[Samuel x Roman]

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Despite the hollow sadness he felt, Roman instinctively reached up to rub Samuel's back soothingly and kiss him on the side of the head. "It's fine, there's nothing that can be done." Once something was out on the internet, it was out forever and there was no way to make it go away so he would just have to learn to move on.

The nurse came back and handed Roman a bottle of pills that would relieve him from the pain in his hand but would still allow him to take his meds, which he was glad for. Stellan also returned and helped his son to the police cruiser. He and Roman sat in the front seat with London, Evan and Samuel in the back.

"We're going to come up to the school next week, you, me, London, Samuel, Jessica and her parents," Stellan said to Roman. "We're all going to see Mr Turner and get to the bottom of this, okay?" He looked in the mirror at Samuel. "You should bring your mother, too, son."

They had arrived at the Hemlock residence where Stellan dropped the kids off and went back to work. A still-sniffling London lead Evan into her bedroom and Roman did the same with Samuel. He took his shoes and socks off, shrugged out of his bloodied school top and swapped it for a soft T-shirt. He sighed heavily and laid down on the bed, staring up at the galaxy ceiling as if he wanted to leave this world for the stars.

"Eight people," he croaked. "Eight people at the school knew. You, London, Bella, Elliot, Blake and three of my exes. Now everyone knows."​
 
Samuel realized as an obviously still upset Roman told him which people had known before that he had been a pretty shitty boyfriend all day, with not remembering how Romans needle worked, not being able to stop him from hurting himself before it happened and having Roman comfort him when it was him who needed it.

He wasn't going to mope over that though, he could and, if he knew himself as of late, he definitely would. Now, though, he was going to be there for Roman like he always was for him. And he was going to be there for him during school where everybody knew now and he was going to be there to talk with Jess and her parents next week even if the idea of even being in the same room as her made him want to punch something and cry for five ours straight at the same time.

Samuel sat down and kicked off his shoes and laid down close to his boyfriend, gently wrapping his arm around him, still a little cautious about what he could and could not do after the anxiety attack, even if a pretty good amount of time had passed since.

"Most people will forget in a week or two" Samuel tried to reassure him, he couldn't promise that, and he guessed that there would be people like Jess and Ricky would make sure to remember it, "It'll be okay"
 
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Roman knew that the rumours and the talk would most likely die after a week, like Samuel had said, since the school would find some other poor bastard to focus on and Roman would get a break. But right now, he was hurting. One of the few things he actually didn't like about himself was out in the open and there was no taking it back.

Roman opened his arms and held Samuel in them tight. He was his rock at the moment. He could feel his phone vibrating, most likely with text messages from Bella, Elliot and Blake, but he ignored them and concentrated on his boyfriend in his arms.

"It's just ... it's like being scared of fucking lawn chairs, or papercuts or something else idiotic. There's no reasoning and everyone can see that. I just look ridiculous. And I was convulsing -- ugh." Roman shook his head to clear his thoughts before opening his eyes.

"This isn't your fault, okay? There was nothing you could do, baby."​
 
He knew it wasn't entirely his fault, it was Jess's. But he couldn't not take some of the responsibility. But he wasn't going to argue and make it about him feeling bad about himself. He did that all the time

"I know, I know" Samuel mumbled with a sigh, "I just wish you didn't have to deal with so much shit, you don't deserve it"

Samuel snuggled closer, as if it was even possible with how tight they were holding each other. He loved him no matter what and he would do his best to support him even if he wasn't as good at it as he was.

"I'll be with you every second at school if you want me to" he could skip class when they didn't share them, or leave early to make sure he didn't walk alone in the hallways, "I don't want you to be alone and not have anyone to tell you you're the best ever if anyone is being an asshole"
 
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Roman sniffled and smiled into Samuel's chest. "I don't deserve you," he breathed, his voice muffled by his boyfriend's shirt before he arched his head back and kissed Samuel, softly and gently, on the lips. They hadn't gone all the way in a while but had still been intimate so it was like second nature to kiss his boyfriend. His beautiful Samuel.

Roman played with Samuel's shirt collar and peered up at his boyfriend. "Are you alright?" he asked. It was odd for him to be asking about the wellbeing of another while he was suffering so deeply but he did, because that was the kind of person he was.

"About your dad, I mean," he added. "How's your mum?"
 
Of course, he would ask that even when he was the one who was hurting. Roman was too nice for his own good, Samuel wasn't going to dwell on the subject of how school was going to turn out if Roman had changed it though. He also wasn't going to bother him with how he felt right now.

