Corrupt a Wish

  • Thread starter IntrusivePenDesperateSword
  • Start date
Granted, but it's Jorick, explaining how it needs to be locked due to things getting out of control.

I wish for every single thread in the archives to be unlocked and revived.
 
Granted, but it's only for one day, after which the entire forum closes down permanently.

I wish I could go back in time and kill my grandfather as a young child, destroying the universe from the resulting paradox.
 
Your wish has been sort of granted- we allowed you to kill your grandfather and make the universe, except by killing your grandfather, you stopped yourself from existing which in turn stopped the destruction of the universe and instead, you are trapped in a loop of killing your grandfather, never achiecing your goal. ( Or something like that, time travel messes with the mind)

I wish to disappear,
 
Granted! You disappear, but you're only invisible. People can still bump into you and you can be a nuisance to all kinds of people. But as a result of this, the government tries to hunt you down so you cannot secretly infiltrate it and reveal its deepest and darkest secrets. So you live out the rest of your life as an invisible fugitive. You have no place to live because no one can see you and if you do anything but not exist, people will just think they're going crazy. But you might make a good imaginary friend for a lonely child?

I wish to exist in a land where every person is made of chocolate and they cannot melt because of any heating source, cannot crack from any cooling or piercing source, and overall, cannot die with the exception of being eaten.
 
The world devolves into rampant cannibalism, as everyone loves to eat chocolate. Hungry homeless people also eat themselves for sustenance.

I wish for the ability to perfectly pop any bag of popcorn to ensure no kernels remain.
 
Granted. However, popcorn is the only thing you're allowed to eat for the rest of your life.

I wish everything was in the color of every shades of purple. Everything.
 
Granted. The world now looks similar to what it'd have been if every single thing with eyes capable of detecting color was red-blue colorblind. Traffic hardly works due to stop lights barely functioning. Everything just generally is hard to distinguish from everything else.

Oh yes, pollination. As all flowers are the same color, no one catches the interest of pollinating bees and other insects more than any other, and as such, either they die out due to lack of spreading spores, or they fail to adapt because all members of their species are equally pollinated.

I wish for a spell that once spoken, caused a large amount of slices of coconut cream pie to fall from the sky.
 
Granted! However, the spell will only work once. And once you use it, you will become a coconut cream pie.

I wish for the juice of pomegranates.
 
You got the juice of pomegranates and before you know it, you are in the underworld, trapped there forever. We forgot to tell you this, but we got the pomegranates from the underworld and drinking it leaves you transported there, but hey, you don't have to deal with the real world anymore.

I wish for this wish to not be granted.
 
We're sorry, but since you didn't wish for anything specific your wish could not be processed at this time. Thank you for your patience.

I wish for everyone in the world to have one wish, which can only have a positive impact on the world.
 
Granted. However, as morals are largely subjective, people wish for what they think is positive for the world, rapidly leading to chaos and a million super-people that really can't be called heroes.

I wish for every wish from now on to never put into effect anything that isn't mentioned in the wish.
 
Your wish has been granted- but due to the parameters of said wish, it undoes itself negating it entirely. Thanks for wasting a wish.

I wish for a paradox.
 
Granted. You eat a cake, but you also lose your mouth. How you ate that cake without a mouth is the paradox. It doesn't destroy the universe, you just look really awkward. And inhuman.

I wish for a collection of books on various, useful (to me) forms of knowledge, to be legally and ethically donated to my household, all of which wholly accept me reading said books at my leisure.
 
Congrats, all these books are donated to your house, however, once they are delivered, you lose all ability to read and see words making the books entirely usely.

I wish for the above wish to not be ruined, but yet still be ruined.
 
Granted. The wish above your wish will not be ruined, yet still be ruined at the same time. Unfortunately, it's started a time paradox and now the universe has begun to collapse in on itself. Jerk.

I wish I could see through lies.
 
Granted. You can see through lies but the realisation that everyone lies to you leaves you in a crippling depression that not even a therapist can fix because GUESS WHAT they lie too and you know it.

I wish that every dog and cat in the world would be adopted.
 
Granted. However, people would have to fight to the death in order adopt any dog and/or cat they want. Once everyone has died, there's no one to adopt those animals anymore.

I wish my brother would disappear.
 
Congrats, your brother has disappeared. Too bad it is the brother who has yet to be born to your parents. He will not exist and before you ever got to know him. But your wish has been granted.

I wish for a wish to be ruined.
 
Granted, but it's this one, causing it not to be ruined, which in turn makes it ruined, and at this point I guess there is no surprise this caused a paradox.

I wish that for as long as that the labour market stays roughly like it is now, I can never be denied a job, yet I will still have complete choice in the matter of which job I'll pick.
 
Granted, but as your wish simply specifies for its effects to only persist as long as the labor market remains in the status quo, yet doesn't address the fact that the market is constantly changing, the market shall simply change and the wish will lose any potential benefit.

I wish for three more hours in a day.
 
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