RANT Your Brains Out #98274

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My job has reduced me to two shifts a week. 10 hours. I cannot subsist on 10 hours a week. I went from 30 to 10. What the fuck is this.

I know I need to find another job now but I don't know what to do lol lol lol
I wish things could be as simple for me as they were for so many other people. 'Just find a job, apply to everything'. I'm chronically ill and it's not this easy. I could try selling art, but let's be real, that's not going to happen. No one is going to buy my shit a) at all or b) for the price that I would need to be able to continue living on my own. (Once again that voice in my head tells me if I had just fucking kept up at art then I'd be really good by now and people WOULD buy my shit)

Not
that I'm going to be
because I am going to have to move back in with my parents soon

but

*screeches*
 
The dojo that I train at seems to have vanished overnight. I just went to the location and all the lights were off. It was completely empty and there no signs, nothing, not a clue. What happened? Where did my beloved dojo go? What about my team and sensei? I really hope our other dojo is still standing.

I'll have to find out on Saturday, I guess. .
 
Today has been nothing short of garbage, and the only way I can see salvaging any of what's left is reading OTP fanfiction until I fall asleep... Out of sheer embarrassment and a little bit of caution that is the most I feel like I can say on the matter. Good day.
 
Anyone: *says that I'm a good person*

Me: Lol that's blatantly false but ok... if you want to keep on telling yourself that...
 
I'm in need of a good cry, but I also need to make myself presentable enough to go eat dinner before the dining hall closes... what to do...
 
I have been bothered by something since Friday afternoon and I have the need to get it off my chest. To a spectator, it may appear as childish and a little silly to be upset over, but it's a situation that is extremely personal to me. Here's the story:

For the past week, my high school has been raising money for White Ribbon Campaign which apparently encourages males to take action against domestic violence directed at women. My friend and I, who are very serious about our beliefs due to our backgrounds, donated money and decided to wear white on behalf of the cause. For that very reason, we were allowed entry into the assembly being held on Friday afternoon. We, along with two of our other friends, went and I feel incredibly sorry for them. There's nothing quite like being trapped between two balls of absolute rage.

So. Where did this rage come from?

It came from the moment when we had to recite a pledge that is endorsed by the White Ribbon Campaign. After we came to the line that stated "I will remind myself and others that gender violence is a men's issue", my friend and I both stopped. We stared at each other with an understanding of immense rage and found ourselves lingering in the assembly even after we were dismissed. I wanted to stay and ask the White Ribbon Campaign why it was okay to tell high schoolers that only men are responsible for gender violence, but I didn't have the courage to do so and my friend was literally shaking with anger besides me. Although we decided to leave, my friend drove me home and we met up later that night. We want to send a counter-message to our school with a reminder that one out of seven men are subject to domestic violence while one out of four women are subjected to domestic violence, but we don't know how to do this. My own cowardice angers me. This entire situation angers me. I can't believe that a movement pushing for change would spread such an awful message.

This is coming from a woman, by the way. A woman who had to leave home and move with relatives more than three states away at the age of seventeen due to coming from an abusive background. My mother was an abusive woman, not only to my sister and I, but to our stepfather as well. She had an affair, always lied, withheld money, and stole from all three of us. My biological father, on the other hand, was a despicable man who was capable of abuse that I don't even want to talk about. Regardless, this is personal to me. I know domestic abuse can come from either side and it's disgusting that anyone would try to say otherwise. Let me donate to raise awareness for both men AND women! Acknowledge that both men AND women are victims of this!

I am disgusted on behalf of my entire school for buying into this bullcrap.
 
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I hate when someone or a groupe judge someone based on their country they are born in, or assume/generalize, i heard a lot of anti-french stuffs, and man.. it's stupid as hell, and hard to handle, when one person do something bad, it's the fault of my entire country? seriously? and i grew tired of hearing about "the ancestors", what happened in the past, stay in the past, it's 2017, it's the present, end of story.
 
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Note to self:


Just because a corner store sells BBQ burritos does not mean that they are good.


Bet you regret your breakfast choices now, don't you? It's WWIII in your stomach to your colon.
 
My idiot friend waited until tonight to start a research paper due tomorrow. Of course, I get roped into helping her. . .
 
every time I fix one problem with my computer something else pops up!
I guess it is four years old... I should probably take it in for maintenance... RIP
 
Why does laundry tire me out so damn much? I'm throwing my bedsheets in the wash, not running a marathon, but it leaves me feeling like I could sleep for a full week. It doesn't matter if I'm on my crutches or in my chair; I'm always exhausted afterwards.
 
Desdemona said:
I have been bothered by something since Friday afternoon and I have the need to get it off my chest. To a spectator, it may appear as childish and a little silly to be upset over, but it's a situation that is extremely personal to me. Here's the story:

For the past week, my high school has been raising money for White Ribbon Campaign which apparently encourages males to take action against domestic violence directed at women. My friend and I, who are very serious about our beliefs due to our backgrounds, donated money and decided to wear white on behalf of the cause. For that very reason, we were allowed entry into the assembly being held on Friday afternoon. We, along with two of our other friends, went and I feel incredibly sorry for them. There's nothing quite like being trapped between two balls of absolute rage.

So. Where did this rage come from?

