Thanks for posting! It looks great except for a number of grammatical and other mistakes, but we can help you fix that!
- Capitalization. Sometimes you do it, sometimes you don't. Reading through your CS, I found some words to be capitalized that shouldn't be (words like "making"), and vice versa. Always capitalize nouns and pronouns. Please do fix those mistakes as they are throughout your CS.
- Spacing. Make sure you only hit that spacebar when necessary. For example, in the following sentence located under your 'Other' section, you space after result: "Iris, as a result , is developing a rebel attitude . . .". Commas go right after a word. There are a few other spots where you mess up a bit here, but nothing too major.
Those are the most common mistakes you made. The other mistakes you made were simply the incorrect usage of words (tense, upon instead of on, etc.). Please reread through your CS and check for these mistakes. We both like it when CS's and roleplay posts are mostly clean of grammatical and other errors, and will always help you out to find them. However, if it's minor, we usually just let it go.
I need to ask
@Henri for rooming and job positions, so I'll let you know when she's available.
Sorry if that scared you somehow, but I'm only trying to help, I promise ^u^. After you are done cleaning up these mistakes, then I will accept you and you will be allowed to post in the IC. Thanks!