[Samuel x Roman]

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r o m a n
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"Green," said Roman.

He and Samuel were sitting on Roman's bed in his Roman-esque bedroom, playing UNO, which was surely going to ruin their relationship when Roman slammed down these three draw-fours he had picked up over the course of the game. They had twenty one pilots softly playing from Roman's phone beside them, and they were snacking on the buttery popcorn he had prepared earlier.

It was a comfortable scene but there was a giant elephant in the room, and it wasn't the anxiety Roman had been experiencing every time he walked into school the last couple of days. Everyone knew and he couldn't change that. People would occasionally tease him for the video and make dog jokes to him but with Samuel by his side he was able to mostly ignore it.

No, the elephant was Samuel and the obvious sadness that hung around the beautiful boy.

"How are you feeling?" Roman asked in a tone that indicated he wanted to help. "You know you can talk to me about anything, right?"​
 
"No, not after you pulled that" Samuel joked and started picking up cards, "I will never trust you again"

He had tried his best to be there for Roman in school, and hopefully, he could make what seemed like a really horrible experience barable, but the whole walking around constantly being sad thing was starting to take its toll. He probably looked as tired as he felt and he wasn't really surprised when Roman once again asked how he was feeling.

Samuel didn't really want to ruin the moment, they were having fun and he hadn't even been thinking about it, which was really nice. He had said to Roman he'd talk about it, though, and he had convinced himself it would be better if he did. And he really wanted to feel better. So he let out a heavy sigh and started talking as he tried to figure out his next move.

"...I don't know, It's kind of a lot" Samuel wasn't sure if it really was a lot, but it felt like it was, "Like, I know I have said I'm okay, but I don't think I am?"

He finnished talking with placing a green, blue and finally a red seven on the top of the deck, trying to get rid of as many cards at once as possible even if it already was pretty apparent he would lose.
 
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"We should probably talk about that," Roman suggested as he rearranged his remaining five cards in his hand.

It hurt to know that Samuel was hurting. This was such a shitty situation and they were both affected, but in very different ways and because of very different reasons. Roman was publicly being humiliated and that sucked. But Samuel had it worse, his entire world was shattered. His father, someone he loved, had disowned him like it was nothing.

"Please don't worry about preserving my happiness and making me feel better," he requested as he put down two skips and a draw-four. "Blue. I want you to feel better, babe, and that's not going to happen if you don't tell me anything."

Roman paused the music so they could hear one another speak. "What exactly is bothering you and can I take to it with a baseball bat?"​
 
Samuel managed a small smile at Romans usual threat to hurt whatever was bothering him, even though he had to pick up another four cards.

He was quiet for a moment, staring at the many cards on his hand, as if trying out what to do next again but instead trying to figure out what to say. He could feel his heart beat slightly faster, his breath becoming heavier. He recognized the feeling of almost crying from every time he let his thoughts spiral before going to sleep, which was when he couldn't stop himself from thinking about.

"...It's like I've lived my entier life trying to get his approval" there was no reason to clarify who he was "and with him dismissing it just like that... Like it all meant nothing. It kind of makes it feel like my entire life meant nothing"

It felt weird putting the thoughts that had been going around in his head ever since the trial into words. To finally say them out loud. He put down a random blue card, with all the ards he had on hand he could probably do something more drastic to turn the game, but couldn't really focus enough to plan it out.

"And that makes it really fucking hard to stay happy" he took a shaky breath "Because everytime something does manage to make me feel somewhat okay I still can't help but ask myself if it just makes me happy because I knew it would have made him proud"

There was probably more details he could get into, but now he had said it at least.
 
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Roman licked his lips and frowned over his cards as he listened to Samuel speak. He hated Manuel Ortega for what he did to his son. His beautiful, wonderful son that had wanted to be himself, but had also wanted to make his father happy. It made Roman angry to know that he couldn't have done both simultaneously.

"It might have meant nothing to him but that's not your fault," Roman said, reaching over with the hand that wasn't holding his cards to rub Samuel's and make him feel better. "That's his fault. He couldn't appreciate the son he had and now he doesn't have a son at all, because he doesn't deserve one."