"I'm fine" Samuel lied and kissed Roman on his forehead, "Mum doesn't really act any different from what she did before, I just keep thinking-"

He stopped himself, he had been thinking of mentioning what his dad had said. That she really wasn't okay with him. But he decided against it. Roman didn't need to worry about that.

"I dunno, it can't be easy for her, she has to deal with a lot more of the legal things on top of everything" That was true too, and something Samuel really was concerned about, even if what his dad said wasn't true his mother was probably doing her best not to show how it was affecting her. Since she was the one who actually really saw how it affected him, as he came home early and just went straight to bed rather than going to soccer and didn't spend time in the kitchen studying and reading ahead as usual, "I think I should help her more, I don't know how though... Hey, could you teach me how to cook sometime?"

He added the last part without even thinking about it, it seemed like a way more fun thing to do at some point rather than moping around all the time, and he wanted any excuse to be with his boyfriend without having to think too much about what was going on in their lives.
 
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"Of course," Roman murmured at Samuel's request. He rubbed his boyfriend's waist and looked at him with a slightly more serious expression on his face now.

"Baby, I would rather you tell me if something is wrong than to just keep it locked up inside you." Roman knew how detrimental that could be.

"Please, just tell me."
 
Samuel couldn't help but to give Roman a small smile for insisting he'd tell him just like always, he loved him so much.
"I told you, I'm fine," Samuel repeated himself, "It's not like things are perfect, but they are getting better I guess"

They weren't getting better and that was the problem. He had just skipped one practice because he was tired and now he had skipped half of the since the trial, same with homework, and he still cried a lot rather than being able to sleep. He was pretty sure he hadn't cried himself to sleep so often since Jessica.

"Besides, you're the one who was in the hospital today, let me worry about you for a change" he chuckled quietly, he did worry about Roman a lot, mostly after he had been bleeding, but now he was concern with whether or not his boyfriend would make it through the next couple of school days okay, "we can talk about me some other day"

Adding that last sentence was just meant as a way to stop the topic from continuing in that moment, but somehow it also made Samuel feel kind of relieved to think that talking about it with Roman maybe was something he would have to do after saying he would. He just didn't want to do it now. Now Samuel wanted he wanted to give Roman sweet and gentle kisses and tell him he loved him to make sure he knew. So he did.

"I love you, okay?"
 
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"I know. I love you too."

That was the only thing Roman was sure of right now. Everything was falling apart around his ears but it was so much worse than the last time. The last time, it had just been because he couldn't take his medication. Now, he had had a bad anxiety attack on his medication which terrified him, because now he knew it couldn't always help.

His sister, his seventeen-year-old twin sister, was pregnant. Samuel's life was dissolving around him and nothing was certain for him anymore. And now the whole school, and possibly even more people, knew about his phobia. It was weird to think that not two hours ago, most things had been fine.

But there was nothing anyone could do about it. So they just had to move on, like Roman did with everything else.

"Just ... you can tell me anything," Roman told his boyfriend. "Don't worry about how it would upset me, you're more important."​
 
"I know I can, and I will, okay?" Samuel said, because he knew he could. If there was one person he could talk about how it felt it was Roman, it was easy with him, which was why I was hard not to, "but I'm not more important, especially not now"

By then Samuel had decided he would talk to Roman, seeing as even him wanting him to talk about how things were after the trial made him feel better telling him had to do the same thing. And if Samuel was being honest with himself he was really tired of feeling like he did, of not having been truly happy since.

"Really Roman, I'll live another day or two while you recover, " he reassured his boyfriend, he wanted to make sure Roman was somewhat okay before he told him he really wasn't. It was partially selfish as well, Samuel was pretty sure spilling all his feelings now when he should be comforting Roman would make him feel worse in the end, "I really hate to see you hurt, and I don't want to risk worrying you when I know you are, to me that's most important"
 
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Roman was so used to being an emotional rock for the people around him that he didn't even realise how nice it was for someone to be a rock for him. It felt wonderful to know that Samuel, whom he loved with all of his heart, cared for Roman as much as Roman cared for him. It made him feel all warm inside.

He was about to say something when the door opened and his mother, dressed in her teacher clothes, rushed inside with a worried expression on her face. "Oh, baby!" she gasped when she saw Roman's bandaged hand.

"Mum, I'm fine," Roman reassured her as he sat up slightly while Ingrid sat on the edge of the bed and fussed over his bandages like any good mother.

