bactria. As unbelievable as it sounds, I happen to like Arabic names. Call it a phase or whatever you wish, but recently I was interested in the structure of their many names and decided I wanted to use it for my character, something I had never done before. Hope it's not too much of a bother.-This is more my own nitpicking, but you have taken to a lot of Arabic themes and even the naming structure. Why? Did you think I meant Iran when I say Persia? Because I meant ancient Persia that had a different culture and such than what the "Modern Persia" would have. They didn't even speak Arabic. o.o
Unfortunately, it seems that I have indeed failed to present these abilities by using my own words, something I truly wished to do accurately. Excuse me for the confusion I have caused.-Your first trait has several different traits rolled into it. You need to scale way back on it. Depending on what you choose to go with, you have the following to fix.
-What is "The Soaring Vulture" really, I mean, how exactly does it affect magic. I need to understand what sort of spells it makes easier or more difficult, because if you have an ability that I don't actually know what it affects... Yeah.
-On your eye ability, you have a catchall ability here. I would ask that you choose to either have your ability cover 1) mana, be able to see mana reserves and predict spellcasting 2) physical, be sharper at noticing the weakness of things 3) spirit, see the emotional and mental
While the beasts part is fair enough, none of the rest was information available to me by the time I wrote my sheet.-257 years ago boats came? Well, that's ~3 years after the events, give or take. However, wounds would still be fresh from the previously ongoing war. Most of the coastal cities will have been overrun. The one left, Selhalune, would be full of militant warriors who were just fighting tooth and nail, proving they could take on the mana fiends and would have already been underway on their walls for some time now, if they were not complete.
-Speaking of, Enrubian slavery is for criminals or indentured servants paying off debts for a contractual period of time. They would not go to another country, a free country, and enslave their people. It is a system of repayment, either to society or your debtor.
-Mana potential is not something that can be bred. It is not a physical attribute.
-I am completely rejecting the breeding program interests with beasts from a nation.
Haha. Well no promises. Still a work in progress, got some more stuff done. I shall be back tomorrow night.One can always use more WAAAGH! :D Oh wait, you said O-R-C orc. Well, I suppose I can hope (slightly) that the Bilgerat Bride doesn't end burnt to the ground before we're done.