Say The Words I Need To Hear

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Jason narrowed his eyebrows when Ann told him that he could enter her room if he really desired that much to find out what kind of troubles she'd been harboring, then shifted his gaze downward as his hand reached out for the doorknob and gave it an experimental twist; much to his utter shock and self-frustration, the door had been unlocked the whole time. However, given that it was more of a trivial matter at this point in time more than anything, he quickly cast that thought aside as he pushed the door open and had a look inside at the surrounding area. It was more of a mess than it had ever been, disorganized beyond belief and carrying a decaying sort of scent that undeniably made his stomach turn. But in an even worse state was Ann herself, who sat in her chair with stained and crumpled pajamas, unkempt hair, gauze which lined up both of her arms and bloodshot eyes that pierced straight into his soul even when they were void of any expression.

She looked absolutely horrible... and seeing her physical state honestly made Jason terrified on the inside.

"... What the hell have you been doing...?" he asked quietly, just barely able to find his voice as he tried to stomach what his eyes were putting on display for him to see.

(Yeah, I can see that)
 
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Ann could hear Jason feeling frustrated that the door had been open. 'I told him it was open didn't I?' She thought, her gaze shifting to him as he opened the door. He seemed a little in shock of how messy and kind of gross her room had become. To her, it was almost homey like, or her own little safe cave. Sighing, Ann pushed her hair aside, looking back out the window. "I have been getting work done. Projects, drawings, that sort of thing." She mumbled, tilting her head slightly so it rested on her arm. "I didn't have a reason to leave, so I didn't." She added, pulling at little invisible hairs on her arm. Jason obviously wasn't ready for what she had been doing, which is why she hadn't been telling him that she had stayed up for nights wondering why she even existed at all. Relationships couldn't fix everything.
 
Jason honestly wasn't sure of what to say. Where to begin saying things. His facial expression very much conveyed the mortification that he was feeling, unable to mask it as he looked around at the gut-lurching mess that now surrounded him. It was so bad to the point where he literally had to fight to keep his food inside his body; the sight, the smell... Ann had let everything fester into a rotten amalgam of all sorts of things while he had been away, apparently not even able to be stopped by Clair. He'd never felt so paralyzed by shock before, and it took him a long while before he could gather his bearings and manage to think a little more coherently again. "T-The gauze... What is that... there for...?"
 
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Ann sighed as she looked at Jason, seeing the look on his face. He was disgusted, fighting to keep the very good in his stomach down as he looked around her room. She didn't smell much, it felt almost homey to her. It was comfortable, it felt safe. Seeing as he had asked about the gauze, Ann peeled back the gauze a bit, revealing the long red scars for a few moments before covering them back up and looking back at her work. She tried to distract herself from the chastising lecture she was about to get from him that she knew was coming, to hopefully soften the blow.
 
"... My God." Again, Jason was speechless. It was almost as though he'd been caught in the midst of a very bad nightmare, but he knew full well that this was all too real. It was all absolutely overwhelming in scale even for someone like him... but it was all a grisly reality nonetheless. One that he had failed to stop before it had a chance to start the moment that he had made the decision to walk out on her all that time back. "How long have you been doing this...? Are those the only ones?"
 
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Ann sighed, setting down what she was doing and looking back at him. "This has been happening for a long time. I just didn't do it as often as I have. So no, they aren't the only grim reminders that even you can't fix someone like me." She mumbled, curling up on herself yet again.
 
Finally, after having been fixed in such a terrified expression for so long, Jason's facial muscles relaxed and he slowly grew more accustomed to this situation. Yes, it was still very horrid, but this was just what he was going to have to deal with for the next little bit. At least until he brought Ann out of the darker depths of her mind in which she had kept herself under shelter in. "You should have told me this before," he mumbled, taking a few slow steps closer toward her. "We could have talked things through. Gotten through it together, like we always do."
 
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Ann could hear Jason slowly trying to cope with her massive amount of self destruction, before taking a few steps forwards towards her. Heaving a deep sigh, Ann looked forwards. "How could I have told you? You would have thought I was crazy. A freak....." She mumbled, letting her gross hair flop over her face as she looked down. "Even if you didn't you would have wondered why someone like me could hate myself so much, and you would just blame yourself for not seeing." She mumbled, knowing he would blame himself somewhat for what was happening.
 
Jason couldn't help but stop for a moment when Ann told him about how he probably would have worried so much if not think that something was wrong with her if she had told him about her issue earlier on in time. Of course, she still thought about him more than she thought about herself. She was always so concerned about his viewpoints on everything, afraid that perhaps there'd be a day when he'd look down upon her with disapproval for something she had done. By the looks of things, those fears of hers had only gotten worse now that there was the commitment to deal with of being his girlfriend. "... That's all weight I can handle. You should have just trusted me to help you," he told her in reply, beginning to walk closer towards her again and progressively closing the last bit of distance that separated them. "Just look at how bad this has gotten, Ann... The next thing I know, this could end up driving you to suicide. I don't want that."
 