"London told me what happened. Aren't you taking your meds?"

"Of course I am," Roman said irritably. "Did she tell you about the dog?"

Ingrid sighed and nodded. She looked to Samuel. "Thank you for helping him, Samuel."​
 
Roman didn't have a chance to respond before his mother came in, which Samuel was both sad and happy about. He wanted to hear what his boyfriend would have said, simply because he always did, but if it had been a little more convincing Samuel would have probably not been able to stop himself from spilling his worries. Having someone interrupt was as good a way as any to avoid that.

He watched silently as the mother fussed over her son. It made Samuel smile, it was nice to know that there were so many people who loved and cared for Roman, with all the things he had to deal with he really did deserve it.

"Of course" Samuel shrugged with a small smile directed at his boyfriend's mother when she addressed him. Honestly, London had probably helped the most but Samuel was sure she had already thanked her daughter. He wasn't going to make a big deal out of who helped the most in front of Ingrid, that'd be silly.
 
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Roman convinced Samuel's mother to let Samuel stay overnight, and he was glad, because the company of his boyfriend allowed him to escape his own mind. If he had been alone for the evening, he would have stewed in his dread for the next day until he eventually cut school. But Samuel gave him the confidence to attend as he should.

He got dressed the next morning, did his hair, brushed his teeth and piled into the backseat of the car with London in the front and his mother driving. They went through the drive-through at Maccas for breakfast and Roman slowly chewed on his hash browns and sipped his coffee. So far so good.

They arrived at school, parked in the staff car park since his mother was a freaking teacher and said goodbye to Ingrid before the teenagers went to the high school part of the campus. Roman kept his hand securely clasped around Samuel's as they made their way to their lockers near the art building.

He could feel the eyes on him. He could hear a couple of people laughing. He hated it immensely. But he pretended not to notice until he saw Ricky out of the corner of his eye and sighed heavily, waiting for the storm to hit.​
 
Samuel was happy to spend the night over at his boyfriends, not wanting to leave him alone even a second after what he had gone through. Being able to sleep well for once due to being with Roman was a nice bonus, but being there for him was the reason he was there. And it was the reason he made sure not to let go of his hand and give everyone who laughed or even looked at Roman angry glares when they arrived at school the next day. No one had actually said anything so far though, but Samuel knew that would change as soon as he noticed Ricky approaching.

"Hey fags" He really was a nice and pleasant guy.

Samuel decided it'd be best to just ignore him and go to their lockers before he got a chance to mention the video, so he pushed pass him so that they could continue walking.

"Hey, I'm talking to you" Ricky insisted but Samuel continued to walk quietly, pulling his boyfriend along with him so he wouldn't have to deal with his former friends, until they got to Romans locker. Ricky, however, seemed hell bent on following them, "I said I'm-"

"What?" Samuel finally interrupted, apparently, you wasn't going to allow them to ignore him.

"Coach says you're not playing the next game unless you start coming to practice"

"I'm aware of the rules," Samuel said angrily, he hated that Ricky could use soccer as an excuse to get to talk to them, "leave"

He didn't.

"So, Sam, how's your dog?" Ricky said with a snide smile, looking straight at Roman even if the question was directed to Samuel. This was obviously the actual reason he approached them, finally having something to use against Roman since he usually could brush all his insults off.

"Fuck off"

"What? I'm just asking" He almost managed to sound like he was just making normal conversation, but it was impossible not to pick up on the smugness in his voice, "Roman, since Samuel doesn't want to speak to me, would you tell me how Daisy is?... Oh wait, I guess you'd be too busy spazzing out on the ground to know, you freak"
 
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Roman closed his eyes for a moment and didn't turn around when Ricky asked about Daisy. Of course. Of course he'd exploit it when he found something he could bully Roman about. Roman just continued to gather his things for the first two periods and avoided addressing the question.

"Hey, Ricky, how's your nose?" London said, appearing put of nowhere with her hand in Evan's as she shoved past Ricky to stand beside her brother. "You okay?" she asked Roman quietly.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Roman murmured back.

People seemed to be giving Evan weird looks, as if to say how are you still alive, what are you doing with the psycho? London ignored them and turned back to Ricky.

"Is there anything else? Do you want another broken nose, princess?"​
 
Roman didn't defend himself like he usually would, and Samuel had no real idea how to defend him, all he could think of was that he wanted to actually dunk Ricky's head in the lockers or something, because he needed to shut up and stop making his wonderful boyfriend feel bad.