He reached up and cradled the boy's face delicately, as if Samuel was fragile and not Roman. "And just because it didn't mean anything to him, that doesn't mean it didn't mean anything at all. Think about me and your mother -- I'm so proud of you for even surviving this bullshit when I know a heap of people who would have crumbled ages ago. And your mum. She's proud of you, I know it, even if she doesn't show it."

Roman put his cards on the bed, face-down so Samuel couldn't see what he had, and cradled his boyfriend's face with both hands. "And you. You need to be proud of yourself because you're still swimming after all the years that man tried to drag you down. You should be so proud of yourself, baby, honestly, you're so amazing I can't even believe you're fucking real."​
 
It did make it feel a lot better to tell Roman. And to have Roman tell him it wasn't all for nothing, that the people who were proud of him were the ones that mattered. Because that was the truth and Samuel just really needed to hear someone say it, even if it was hard to believe and get his mind to change into thinking that as well.

When his boyfriend was done speaking Samuel had to try really hard to swallow down the tears, it still wasn't enough to stop them though. It wasn't like the two last times he had cried in front of Roman, no loud and violent sobbing. Just a couple of silent tears that he put his own cards down for to wipe away himself.

"I don't really feel like trying anymore, it's exhausting" Samuel confessed, he was so close to just give up on everything, to give in to the fact that it was hard to get motivation to really do anything and just lay in bed all day, to crumble and get pulled down. "I mean I still am, because of you and because of mum, but I just... I can't bring myself to go to soccer anymore, or sit down to study, or anything else really. I just feel sad all the time and I don't want to have to fight it anymore"

He let another couple of tears slip, but wiped them off as soon as they had fallen. He couldn't really be proud of himself when he couldn't even do those things.
 
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Roman brushed the back of his hand over Samuel's slightly dampened cheek and then pushed that same hand through the curls atop his head. He'd do anything to make Samuel feel better right now, but he knew that just physical company wouldn't help. He needed to find the right words to say before Samuel would undergo any improvement.

"Look, I'd be more concerned for you if you just got up and moved on straight away," Roman said honestly, rubbing Samuel's arms with his long hands. "This ... this is a really sad thing that's happened and it's normal to feel a bit sad afterwards. What you're feeling isn't wrong, it's just how you're feeling and it's valid."

Roman bit his lip and turned his head to the side thoughtfully. "I think that if you continued to succeed in school and soccer and everything it would prove to you that you weren't doing everything for him, you were doing it for yourself. It'd be like self-validation."​
 
It was okay. It was okay that he felt this way. And maybe it was okay that he couldn't do those things right now. But he wanted to, and he wanted himself to be happy doing them for himself. He just wished it wasn't so hard.

"What if I can't?" Samuels voice broke slightly as he spoke. It didn't feel like he would be able to get back to do those things, and that was the feeling he had had ever since the trial. It just didn't seem to go away, "It would make things worse and I seriously don't think I'd be able to deal with that"
 
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"You can, babe, you can," Roman said insistently. He didn't know if he could solve Samuel's problems but he was going to sure as hell try.

He leaned forward to gently press a kiss to Samuel's cheek, then the other cheek, and then the forehead. "You're the strongest person I know, Samuel, if anyone can get through this it's you. If I was in your position I'd have given up already." He brushed through Samuel's hair and momentarily marvelled at the smooth texture.

"You're in a slump right now, babe, and you can't get out of a slump without working for it and that's what you need to do. And I'm going to be here for you every step of the way, and so is your mum and so is Evan. We all love you more than you can know."​
 
In a way, it felt odd to hear Roman tell him he was the the strongest person he knew, because in Samuels' eyes Roman was the strongest person he could even imagine. And he believed in him and that meant so much to Samuel.

Roman and Samuels mum and Evan were the people he had relied on to go through the last couple of weeks, and he'd continue to have them by his side. That wouldn't change. And if it turned out he couldn't do it entierly for himself he could do it partially for them as well. They mattered more than his dad, because they loved him.

"I love you too" Samuel sniffled and wiped his tears one last time "so, so, much."

