Magical Vending Machine

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Minibit

Minibit

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Bored? Why not use the Magical Vending Machine? It's easy.

The person before you has put something in the machine. Tell them what they got, and then put something in yourself.
What you put in and what you get out can be absolutely anything. Here's an example

A: *puts in a bootleg Ghostbusters DVD*

B: You got a shiny golden dick and balls. It is roughly a meter in total length, and impossible to carry away inconspicuously.
*inserts my high school diploma*

C: You get an entry level job
*inserts the Homestuck Fandom*

D: You get a genie, who grants you three wishes but twists them to cause chaos every time.
*inserts an old shoe*

et cetera. Use your imaginations and have fun with it!


I shall start this party, as per tradition, by inserting a regular old quarter.
 
The machine malfunctions and starts spitting out a bunch of quarters rapid fire, breaking glass around you, and causing injury.

I insert the United Nations.
 
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The Machine spits out someone else's memories of Model UN.

I insert a post-it note.
 
You receive piles and piles of yaoi doujinshi, none of it translated or censored.

I insert my entire collection of souvenier keychains
 
You receive a bunch of keychains, with none of them having the correct spelling of your name

*Inserts a Justin Bieber album*
 
You begin to hear a sound like a paper shredder, and the machine gives you a blank CD.

I insert three drops of blood, my firstborn son, and a virgin.
 
You receive a relatively decent meal.

I insert my TV
 
You get a random sequence of blinking lights and beeping sounds playing the theme to your favorite show. It seems like it's trying to act like a TV!


Insert a Chinese yuan.
 
You get a bottle Shark! RUN LIKE HELL!
I insert an all female K-Pop group.
 
You get a signed album from the Spice Girls

I insert my Media Theory textbook
 
You get the base for Aluminum. Good job.

I insert a North Korean nuclear missile.
 
The vending machine falls over and explodes, to the amusement of all. Good old North Korean engineering!

I insert a Star Wars lunch box.
 
You get a peanut butter banana sandwich. It was originally two separate things, but the compression in those metal lunchboxes...

I insert a suit of T-51B Power Armor.
 
There's a grinding sound coming from the vending machine as it spits out half of a X-01 frame and half raider power armor (or just scrap). There is no helmet. Sorry.

I insert a bucket.
 
You get an X-01 power armor helmet.

I insert MORE DAKKA!
 
The vending machine inexplicably sprouts guns and starts firing wildly, being propelled out a window by the recoil. It flies off into the sunset, gunning down all the wildlife and people along the way.

I insert a shitpost. (Amidoinitrite?)
 
And out comes the earlier inserted Homestuck, just in the form of countless fanarts.

I insert, not a can of soda, but a bicycle.
 
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