Luckily London and Evan came to the rescue before Ricky said something that would make Samuel actually act out that thought. Evan smiled proudly at his girlfriend for threatening Ricky and for a moment Samuel really thought it would make him leave, due to how scared he had been of the girl since she hit him, but apparently not.

"Sorry, unlike your weirdo of a brother I'm not scared of actually harmless things" Ricky snickered, Samuel had no idea where he got his over confidence from, he had no doubt London would punch him if he continued. Samuel was not about to let him do that though, Ricky had surpassed the line of what was okay before he even walked up to them and Samuel was about as furious as he had been with Jess yesterday.

Samuel glanced over at Roman for a moment, he was obviously not fine and that was Ricky and anyone who had been laughing this mornings fault. Samuel hated them.

"Hey, Ricky" If he laughed at other people's fears Samuel couldn't be bothered to give a single shit about Ricky's to himself "Do you still sleep with your light's on?"

"I? What?... No." Ricky said very unconvincingly, obviously not having expected anyone to bring up his fear of the dark at that moment.

"Oh okay, really? Because I'm pretty sure you did last time me and Evan were over, when was that again?" Samuel turned to a grinning Evan for confirmation.

"'Couple of months ago?" Evan said thoughtfully as they watched Ricky's grin falter slowly, "But I guess little Ricky here has grown out of that, I bet he's still scared shitless of birds though"

"Oh yeah, remember that time during half time last year when you ran to the other side of the field after a couple of harmless birds came to steal some snacks, that was fun wasn't it?"

Samuel stared intently at Ricky while speaking who's gaze kept frantically look around him to see who was hearing this, which probably was way more people than he would have liked.

"What did you forget that we actually know you?" Samuel finished, almost laughing at the dumbfounded expression on Ricky's face, he didn't though, because getting away with Roman was more important.

This time when they left, Ricky did not follow.

"are you okay?" Samuel repeated Londons question to Roman once they had passed the corner and was far off enough for Ricky not to hear.
 
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Roman allowed himself a small smirk of victory as he looked over his shoulder to see a shell-shocked Ricky looking completely flabbergasted after Samuel wrecked him in front of all their spectators. Roman slipped his hand back into Samuel's and squeezed it as they walked.

"Thank you, baby," he murmured, dropping a kiss to the top of Samuel's head.

"Can't I punch him?" London whined from behind them.

"No." ​
 
Samuel couldn't help but to smile and feel all warm inside upon hearing his boyfriend thank him. Knowing Roman was at least somewhat happy was one of few things that really did make Samuel feel happy and forget about his own worries for a while.

"aww cmon, can't she?" Samuel jokingly asked his boyfriend, "Evan missed it last time, I'm sure he'd like to see"

"Don't you think he's had enough for today?" Evan laughed at Samuel quite uncharacteristically endorsing violence to resolve their problems.

"Nah" Samuel sighed and rested his head slightly on the side off Romans shoulder, joking aside Samuel really wouldn't have cared if London had punched him. Anyone who went out of their way to deliberately hurt his lovely boyfriend deserved a punch or two, or a hundred. But Samuel did think it felt good to properly stand up to Ricky. To get to say to last word himself. Not that he minded when Roman had defended him in the past at all, Samuel loved him so much for that, but it was nice to know he could defend him as well when it was needed.
 
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"London, you're incredibly violent for a pregnant lady," Roman remarked as he and Samuel paused outside their homeroom to talk to London and Evan.

"Nah, that just makes me more violent. Raging hormones."

"Woah, shit, Evan, look out mate."

"Nah, he's safe." London squeezed Evan around the middle and stood on her tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek. "I'll protect you from Roman, baby."

"Ugh." Roman made a face of disgust and pulled Samuel into the room.​
 
"They are sweet, you grump" Samuel laughed, not letting go of his boyfriend's hand as they took their seats.

Once sitting down Samuel put the elbow of his free arm on the desk, rested his head in his palm and closed his eyes for a moment. Despite having slept well that night he still felt tired, probably more emotionally than physically. He just hated mean people were and Samuel wasn't even the one having to deal with their classmate's ridicule. He just wanted to take his boyfriend home and tuck him into bed and lay next to him and give him kisses to make it all better.

"Besides, you've threatened to kill him like a thousand times, he need all the protection he can get" Samuel opened his eyes and glanced up to his boyfriend while speaking and continued with a light chuckle. "not that he doesn't deserve a couple of those death threats"
 
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