He leaned in and closed the distance between them again in a gentle chaste kiss on the lips.

"Thank you" He gave his boyfriend a real, genuine smile and picked up his cards again, it was probably not going to be easy, but felt a lot easier after talking about it and that was a start, "Sorry, whose turn was it?"
 
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"Thank you all for coming," Mr Turner said as the large group of people took their seats in his office.

Roman, London and their father sat beside Samuel and Mrs Ortega on one side of the room, and Jess and her parents sat on the other. They were all close to the desk, behind which sat Principal Turner, and he wore a tired expression on his face. Roman didn't know what that meant. He just kept his hand securely clasped around Samuel's.

"Now, this is a very serious matter," Mr Turner said to all of them, though he was mainly addressing the Martins which Roman didn't know how to feel about. "Mr Hemlock here --" he gestured to Stellan, "-- has pressed this issue quite a lot so it must be dealt with."

Roman's hand -- the non-stitched one of course -- was clasped tightly around Samuel's.

"Mr and Mrs Martin, these kids have reported that Jessica has bullied them, spread rumours about London Hemlock being pregnant, spread rumours about Samuel Ortega and deliberately exposed Roman Hemlock to a phobia that sent him into an anxiety attack, caused him to injure himself and could have possibly killed him through a bleeding disorder he has. She also published a video of Roman on Facebook."

He quickly showed Jessica's parents the video of Roman and the dog and him bleeding and everyone laughing. Roman hid his face in Samuel's shoulder.

"Was any of this brought to your attention?" he asked Mr and Mrs Martin.​
 
Samuel didn't understand why they had to be there really, it was Jess that had done the wrong thing here and Samuel couldn't see how there would be any shred of doubt of that by the time they were done. But he hated that Roman had to be there when the video was shown as if he hadn't gone through enough pain because of it already. As it played Samuel averted his eyes as well, opting to look down on their linked hands instead and not look up again until he was sure it was over.

Both Mr and Mrs was looking at each other with shocked expressions. It was very obvious that this was the first they heard of this, or at least the first time they heard the actual truth. Samuel was sure that if Jess had told them she had twisted it around to turn her into the victim or some other bullshit like that, which was confirmed as she spoke instead of her parents who were the people who had actually been addressed.

"I haven't bullied them, they're like three people! And I didn't spread the rumors, that's just what they assume because they don't like me. I was just there to apologize, and I didn't even know the dog thing was true"

"Jessica, sweetheart, please be quiet for a moment" Jessica's father hushed his daughter and turned to Mr Turner with an expression of pure uncertainty on his face "No, we did not know about this. I can not believe this is Jessicas doing only, she's a very nice girl, surely she got pressured into doing this by someone else"

Samuel rolled his eyes. Jessicas parents were pretty nice people, boring, but nice and he knew they were part to blame for Jessicas bad attitude seeing as they spoiled her rotten and probably believed every word their little girl said. It was hard to ignore hard evidence though, she could talk herself out of the bullying accusations all she wanted, but it wouldn't change the fact that she had uploaded the video.
 
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Roman wanted to lunge over the table and strangle Jessica's father to death but that wouldn't help their case so he stayed put as Mr Turner showed Mr and Mrs Martin the screenshots, provided by London and her friends, of Jessica spreading the rumours about the twins and Samuel over Facebook.

"This, and the fact that Jessica uploaded the video, is cyberbullying and it will not be tolerated in this school," Mr Turner said firmly before putting the phone away and leaning back in his seat. "Mr Hemlock, it is to my understanding that you have been extensively bullied after the video has been uploaded?"

Roman sighed shakily and pulled away from Samuel to nod. "Yes."

"Now, this might be hard for you to do, but please tell Jess and her parents exactly what you've experienced over the last few days."

Roman almost didn't say anything, but he did, and when he spoke his voice was unsteady. "I ... it's mostly just been teasing and people barking at me, things like that," he said, casting his green gaze over to the Martins but keeping his eyes on the wall above their heads so he didn't have to look at Jess. "But ... there's been a lot of online stuff -- I've been getting messages from Jess's friends making fun of me and sending me pictures of dogs and stuff. I also got shoved into a locker the other day."