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Ann could hear his thundering heartbeat getting closer until it stopped just behind her chair. She felt disgusted with herself yet again, for thinking so selfishly and for being so wrapped up in her own world to think that he couldn't handle these kinds of things. "I could hear you holding in your lunch when you got in here. I look awful. I smell awful. No one would ever want to be around this." She mumbled, letting her breaths become a bit shakier, a bit heavier as tears leaked from her eyes. "I am such a weakling. I can't do anything by myself...." She mumbled, curling up tighter around herself. "At this point suicide might be a better option for someone like me, but I can't. I can't because you are there, and I can't disappoint you more than I already have with everything that is going on....." She mumbled.
 
A countenance that was a mix of both sorrow and remorse settled upon Jason's facial features as he stood just behind Ann's chair, gazing down at her as she coiled up tighter around herself and put herself down for not being able to manage anything on her own. She was making it so much harder than it needed to be on herself... all because she didn't want him getting concerned about her. But he still wished that she would have opened up to her sooner so that he could do his best to help her out, and stop her depression from getting far worse than it already had. "You never needed to do this alone," he told her gently while reaching out and placing his hand against her shoulder, giving it a light squeeze with his thumb. "I've always been here for you. And I always will be."
 
Ann could feel nothing but shame for herself as she curled up, feeling the hot tears spilling over her eyes. How many times had she just curled up and cried in the last few weeks? More than was healthy probably, but it hurt her to worry her friends this much. Letting his hand squeeze her shoulder lightly, Ann took in a sharp breath, her quiet sobs filling the space around them as she curled up on her self, wishing it would just disappear.
 
Reflexively leaning forward into Ann's hunched back, Jason slowly slid his arms around her body and rested his chin against her neck, flexing his fingers a little and diverting the circulation of some of the stale air surrounding the area so that it would all be fresh for the both of them to breathe while they remained close with one another. "It's not too late to fix you," he whispered. "We can all still help. Me... Neil... Clair... We're here for you. Especially me. I love you, Ann, and I really want all of this to work out between us."
 
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Ann let Jason's hands slide around her as she leaned into him, letting his warmth surround her. Ann let out a feeble whimper as she leaned into him, her cheeks moist as she pressed them against his chest in vain as she tried to slow her tears. It would be a long and bumpy road for all of them but hopefully it would work well, because she cousin afford for it not to. "Please..." She mumbled helplessly, closing her eyes.
 
(Ah, life has gotten awfully troublesome for me as of late...)

Ann didn't have to say anything more beyond the one word that she managed to utter silently for Jason to know that she desperately wanted to be saved from the darkness of her misery. It tore him apart on the inside, knowing that he'd been unable to help her sooner... He just had no idea before now that she'd been suffering so much because of so many things. "Everything will be okay. I promise," he murmured in reply, planting a gentle kiss on her cheek closer to the corner of her lips.
 
Ann let herself curl against Jason as he held her close. The warmth radiating from his body was doing much more than it needed too to soothe her fears. Jason was probably the only thing making her feel secure at the moment. Letting her sobs take hold of her, Ann's hands grasped at his shirt, wanting to hold him even closer.
 
Jason's body melded naturally into Ann's as she clutched at his shirt and pulled him nearer to her as she began to let loose with her sobs, allowing the familiar feeling of relaxation to come to him as he held her against his chest. His mind felt so much more at peace, knowing that she had finally opened up to him and was taking solace in his arms once more. He felt comfortable knowing that she was putting her trust in him to protect her when she was weak.
 
Ann's sobs slowly came to a halt after a long time, and Ann pulled away from his chest slightly. His shirt was soaked with large droplet sized stains, and Ann sniffles a bit, rubbing her puffy eyes. "Thank you." Ann mumbled softly, leaning her cheek back against his chest and pulling her knees up so she could cuddle against his warmth.
 
Jason let Ann have all the time she needed to pour her emotions out to him, staying completely silent for the next little while as she cried into his chest. In a way, it was a wonderful moment, for her to admit weakness and give in to a warm embrace. It had been a while since the two of them shared a moment like this. When she thanked him for comforting her, he made a small hum of acknowledgement. "Welcome," he replied simply, letting them remain where they were for a sense of temporary serenity. "There's nothing I wouldn't do for my best girl."
 
Smiling slightly, Ann let herself lean into Jason, the small smile sticking to her face as she cuddled into him. He let her stay where she was, which was a blessing for her. It had been a while since she had been able to find herself relaxed enough, and soon, Ann found her eyelids slipping closed, her weight leaning a little heavier against Jason as she slowly lulled into a deep slumber.
 
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