RANT Your Brains Out #98274

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Can't even wear my glasses because they fog up the moment I put them on my face. Every five minutes, I have to splash water on myself so I can cool down while I walk through my apartment. I'm drinking water to the point of feeling like puking because I can't stop feeling thirsty.

I feel so lame because I can't even handle 80 degree weather. And it'll get to the 100s pretty soon. How many more summers do I have to suffer here? >:[
 
Damn you, iHeartRadio. ;___; y u do dis?

I WAS FINE UNTIL YOU PLAYED THIS SOOOOONG.

*resumes pathetic sobbing*
 
Everything is falling apart.

I don't have any duct tape.

):
 
I'm going to strangle my neighbor, no one taught this woman how to properly shut a damn door, 8-10 times a day my heart leaps out of my chest because this dumb bimbo can't gently shut her door. For weeks I was Dealing, but today she knocked one of my framed drawings off my wall THE ONLY FRAMED DRAWING I have. Thankfully the glass was still intact and art was safe.

No one knocks my art of my walls >:[ grrrrr
 
STOP CUTTING MY MOTHER FUCKING FOOD STAMPS. I am but a puny college student whose debt is up passed his eyeballs, you think any of that is going to food?! No! It's to pay my tuition and for my books. If you cut out all of my food stamps (every month you've been taking away five dollars in hopes that I will not see it) I won't have any food unless I go to food banks.

If not cutting my food stamps, I could live with it. But you also have cut my friend's food stamps and she has two little girls! Why? because her boyfriend makes one dollar over. That doesn't mean they aren't in the hole, no, they've had to rely on others to get groceries. while this system is working, it's temporary. They shouldn't have to do that.


Gawd I am so pissed.
 
I just got out of Red Rock mental hospital. Two weeks. Felt like a vacation compared to all the bullshit I have to go through.
 
My cat was locked in the garage from 8am to 6pm. I feel like a terrible pet owner ;A;
 
So having 5-10 people are coming over to my house. Well they're like friends of my parents and they want to hold their usual meetings at our house. I'm ok with it, it wont bother me at all. Just that I now have a list of meticulous chores I have to do.
  • clean the grout
  • wash the baseboards
  • wash the doors
  • wash the blinds
  • vacuum everyday
  • walls need to be dust and washed
  • repaint places no one looks at
And the list continues. All of this just so people can come over and what? Talk shit about our home. I don't think so, it's a religious meeting and stuff so why would they care about what you have in your home. After 4 years of living here you decided it was best to have people over that apparently wear white gloves. I don't know if my parents are only thinking about their reputation with 'man'. That shouldn't matter but apparently it has to matter. I swear this is Bullshit in the first degree.
 
Well.....I'm glad this semester is over with. If I have to explain my project one more time...I may have to scream. How do professors get their jobs? I explained everything to her five or six times and NEVER did she get anything right! I don't know why links were broken when she opened it but it worked fine for me! I'm so pissed off because that project is the only thing keeping me from an A. So I'm just a LITTLE pissed. Also ESO takes forever to download.
 
Yep. Back on my meds again. Nope. Still wanting to self-mutilate like crazy. Had break up with the bf two days ago because he's probably off doing drugs and forgetting I existed or 'was important to him' at one time. Not sure I was really ready to leave the mental hospital. I could probably go live there forever and really not mind. It's better than everything I have to put up with. Especially being homeless. Fuck everything ever. Nothing's going right.
 
Ready to just freak the fuck out. I had a really shitty fucking birthday.
 
I keep forgetting how easy it is to make me cry. Need to stop watching these sad shows, maybe find something that makes me laugh.
 
I hate how my body is. I was 220lbs roughly a month ago, maybe a little over, now I'm 189 from dieting to intense exercising. It's not good enough. I look thinner than I weigh, I guess it's muscle but my stomach is my problem. It makes me self conscious how its... flabby, is it skin or still fat? I just want to be beautiful. I don't want to be rejected over and over because I'm not thin enough. It's always that case, "ooh pretty face but you're a fat ass, gtfo." I'm fucking trying, alright? Do you think I want to be like this? I want to get back down to my 120lbs that I was before having kids. It makes pissed because I can lift a lot, I can do pushups, I can run 5-10 miles but my body won't look like it!
 
Why must it be unacceptable to date more than one person at once? I hate being polyamorous in a society which only accepts monogamy. How am I supposed to be with just one person, when there are so many who I love? All I'll ever be is branded as a cheater, when in reality I am as loyal to my partners as humanly possible
 
Some people really know how to piss me off! I'm not the type of person who likes being up anyone's ass, so don't expect me to suddenly. ,,I, (>_<),I,,

That's all I have to say.
 
Teenagers annoy the fuck out of me. Seriously, if I ever met teenage me, I'd want to kill me. I hated my own self as a teen.

She had the nerve to tell me my son will basically grow up to be a rambunctious piece of shit. Rambunctious? Probably. Piece of shit? No. Fuck no. Listen darlin', if you really think that, I'll make sure he grows up being a piece of shit to you and only you. For the rest of the people he knows, he'll be friendly as ever. :D There's not much I can't discipline. I'll see to it that all who doubt me will understand this.

Sometimes I wonder if some people think I'm just a joke. I'm a big girl, playing mommy and paying bills all by herself! Come the fuck on... (Or my anxiety's just kicking in, that's not unlikely either. >_>)
 
Fuck my husband's old company, that shipped us to Florida then closed up shop a year later. Screw you to all piece of shit employers in this sorry ass state that won't hire him because he's too experienced or want to pay him shit wages because it's an 'at will' state. But most of all, fuck Florida! This state has been nothing but bad fucking luck since we moved here, and now I'm stuck being 950 miles away from my husband until we can save up enough to move! All I want is to have my family in one piece, not scattered all over the place, but no! My kids and I are stuck in Florida while everyone in my family, is back home.

God damn it! I hate when he leaves. I'm really not sure how much more of this I can take.
 
It's...too...hot... ~___~ and I have to get up so so so early tomorrow.

~hugs herself because it's too hot to rage fit all over the place~
 
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