He turned away and Mr Turner sighed, looking at Samuel. "What have you experienced after all of this, Mr Ortega?"​
 
Wasn't it enough for him to sit there in the same room as her, and watch the stupid video. Did he really have to retell it as well? Samuel wished he could have done that for him, but apparently, he wouldn't have gotten the full story. He hadn't known Roman had been shoved into a locker. That wasn't just mental torment, that could actually physically hurt him bad. The info upset him to the point where he didn't even register Mr. Turners question at first.

"Oh.. Um.. It's all mostly targeted at Roman" Samuel started slowly, speaking clearly once his mind was back on track "I've had to excuse my self from class early, and even skip, to walk him to classes to make sure those kinds of things doesn't happen, I don't want to risk him getting more hurt because of the video"

Samuel certainly wasn't a person people were especially intimidated by, especially after he had come out and Jess deciding to tell other people he was a pussy didn't help either. But he was still technically on the soccer team and he was most likely strong enough to beat whoever dared shove his boyfriend into a locker down, which meant the harassments were probably less when he was with him. Which also meant it shouldn't have been a surprise it was worse than he had known.

Skipping was probably not the kind of thing one should admit to one's principal or in front of ones parent, but it if it added to the severity of the situation by taking from his education Samuel was going to say it, no matter if he got consequences for it.
 
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Roman gripped Samuel's hand even tighter as he retold his side of what happened to everyone in the room. This was such a shitty situation and Roman almost regretted setting Jess up. He wouldn't have done it if he had known all this bullshit would happen as a repercussion of his revenge.

"And you, Miss Hemlock?" Principal Turner asked London.

"Well, it was going to come about eventually, that pregnant, that was inescapable," London said, holding a hand over her still-flat stomach. "But I would have liked to wait as long as I could until I had to start answering people's questions. I've also had a lot of people call me a slut and tell me that my baby is going to suffer because he or she is going to be raised by washouts." Roman and Stellan scowled at the same time. "That's not true. My boyfriend and I are both graduating. This was just ... just an unexpected turn of events."

Roman squeezed his sister's knee. Mr Turner sighed and turned back to the Martins.

"Mr and Mrs Martin, clearly your daughter has caused a lot of problems and this must be dealt with accordingly," he said. "She has made the lives of these three students incredibly difficult. She has impeded on Samuel's learning and possibly even risked Roman's life. Not only had she broken an abundance of school policies with her actions, she has also broken the law by uploading that video. So, we have no choice but to expel her from this school."
 
Samuel knew Roman had told him not to blame himself for the whole situation, but it was impossible not to see he was the one who had been the least affected by Jess antics and that did leave him feeling slightly guilty. That didn't mean Samuel didn't think Jess deserved her punishment any less though. He might have accidentally dragged in Roman and London into this by telling his boyfriend about the girl but she was still the one who had been acting like the horrible person she were and now she was getting what she deserved.

Expelled. She was getting expelled. She wouldn't be a problem anymore.

The room was silent at first, while everyone processed the information. Then it looked as iff Jess was about to say something. But she closed her mouth. Then I t looked as if Mr. Martin was going to say something, but then he looked over to his wife and daughter and then back to the principal before nodding. And thus the rest of them were dismissed as the Martin family stayed to discuss exactly what her expulsion would mean.

As soon as they got out of the office Samuel pulled Roman down for a quick kiss, as if to say he was proud of him without actually having to say it out loud and sound cheesy in front of their parents.

Samuel wasn't entierly sure what to say at all. That he was happy Jess got expelled? Samuel wondered if Jess getting expelled actually would change anything, other than the fact that there would be much less avoiding her in the future. He wondered whether it would make people back of or if it would make it all worse. Jess reputation among the boys might have dropped down significantly, but she was still pretty popular with the girls so backlash from them wasn't an impossibility.

"That went well?" Samuel mumbled, finally, in a question to whoever wanted to answer, he just wanted to confirm wether or not this was the best out come with the others.
 
