Ethical Question

Can you?

  • Mos Def

    Votes: 14 46.7%
  • No

    Votes: 16 53.3%

  • Total voters
    30
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When I like to pretend I'm a big black independent woman I call my friends Nigga. I think as long as you're not using it in a mean way, go ahead and NIGGA it up dawg
 
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Becouse there is a big fucking difference when it comes from someone who is from the other side of that ugly history. It is the same reason i physically flinch when straight people say shit like "Faggot" near me IRL. Words carry alot of weight. And that weight vary from person to person. One doesn't just shrug of the meaning of the word. It's the same reason my mother gets visibly upset if guys use mysoginist slur and language around her.

A group that is reclaiming or making a slur a title of endearment is not a invititation for everyone to use it. It is a defence mechanism. The scar are clearly still there. Yes, some people like Sam might push for people to relax around it. But he obviusly do not speak for everyone. Basic empathy people. Put yourself in other peoples shoes. A white person is not less off becouse she or he cannot use a slur with heavy, heavy cannotations.
I'm comfortable with using faggot or dyke as a term of endearment because it spits in the face of the people who intend to use those words to hurt me. That's the exact definition of reclaiming.

If a straight person called me a dyke without permission, even playfully, I would definitely be uncomfortable and make a mental note to avoid that person--it's not because of the word, it's because that straight person has not "earned" the right to use that word. They've never been bullied, stared at, joked about all the time, had to keep from showing any affection in public. Odds are they haven't been told they're going to hell from both peers and mentors. I think black people are allowed to have one goddamn word to themselves.

I don't speak for all LGBT people, and I definitely don't speak for black people. Just my two cents.
 
If we need to start 'earning' the right to words. That's going to divide all us niggas faster than anything.

Especially if the 'earn' is being determined by race, sexuality etc. And not, you know, what they've actually been through in life. :/
Humanity's already got a fire of division going, why do we need to add more fagot to the fire?
 
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Gwazi. About the whole, "I hate the shit starters to". You are one of them. This comment is why. That is all.
 
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Gwazi. About the whole, "I hate the shit starters to". You are one of them. This comment is why. That is all.
Probably should have taken this to private messages mate. The moment people go into personal attacks, that's when the @Grumpy strikes.

One of @Diana 's owls die every time we do this. Let's not. Take personal beefs elsewhere, my brotha from a viking motha.
 
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.... these things kill my owls?! D:<
 
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If we need to start 'earning' the right to words. That's going to divide all us niggas faster than anything.

Especially if the 'earn' is being determined by race, sexuality etc. And not, you know, what they've actually been through in life. :/
Humanity's already got a fire of division going, why do we need to add more fagot to the fire?
Okay, Gwazi, I get what you're going for. I understand the concerns over splitting hairs between race and sexuality and whatever. But race and sexuality are sort of big determinations by themselves. A black man is most likely going to be treated differently and go through life with a different flavor of background noise, just like a lesbian is going to have a different high school experience from a straight girl--that's how things are today. We can unite under one banner as humans and all, but you have to respect that we are also different people who come from different circumstances. You come off as really socially irresponsible when you take it upon yourself to sling around phrases that people have fought hard to reclaim.

(PS the dictionary definition will always pale in relevance to popular connotation, them's the breaks)
 
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You come off as really socially irresponsible
Like Brovo already said, let's avoid personal attacks here.

I'm all for discussing this idea, for as much I'm trying to avoid debates lately this topic specifically is one that is constantly becoming more and more relevant in society, and thus I think does need some serious, honest, respectful and open discussion.
A black man is most likely going to be treated differently and go through life with a different flavor of background noise, just like a lesbian is going to have a different high school experience from a straight girl--that's how things are today.
Yes, this is true. But at that point it becomes a question of if we want to use that as reason to treat each other differently over it, or if we want to want to break the division and view everyone on the same level.

I just happen to in the latter position, to the point that I feel it goes both ways.
We can unite under one banner as humans and all, but you have to respect that we are also different people who come from different circumstances.
No disagreements there. But that's what (for me personally) it ultimately comes down to, respect.

Respect would be saying "I know you find this a personal topic, so I would say it when near you, of my own volition".
Meanwhile there isn't any respect happening when people start trying to ban entire demographics from using certain words.
No one is (or very few people are) stepping up there and saying "I get you don't like this, so I'll stop".

They're simply being intimated into not saying it, and over something such as how they were born.
PS the dictionary definition will always pale in relevance to popular connotation
I know. I purposely linked to the original definition so there'd be no confusion.
Cause I knew full well if I didn't people would just assume I made a typo and think I was attacking Gay people.
 
Probably should have taken this to private messages mate. The moment people go into personal attacks, that's when the @Grumpy strikes.

One of @Diana 's owls die every time we do this. Let's not. Take personal beefs elsewhere, my brotha from a viking motha.
Fair enough. BUt it was such a inflammatory and obviously provoking comment.
 
Like Brovo already said, let's avoid personal attacks here.
Sorry, I meant the general "you". Thanks for catching that.
Meanwhile there isn't any respect happening when people start trying to ban entire demographics from using certain words.
No one is (or very few people are) stepping up there and saying "I get you don't like this, so I'll stop".

They're simply being intimated into not saying it, and over something such as how they were born.
Again, I have to say that it isn't a lack of respect on the reclaimer's part when they don't like people outside of the affected group using certain words. Maybe the person slinging those words around should show a little more respect for people's boundaries?

But anyway, as we've seen, there are people from many oppressed groups who have no problem with reclaimed slurs being used around them, me included. I think we can both agree that it just comes down to asking and not being an asshole--like I said, if someone asks permission and I trust them, they can call me whatever they want (in a friendly way, of course).

I hope I live to see the day when everyone is totally equal and we can poke fun at and shove each other around without worrying about barriers. But progress will be slow, and history leaves marks that are still healing.
 
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... Do you need a hug?
 
See, Koori doesn't post in a thread.

Koori happens to a thread.
Pretty much. I admit not really understanding most of them either. I don't think I'm at that particular level, and if I'm to ever understand, I may either need a translator or for her to speak at my level.
 
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