RANT RANT Your Brains Out #98274

Discussion in 'COUNSELING' started by Iwaku, Mar 13, 2014.

  1. When you get on a voice call and hear your "friends" talking about you :) :) :) And we're supposed to hang out? I bought a plane ticket for what? Lol. I should have gotten the insurance and cancelled, but now I'm just SOL.
     
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  2. Bouts of self-loathing are so fucking wonderful.
    Being a burden to those around you is so fun.
    Worrying about what your friends are most likely complaining about because you're emotionally fucked up is always a good time.

    Saying the wrong thing at the wrong times and expecting to lose everyone, just like always, it just the perfect thing to have happen.
    Especially as it makes you feel worthless and invisible while also feeling like you're in the middle of a crowd just to draw the fire.

    I'm getting sick of feeling shitty over stupid shit.
    I hate feeling like I don't matter when I know I have no right.
    I'm sick of just being a worthless piece of shit.

    And the worst part is that I hate how I always get this way around certain events through the year.
    I know that, and I wonder how much of this depressive swing of my bipolar has to do with the fact that it's my birthday on Sunday, yet we still haven't done the things we need to do for it. (Such as getting a cake. Whoop-dee-fucking-do, I'll most likely get stuck with whatever they happen to have in stock again this year. Hopefully they have something other than chocolate so I won't get sick on my own damn birthday cake again.)

    And I loathe that I'm typing this out, since I just know I'm going to regret it later and most likely come back to delete or edit it all out to something else.
    Because I'm a weak little bitch like that...
     
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  3. ... I've been officially re-diagnosed as having High-Functioning Autism.

    All these years we thought it was just ADHD.

    ... dunno how to feel about that...
     
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  4. Pretty sure the courthouse here is pulling illegal shenanigans. The lady at the front desk even had the gall to laugh at us. They've suspended a driver's license on no grounds. There are no traffic violations and all the bills are paid so there is no reason to suspend the license. I can't be the only person that sees a problem with this. "We didn't know who was paying the bills." But you've literally given us receipts, you know we were paying the bills. Don't fucking lie. Now we have to run this person back and forth to their job in another town at three in the morning because you decided to hold their license. I'd laugh too, bitch.

    And people wonder why I don't bother with getting driver's license. There's too much tape to get one or apparently keep one. Legs do me just fine.
     
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  5. me: replies to what is easiest to reply to, not necessarily according to who has been waiting the longest, sometimes leaving certain RPs or messages for a week or more

    also me: internally freaks out and worries I have done something wrong/have upset someone/my writing(characters/ideas/etc.) sucks and my partner doesn't like the RP when anyone does the exact same to me

    me:

    [​IMG]
     
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  6. omg the birds that i hear every morning arent owls

    theyre doves
     
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  7. Sell the ticket for profit and don't tell your friends you're not coming just so they get to sit at the airport and waist their day Cus they deserve it
     
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  8. I give up I'm just gonna live with fruit flies until next May when I move

    You won you nasty little fuckers I hope you're happy
     
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  9. I get one worry off my mind and a dozen more pop up. Finally get my daughter on the right medicine, now I have to worry about her hearing. How in the hell did that happen? She was just screened a few months ago at school and everything came back fine. How could she be losing hearing in a few months!?! She's never even had an ear infection let alone any other problems with her ears.....
     
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  10. I lost my ojuzu, how could I be so dumb. I am the worst.

    Edit: I am having my friend in Hawaii send me one from the hongwanji, but wtf... Where could it have gone...?
     
    #3150 Vardoger, Aug 16, 2017 at 10:02 AM
    Last edited: Aug 16, 2017 at 7:54 PM
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  11. the stress right now even though it's nothing compared to what others go through (it's just my new job probably but i can't think of anything else that's making me stressed out rn since i'm far away from my family's negativity) makes me feel like i need to drop every single rp i'm in; i'm not going to, it just feels like i can't handle both and i feel needy and restless and impatient because i don't have someone on iwaku to talk to constantly (like talk to when i'm on iwaku, basically).
     
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  12. Why the fuck can't I seem to do anything anymore >____< who even am I what have I become will I ever even be me again is this person who can't do shit and stays in her room all day with no energy going to be me forever

    I'm so fucking sorry all my rp people >______> I can't do the thing even though I want to do the thing and I'm sorry I'm so sorry

    And right now on my first period day I can say it's just the hormones and pain talking but I haven't been truly productive in weeks and dammit why
     
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  13. mmm yes I sure do love having a near constant headache thanks to a severe lack of quality sleep, thanks to the Worst Cat In the Universe
     
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  14. I wish people were less predictable. It's dull to deal with what feels like the same person over and over again, when it's supposed to be someone new.
     
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  15. My hair...

    image.jpg
     
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  16. there's a small, nagging fear that gets to me.

    it's unreasonable, i know it is, but it eats away at me when i'm not looking. even after all the treatment i've gone through, after all the work i've done, the money ive spent, the pills ive taken; it's still there. it's a wound that i've been picking, a small cut that festers but i can put a bandaid over it. disinfect it, make it better, i can choose to avoid touching and pulling at the scabs. but the thing is, i don't.

    i'll lie awake some nights, wondering when the ball will drop. when will people get sick of me? is that question that drones in my mind, it repeats like some shitty electronica dance track that you found scoping out the radio stations in the middle of arizona coming out las vegas. its loud, annoying, but it's the only thing that's there and it's either that or silence, and sometimes silence it damn dangerous.

    o<-< sigh, depression is a bitch man. im going to binge eat strawberry ice cream to fill the void now lmao
     
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  17. So update on the license, now we get the notice from the DoT that it is suspended two weeks after the fact, and I can't fucking find the fine anywhere on the website. This is all bull shit. And they don't listen when you call to tell them it's not there. If this keeps up a person is going to go to jail for an invisible parking violation that didn't happen. I just can't anymore.
     
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