"I dont know. I think this has...hardened me as a person. All of this. I feel--detatched, oddly okay with everything now. Its what we have to do so we do it. No point in being freaked out. Because it is what it is and if we dont do it we might die. Its easier to just do it and keep your emotions at bay. Kind of makes me feel like i'm a cold person. But I'm not. Theres a part of me like you that refuses to forget the pain and the suffering this has all caused to me and everyone else. Its unforgettable and--well I dont think this is something we ever get over. Just learn to leave it in the past. That is if we make it."
Maybe, if she survived she would end up living a normal life after this, that she would be okay. With no remorse for her actions, no fear for the future. Not being scared looking over her shoulders. She would just go back to normal and live her life as she had. Ignoring this all happened, as a distance yet horrifying memory.
Or it would change her forever making her jumpy and broken person. Maybe a mixture of the two would happen. It was hard to say how you would live on if you surivied such an ordeal.
Anything can happen, all she was hoping was that she could survive this chapter, let alone the rest.
"Regardless of what happens in the future, to have it we need a severed head."