((This was ripped out of me due to an unpleasant series of Skype conversations I've been sharing with my significant other. I apologize for the length- I needed to let this out.))
I know my problems aren't as serious as other people's problems. There are thousands of people out there suffering through starvation, divorce, depression, suicidal thoughts, bullying; a myriad of problems that aren't so first-world like my own.
So why does it hurt so much? Why do you hurt me so much?
We've been the best of friends for five years and counting. You have always meant the world to me. We shared each other's interests down to the letter, leading to countless sleepovers where we'd whisper and giggle under the covers. And ever since we discovered each other's love of imagining stories and scenarios... you opened up an entire world for me that I could have never possibly imagined. That's right. You were the one who taught me the wonders of roleplaying. That fateful moment dictated the next two years of our friendship. Every day, every night we would take the things we loved and write a new story for them. I was the meek one in the relationship, I'm not afraid to admit. I let you decide on plots, settings; everything. Perhaps that wasn't fair to you, but thankfully, you never seemed to mind it. We both had a good time... right?
That's what I thought; at least before I moved. At first, it seemed as though things wouldn't change between us. You promised you would be there for me, no matter what, and we probably racked up the phone bill to absurd heights with our antics henceforth. Hours upon hours would be spent on the phone, chatting and roleplaying together with ease. Three more years passed like this, and so much happened between us; we got phones with unlimited data, we visited for summers and winter breaks... but most of all, as we grew and matured, we found love.
Yes. Those feelings of admiration had blossomed into something far more beautiful. I was so afraid to be branded a lesbian, but for you, it was worth it.
I was warned against maintaining a long-distance relationship, but I was blinded by stereotypical teenage love. Teenage goopy, romantic, unrealistic love. Sure it was rough going at times, but we both knew we loved each other, and we always shared one crucial thing: interests. Touhou was our love language for years- you were the one who got me into it, and I don't regret it. The series and small-yet-dedicated fandom have influenced my life in so many ways. And the plots we made together were wonderful and breathtaking.
But something has changed. You can feel it too, can't you? We're talking less, our interests are beginning to stray and worst of all... we rarely roleplay anymore. It's as if a switch has been flipped, and the person I love is becoming a stranger. The only soulmate I have ever found and held onto is disappearing from my grasp. Don't you see all of the beautiful things we've shared together? Don't you remember the long nights of plotting and roleplaying? Doesn't it mean anything to you?
I love you, I love you, I love you. But I'm afraid your love is dying. I don't want to lose you and it makes me want to scream with frustration, anger and overall sadness. I poured my heart out to you. And you just... stop? What did I do? What can I do to bring you back?
