Corrupt a Wish

Granted, as the ashes drift down to the ground they gradually begin to reform back into a delicious slice of pie. When the process completes, the pie is still very high up in the air and begins to fall quite rapidly... right into your face, which would be comical if it hadn't smashed your skull in, killing you instantly.

I wish for this wish to be corrupted.
 
Granted! Wait... Is there even a wish at this point? The universe has decided that the answer to that question is no.

I wish for my great-great-great-great grandmother's corpse to be checked for lice.
 
Granted. She has no lice. She does have a lot of worms, however.

I wish for all my dice rolls to return the highest possible number with said dice.
 
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Granted! Your dice always return the highest possible number! The only thing you didn't account for is that the dice you have are actually just an illusion you created by yourself because you have horrible luck with dice~ As such, the highest result you can ever return is 0!

I wish for a bathtub full of rubber duckies! :D
 
You got a bathtub full of rubber duckies. Too bad the rubber duckies are the size of your house and destroyed everything.

I wish for a delivery box playing piano.
 
Granted, as the ashes drift down to the ground they gradually begin to reform back into a delicious slice of pie. When the process completes, the pie is still very high up in the air and begins to fall quite rapidly... right into your face, which would be comical if it hadn't smashed your skull in, killing you instantly.
r = 10,16 cm = 8 in
αangle​ = 360/8 = 45 deg

AG​ = 3,14 * 10,162​ = 324,128 cm2​
VPie​ = 324,128 * 2,54 = 823,285 cm3​
divided by eight for one slice gives 102,91 cm3​
Whipped cream has a density of 0,25 g/cm3​
25,73 g if the slice was all cream, apparently the crust alone weighs 100 g
So 100/8 + 25,73 g for the whole slice = 38,23 g

Air pressure at 100 m.a.o. = 102,5 kPa
Which gives an air density of just over 1,2
DC = approx 0,61, somewhere between cube and hemisphere
v = √(750,07/(1,21*projected Area*0,61))
v = √(9,875) = 3,14 m/s if the slice lands bottom first
OR
v = √(78,7888) = 8,876 m/s if it lands tip first, which I find most accurate.

PA = 5,08 * 2,54 = 12,9 cm2​


I = 0,95 * 8,876 * 0,3823 / 0,075 = 42,98 N
Force needed to tear through muscle, much less bone = 996,4 N

Granted, a sentient crate for delivering objects playing a piano is suspended over you, classic cartoon style, in a tightrope. Oops, it snapped.

I wish for mastery in all mathematics.
 
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  • Nice Execution!
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Granted, but in a twist of fate and reality, logic is hereby removed from the world. But you are stuck with it. You will be forced to write out complex equations in a world where two plus two equals seven and the square root of pi is delicious.

Speaking of pie... as you walk down the purple streets and wait at the periwinkle stoplight, you hear a whistling sound above your head. It gets louder and louder. But by the time you look up.. it's too late.

Your skull has been crushed by a slice of pie. ;)

I wish I could stop and restart time, never aging inside of my little 'bubble.'
 
Your wish has been granted for a split second. Sadly, once the second is over, his smart-assery becomes quadrupled what it originally was. We are sorry.

I wish for happiness.
 
Granted! However, your happiness comes in the forms of seeing other people happy, so... Your happiness lasts for only about three seconds before your grandmother comes raging about how her pie suddenly took off into the sky.

I wish for world peace, only caused through the mutual agreement that noodles are superior to human beings.
 
Your wish has been granted and the noodles take over and make us their slaves. The peace is short-lived when humans revolt and the noodles fight for their freedom. Everything is destroyed and all because of that one meddling peace keeper.

I wish for a city of stars.
 
Granted! You see tons of clones of me in a city~

I wish for a pointless argument that is led by complete misunderstanding.
 
Granted, the argument is between two government superpowers, which quickly escalates into nuclear war, resulting in total annihilation of Earth's surface and all life as we know it.

I wish we all lived in a computer simulation.
 
Granted! However, the computer simulation was created in the 1990s and is... Very special.

I wish that I could have a vending machine that could give me whatever I wanted when I put a quarter into it.
 
Granted. However, quarters are herefrom banned, and anyone caught in possession of one is fined.

I wish for my habit of doing unnecessary math to be tolerated.
 
Granted, a new law is passed forcing you to do nothing but unnecessary math problems for the rest of your days, depriving you of all leisure time. That counts as tolerance, right?
(just for the record, I actually found it to be quite amusing and got a good laugh out of it)

I wish the universe was made out of candy.
 
Granted. All and every atom is converted into the respective kinds to form infinitely repeating candy for as long as there isn't vacuum. While this makes up little compared to all of space, neither your body nor the air it breathes is anything but candy anymore.

I wish for a regular, hollow cylinder with a diameter of 4 centimeters and a height of 10 centimeters, with walls of glass 0.4 centimeters thick, filled with liquid water, with only water mulecules in it, the entire setup with normal density for a "glass of water" as known by english-speaking Homo Sapiens on the planet Earth, at a temperature of 1° Celsius, to appear on top of the wooden, roughly flat surface perpendicular to my line of sight, without anything else unspecified appearing, nor any person objecting or interfering with my consumption of the water.
 
Granted, you now have a hollow glass cylinder filled with ice cold water. The glass is made out of the finest material possible and is virtually indestructible. However, there's is no hole from which you may access the water, since you did not specify that there should be one.

I wish for the sky on planet Earth to be coloured purple.
 
Granted, but the purple coloration is caused by a buildup of toxic gasses in the atmosphere. No one can breathe the putrid air and as a direct result of that, everyone either has to move to another planet or the entire human population goes extinct.

I wish I was completely indestructible.
 
Your wish has been granted,however despite being indestructible you still feel pain and experience things as if you weren't indestructible. You are locked ip and studied due to the strange phenomen.

I wish for someone to respond to this thread.