It came from the moment when we had to recite a pledge that is endorsed by the White Ribbon Campaign. After we came to the line that stated "I will remind myself and others that gender violence is a men's issue", my friend and I both stopped. We stared at each other with an understanding of immense rage and found ourselves lingering in the assembly even after we were dismissed. I wanted to stay and ask the White Ribbon Campaign why it was okay to tell high schoolers that only men are responsible for gender violence, but I didn't have the courage to do so and my friend was literally shaking with anger besides me. Although we decided to leave, my friend drove me home and we met up later that night. We want to send a counter-message to our school with a reminder that one out of seven men are subject to domestic violence while one out of four women are subjected to domestic violence, but we don't know how to do this. My own cowardice angers me. This entire situation angers me. I can't believe that a movement pushing for change would spread such an awful message.

This is coming from a woman, by the way. A woman who had to leave home and move with relatives more than three states away at the age of seventeen due to coming from an abusive background. My mother was an abusive woman, not only to my sister and I, but to our stepfather as well. She had an affair, always lied, withheld money, and stole from all three of us. My biological father, on the other hand, was a despicable man who was capable of abuse that I don't even want to talk about. Regardless, this is personal to me. I know domestic abuse can come from either side and it's disgusting that anyone would try to say otherwise. Let me donate to raise awareness for both men AND women! Acknowledge that both men AND women are victims of this!

I am disgusted on behalf of my entire school for buying into this bullcrap.
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No-one has infinite confidence, so try not to feel guilty for not being able to speak up on this one occasion. Especially if you were angry, since it's harder to have a reasonable conversation if you're angry. Many small and calm conversations are what change people's minds and gets them to consider new things, not a loud angry voice on one occasion. So persevere, we can gradually get people to acknowledge that both genders can the perpetrators and victims.
 
"Women today don't deserve Women's Day."

Just people being stupid about the validity of Women's Day. Men's Day and Non-Binary Day are things; what makes Women's Day so specifically outrageous and taboo? I just...I don't get it. It's not like we take time off for any of these holidays or do much with them. We just kind of have them as morale boosters. Gawd forbid some of us feel good about our gender identities and the accomplishments of either ourselves, or the people who fought so that we might be able to reach these accomplishments.

I just - I just, rrrrrrrrrrh! I get that there is a current feminism fear thanks to the extremists. I get that. They are butts, but they don't represent the entirety of feminism let alone women! That's what earns them the separate title of extremists! Woman's Day is about the international accomplishments of women; past, present, future. Not what weird things the extremists say on the Internet.

Fuck.

That felt good. I needed that. Have a good day.
 
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Why, roommate? Why did you clog the toilet before leaving? I didn't even think it was humanly possible to clog a toilet up this bad. Now we have to call the plummer.
 
I hate people. Everyday I see or hear more about injustices caused by them. I honestly can't wait to become a police officer. This world is so evil.
 
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Brovo was right. Salty was right. I don't care that they're banned now. I don't care what they did to me. They were right about me all along...
 
My Pokemon card collection feels like a really effective metaphor for my life right now. Reasons:
  1. Over the years, I have neglected to take care of it, and it almost completely fell apart. It is a shadow of its former self, and it's sad to look back on what it used to be. How did I fall so far? Sure, I sort of remember the events that led to this point, but, I didn't realize how much was lost until I really took a close look at it.
  2. Although I regret making the mistakes I did, I can rebuild. I can sort through and organize what I have left, and start to build it back up again. And there is the hope that, with proper care, it'll come back better than ever before. But, it's going to take a long time to get there...
  3. I just don't have enough energy. I have to put so much thought into what to use them for, and I still come up short. And to think, energy was practically worthless as a kid because there was never any fear of running out. But now... oh, what I would give to have all that back.
 
On a miscellaneous note, my executive dysfunction (particularly in regards to just spacing the fuck out and forgetting things) has been so bad today that an outside observer would probably think I'm a fucking dementia patient. Like, ok, everyone has those moments where you walk into a room and forget why you went in there and stuff like that -- but like, the extent to which I have just... paced aimlessly around the house today; gotten food out of the fridge, set it on the counter, and forgot about it for a solid 2 minutes, despite not doing anything in all of that time except slowly pacing around the house; and sat in one place for so long that I almost forgot to eat... It's pathetic. Why am I like this?
 
Kagayours said:
Brovo was right. Salty was right. I don't care that they're banned now. I don't care what they did to me. They were right about me all along...
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I know it's not the place for this but NO THEY WERE NOT. ASSHOLES ARE NEVER RIGHT, THEY JUST WANT TO EMOTIONALLY ABUSE PEOPLE LIKE YOU AND ME AND NEVER LET THEM WIN BY THINKING THEY WERE RIGHT. THEY ARE WRONG AND DO NOT LET THEM DEHUMANIZE YOU, YOU ARE A GREAT PERSON.
 
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Pahnera Bread ™ said:
I know it's not the place for this but NO THEY WERE NOT. ASSHOLES ARE NEVER RIGHT, THEY JUST WANT TO EMOTIONALLY ABUSE PEOPLE LIKE YOU AND ME AND NEVER LET THEM WIN BY THINKING THEY WERE RIGHT. THEY ARE WRONG AND DO NOT LET THEM DEHUMANIZE YOU, YOU ARE A GREAT PERSON.
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o_o" Wow, I mean, I appreciate the support, but, in regards to certain things, uhh... they kind of were right... I'm relatively at peace with it now, at least compared to when I posted that earlier comment, but, they were right.
 
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