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Roman wasn't sure how to feel. Jess was being expelled for what she had done. He knew she deserved it and this wasn't just for him, this was the legal ramifications of what she had done. Mr Turner would actually get in trouble if he didn't expel her. But ... this could ruin Jess's life. She was in her last year of school, and it was going to be abruptly stopped because of what she had done. She wouldn't be able to pick up where she left off if she didn't want to repeat the year.

But, she did deserve it and not just for what she had done to Roman with the video. She deserved it for London. She deserved it most for Samuel.

So Roman leaned in with a softer kiss to his boyfriend's lips and wrapped him in a tight hug. "It's over now," he breathed. All of this was over.

It was close to the end of the day and so Stellan was pulling the twins out of school as they were clearly stressed. He kissed London on the forehead, clapped Roman on the back and turned to Mrs Ortega.

"Would you like to come over for dinner, Susan?" he asked softly. Roman wasn't sure about the tensions between Susan and the Hemlocks anymore.​
 
On one hand, Samuel wanted her to say no, because her joining the Hemlocks for dinner was bound to end up awkward and weird. But he also wanted her to say yes, that would be such a big step forward in the right direction.

"Yes, that would be lovely" Susan said after a quick look at Samuel who had given her a small smile to say that he was cool with it. After giving a quick kiss goodbye to Roman they got into their respective cars to drive to the Hemlock residence.

Talking about feelings wasn't a thing the Ortega family did much, but Samuel decided it was the only way he was going to know if his father had been lying or not, and after talking to Roman he knew talking about things generally made them better. The car ride to the hemlocks was as good of a time as any to do it.

"mum" he tried carefully.

"Yes, sweetheart" his mother replied, not taking her eyes off the road.

"...You're... Okay with me and Roman now, right?" that made her give her son a quick glance.

"I.. I'm really trying," his mother said, obviously taken slightly off guard "you know that"

"okay because when I talked to dad he said you weren't so," Samuel said quickly, he avoided bringing his dad up as much as possible with his mother but he really needed to know.

"Is this what has been bothering you lately?"

"Part of it" Samuel nodded with a slight shrug and he could see his mother's neutral expression turn into a frown.

"I honestly don't know what your father was talking about then, like I said, I'm trying"

The rest of the short drive was silent, but Samuel felt like part of what had been weighing down finally had been lifted. As soon as Samuel was out the car upon arriving he hurried over to be close to his boyfriend.

"wow, it's been so long, I've missed you" Samuel joked sporting a smile that certainly didn't fit the weird 'we just got someone expelled' mood from before, but he was just happy that his mother really was still trying.
 
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"It's been sixty-four years," Roman croaked as he threw his arms around his boyfriend and held him closely to his chest like he was never going to let Samuel go again. "I felt dead inside the entire time you were gone. You're never allowed to leave me again or I will waste away into nothingness."

"Get a room."

"Shut up, London."

Roman lead the Ortegas through the house, made Mrs Ortega a cup of tea and got started on dinner since his mother was working late that night and Stellan couldn't cook at all. Roman didn't mind, he liked cooking. He seasoned the roast beef and put it in the oven before getting started on the potatoes and other ingredients pertaining to the meal.

"How's work, Mrs Ortega?" Roman asked casually. He wasn't sure how well hairdressing paid, so he didn't know how the Ortegas were faring in relations to the money. But he hoped they were okay.​
 
"aw, just call me Susan, sweetie" Susan smiled at Roman and Samuel could feel his face shine up, she had been gradually less uncomfortable whenever he would mention his boyfriend at home. This was kind of a big step, although Samuel did suspect his mother might be putting in extra effort due to their conversation in the car. But that certainly wasn't a bad thing.

"Work's about as normal as always, not much excitement in the hair cutting business" Susan was the kind of person not to bother her kid with details of the family economy, but Samuel wasn't too stupid to realize his mother definitely had been working more since around the time his dad had gotten arrested, "Do you want any help with the food? Judging by what Samuel has been telling me you're practically a five-star chef, though, so maybe I'd just be in the way"

His mother raised an eyebrow directed at Samuel, who's face was heated up. Roman didn't need to know how much he talked about him at home, and he gave her a slight glare which she just smiled at.
 
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