That's just perfect.
So I live in a hoarder's house, not by choice. Nobody will rent to me because my income requirements don't meet the even minimum standard, so I have been forced to live in this filthy place. And it just got so, so much worse. I went to a friend's house and guess what they had without telling me?
Bed bugs.
And because it's my fucking life, and I know Murphy's Law extremely well, guess who got it too? Yeah, I did. And no money to get my crap into the dryers, to buy a bug bomb and now we've gotta figure out what to do with the cats.
And you know, it just gets so much better. People like to pipe in what I should be doing, what they think should be done without really asking me what's going on. There's nothing I can do. This hoarder is my mother, and she hates me. She won't ever listen to me. I can't move out because the money issues.
I feel so extremely helpless, and scared. There's a fly infestation too.
People are being shitty about it too. They act as if I've chosen this life, like I had any choice but this. True, I could be homeless instead, lose my income and health insurance and then die on the streets because I can't afford my medications and I got too cold.
I could have found a place that took all of my income to stay in, and not afford the medications I need because of rising rent and the stay of wages.
I have no choices here. But keep yelling at me or being shitty about situations that I can't handle or control.
And for those people telling me how to handle hoarder situations with family...just fucking don't. You aren't helping, you are just stressing me the hell out. I'm scared, I'm tired and I just hate the life I live. I can't get a break, no part of my life is pleasant. I've lived like this all of my life, my sister however lived a life I'd sell my kidneys for.
She got the security of knowing she'd be warm, safe and fed. You know what I had to do growing up? Scrounge for food in dumpsters, use the single sheet and one blanket I had to try and stay warm in the winter while mom gave her many covers. Why does she think that I always asked to sleep in her bed at the base? She had warmth.
She got everything she ever asked for, I had to deal with what I got. Working while she played, you have no idea what it feels like to watch your sibling, who was just one year older than you, get what a child needs to live happily while you were given close to nothing.
And then have people tell you that you are stuck in one place while your sister has moved on. She was privileged, yes she worked for a lot but she was given a lot. I was never granted anything she was, and people treat me like this is the life I chose.
I hate my life, and I don't have a strong sturdy support system like many people do.