RANT Your Brains Out #98274

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When people feel entitled, that a few words or read books means they are better than anyone else. No, it doesn't.
 
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I don't know why you think that I will kind about anything anymore.

No, I don't have time for your stupid questions. Go give someone else brain cancer for once.
No, I don't give a rat's left testicle whether you have health issues.
No, in no way are we friends you mooching piece of batshite.


Go find a rabid bear to hug, he'll be kinder than I ever will be. Am I mean for this? Yes, maybe so. Did I say any of this to you? No, but I did tell you to leave me alone on five other fucking occasions. How was I not clear on this?

Do you just sit around and think, 'Hm, I wonder if I should bother that one guy that always seems to hate it when I talk to him'.

You text me every month, even when i block your number, you find a way. Restraining orders mean nothing to you.

And it is never at a normal time of the day, it's always early in the morning.

Stop. Before you press send stop. Before you think that the first thing I want to see is something you wrote, stop. the only think I am thinking of is the primal rage of your ass waking me up for something stupid.
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it really fucking sucks how i was so confident i finally found myself and knew who i was but SURPRISE you're 25 years old and realizing that the number one reason you're still a huge virgin is because you will never

fucking

ever

be comfortable in your body.

because you were not given the right body.

and you will never let anyone else touch you because it hurts you to think about it. because you'll never be right. and you'll always be uncomfortable in your body. and there's nothing you can do. no amount of starving yourself or working out or surgery will ever change that.

so you might as well just suck it up and be a woman because this was the only fucking life you were given.

suck it up you piece of shit
 
I said I don't like it. That doesn't mean I'll like it tomorrow or the next day or even a year from now. If I explain my reasons why don't grill me on them because you can't accept not everyone likes what you do.
 
Never again will I joke about the rake.


I made a joke and I've seen he creature in my dream for the last couple nights, vividly.


Message taken very well.
 
On the upside, knowing I have Asperger's explains why I suck at socializing.

On the downside, I am now always afraid I'm missing important social cues and no one tells me out of politeness.
 
it's like -28

no

stop 8(
 
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I'm not very happy with my school right now. I enrolled in a course with specific teacher who I was told was a great teacher and that she'd be beneficial to my mathematical development, then they changed it to the exact teacher I told the advisors I didn't want, the one who I couldn't understand in class and never did, no matter how hard he tried. They didn't even notify me about the change. What the fuck? I am not taking him. No. You can't make me.
 
What is depression?


Drinking and getting so high to try and forget who you are and that is the only thing you remember.
 
I am tired. I don't know how else to put it. It has been a real struggle to keep going over the last month or so. My mom and aunt still need me, so I keep pushing on. They are truly the only reason I remain and when they are gone...

I used to think I was a strong person, and maybe I was at one point in my life. That time has long since passed.

I imagine by the time I awake tomorrow I will be fine. At least for awhile, till I reach the point of the night where I am alone with my own thoughts.
 
(whispers)

i'm a huge piece of shit and i hate myself
 
I am ever so grateful for everything that my aunt and uncle have done for me in my parents's stead, but sometimes I feel like I'm a burden to them and that they're a little too harsh with me from time to time. Perhaps this is because I grew up with parents who paid little attention to me, but all the sudden pressure that they have thrown onto me is enough to make me burst.

Can't I just finish my final year of high school without constantly being reminded of the time I broke the trash can?

Yes, I don't pay attention to my surroundings and yes, I underestimate my strength. I don't realize how strong I am because I suppress it even during practice out of fear of hurting someone because I know I am ridiculously strong. As for the paying attention to my surroundings, well, I'm trying to improve that and it's difficult for me because I have ADHD and that is a lifetime issue. I know that I am an intelligent individual and I'm really pushing myself with Honors Physics, AP Government, and all the somewhat easier Honors courses that I'm taking, but sometimes the stress is too much for me and I just want to lay down for a few hours. I feel guilty about the naps, but it's an addiction for me - a way to relieve stress because I'm not much better at dealing with it otherwise. I also can't focus if I'm stressed out and homework becomes more challenging than it needs to be.

And the job. . well, that'll be coming in March, but I really don't want to be thinking about it right now because I'm drowning in schoolwork and college applications as it is. I know when they call me lazy it's because they want me to get up and do something, but all it does is kick me further to the ground. I wish I could communicate these thoughts, but I can't and I refuse to. They have a daughter on the way and I refuse to be anymore of a burden to them.

Once I finish college, I'm vanishing from the lives of all my family forever because I want my aunt and uncle to have a happy life while I think everyone else in my family has their own problems to deal with if they ever want me to speak to them again.
 
Snow. Fan-fucking-tastic. I still need to get home and that includes a 10-15 minute walk on a good day. Right now, it's not a good day. -_-

Maybe I'll cab it, but cabs are stupid expensive.
 
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I try not to fight my Auntie's new boyfriend, but I have no respect for a man who sags his pants to his knees and shows his sh*t-stained boxers to the whole world. And he's coming over the weekend. I know we will eventually get into a fist fight.
 
This isn't Christmas. It's December 7th and I don't even have my Christmas tree up because my roommate decided he was going to take his parents' enormous old television, even though we have no use for it, and it's sitting right in the fucking way of everything, and he still hasn't found anyone to buy it. I almost feel like there's no point in putting it up now. Who cares.

I haven't even thought of Christmas shopping yet.

I'm not living at home where my mother always has the entire house decked out in glorious Christmas decorations. Even though I live maybe 2 miles away, I still feel horribly homesick this time of year.

It's just not Christmas. Christmas used to be my favourite time of the year. It made me so happy. It made me feel so warm and fuzzy. It made me feel like, idk, family. And now I'm 25 and it's not family anymore. Everyone is gone. Everyone has parted ways. My brother will be here for Christmas, but for now, he's still not here, and it doesn't feel right.

And I'm just so sad. I miss Christmas. I miss my Opa. I really miss my Opa. I miss him more right now than I did during the summer, hunting for mushrooms and wishing so deeply that he could still be here teaching me everything and pretending to be a troll under the bridge and patting me on the butt with his cane and then pretending it wasn't him.

I hate this.

And I'm sitting here at work listening to the amazing, beautiful choir they have performing for the residents and I'm about to start sobbing because it reminds me of all the shit I'll never have again.

If they start to sing Ave Maria I will fucking lose it
 
That moment when you find yourself eating Chef Boyardee mac and cheese and you start to question every decision you've made in your entire life that led you to this moment.

I'm not sure what I just put into my body, but it wasn't food.

Also, it popped its lid off, toppled over, and spilled all over the goddamn place in the microwave. That was great.
 
It's a little irritating when the tiniest thing that is really, really dumb triggers you every freaking time.

*hums Let it Go*
 
being given something to type up by your boss that's been written by a physician

??? what the fuck does half of this say

is this even English
 
I was forced to push out a project I hadn't touched in 2 months. I told him I hadn't looked at it. But No, he wanted it out today. And while I'm running around trying to put out fires I get my other project flaring up. She got so pissed that I told her where to check and that I couldn't hunt it down right then that four hours later she calls my boss and I get scolded. JUST as I sat down to write her an email apologizing for my curt reply earlier and was going to tell her what was going on. And now I'm paranoid that I might lose my job because I've had TWO projects fail at going out. I wish I wasn't such a fuck up at everything.
 
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