Magical Vending Machine

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You get the bag of dicks from that one thread

I insert my DVD player
 
Out comes a pile of DVD's that would make your mother question what went wrong.

I insert MetalGreymon.
 
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Out comes a Tyrantrum cyborg, not looking happy.

I insert an empty Pokéball.
 
You get a shiny legendary! Cool!

I insert another vending machine.
 
The machine burps , and spits out some bread crust.

I insert an Oscar.
 
Leonardo DiCaprio lunges out from the insert receptacle, trying to grab the Oscar. You, (quite understandably) flee in fear with the award, leaving poor Leo Oscar-less yet again.

I insert schadenfreude.
 
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The machine is very disappointed. Then proceeds to jump on your foot.

I insert oil. Not in a can, just oil, straight in there.
 
You get a can of soda, white and tasteless.

I insert 200$ in pennies.
 
You get back $20,000 in pennies. You are also buried under all those pennies.

I insert Donald Trump into the machine.
 
you get Babymetal

/me inserts a proofreading handbook from 1985
 
You get a multiplication table from the early 1900's.

I insert an entire courtroom, plank for plank.
 
You get Phoenix Wright's limbs.

I insert Pikachu
 
You get one of every single Pokémon, and the machine now calls itself your mom.

I insert Iwaku's main (or only, I don't know) server.
 
After several minutes of sounds of flowing water, the dishes come out. Clean, but at ridicolous speeds.

I insert Fight Club.
 
The Vending Machine asks you kindly not to speak of it to anyone, which makes you ask the question "What is this machine? Is it really even real? Am I?" Then a copy of the Fight Club soundtrack shoots out so fast that it knocks you over, with your feet in the air and your head on the ground.

I insert a yellow steam roller.
 
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You get a flattened banana

I inserted 1999
 
The machine is confused as to how you managed to breaak the laws of physics and insert a stretch of time, but shrugs and spits out some colorful, neon/metallic clothing.

I insert myself. I literally dive into the machine.
 
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