Corrupt a Wish

  • Thread starter IntrusivePenDesperateSword
  • Start date
You get all the cats and then suffer a terrible allegoric reaction from all the cats and die. Turns out you were allergic to cats.

I wish for a squirrel.
 
Granted. It has rabies, and claws out your eyes.

I wish for everyone's non-conflicting values to be fulfilled.
 
This is granted, however, once all the non-conflicting values are fulfilled, they cause conflicts and slowly destroy the world.... one small non-conflict value.

I wish for magic.
 
Granted. Everyone below five years of age are capable of casting fire from their fingertips as soon as they have any. Few women survive pregnancy, and the human race dies out quickly after.

I wish for Pokémon to exist in the real world, although all of them docile.
 
Granted, but you have no means of catching any, save with a very strong net. And they are only located on a private preserve in Africa, namely Botswana. Prepare your passport and pack a nice length of rope to scale the barbed-wire fence.

I wish that no one ever needed sleep. And that they couldn't get tired.
 
Granted. You know, there are other reasons to sleep than rest. People are all hype, all the time, as they can't tire. However, having a lot of adrenaline constantly, people's metabolism constantly slow, until the point that the only reminder you have that you need to calm down, is a stinging pain as everyone's stomachs fill.

I wish for everyone's reading speed to quadruple.
 
Your wish has been granted. Everyone's reading speed has quadrupled, but sadly, their understanding has not. Most of these people read so fast, but don't understand a word of what they read. Due to this arguments are mad and eventually, the whole world enters a war due to their inability to comphrend anything.

I wish for a million dishes.
 
Granted. One million servings of cake are delivered, forcefully, to your throat. You choke.

I wish for everyone to fully understand and tolerate different ethics and morals than their own, in addition to their own, of course.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Sumirenko
Granted, but unfortunately, it is cosmically impossible to make the prejudiced people of this world that tolerant and understanding. Human beings with all of their complex thoughts, feelings and emotions have been at war with one another since the beginning of the world. The above powers have tried their best, but even in all their might, humans themselves cannot be changed. But fret not! They have found an alternative solution.

All human beings are henceforth transformed into very tolerant vegetables.

...Hey, they did their best.

I wish that whenever I had the craving for a specific kind of food, it would appear in front of me in infinite quantities; i.e an unlimited bowl/plate of said food.
 
  • Like
Reactions: IntrusivePenDesperateSword
Congrats, whenever you get food, it appears in infinite quanties and it never ends... like literally. Every time you take a bite, it never ends and is only replaced when you get a new craving and then that never ends. You can never get up to do anything and are forever eating until you die of sores from sitting for so long.

I wish for a rock.
 
Granted, you get a three ton rock, neatly perched atop your head.

I wish for a positive integer larger than three extra wishes.
 
Granted. You essentially have as many wishes as you want. But each one has a negative effect just as this one, which makes your wish far less valuable and even dangerous. Further more, each time you wish for something, the negative effect grows stronger, thus making you lose more than you could ever gain.

I wish to be a great novelist
 
Granted, but you are such a great novelist, all of the other authors and creators are overcome with jealousy and go on strike. That means no more movies, no more great works of art and worst of all: no more books. You will be pressured to produce content for a ravenous audience until the day you die, while all of your own pastimes have been ripped away from you.

I wish that I could summon cash at will. And no, it can't explode or burst into flames.
 
You can summon cash and it doesn't explode or burst into flames. Instead each time you summon cash, you burst into flames and sometimes explode, after three or so attempts, you are burned alive, but hey, the cash was good. :)

I wish for a superpower.
 
Granted. You harness the incredible power of... spontaneous combustion. Yep. You have a built-in self destruct button to use at will! Sadly, you won't be able to survive the process.

Hey, karma bites. Not my fault. ;)

I wish everyone shared my interests.
 
  • Nice Execution!
Reactions: LuckycoolHawk9
Granted, now absolutely everyone on earth shares your interests of eating, not being eaten, and reproduction.

Several times stronger than before.

I wish for an A.I. whose goal wouldn't include the destruction of humans or our other works, to be made within this year.
 
An AI is built and it doesn't want to destroy humanity or our works, it instead wants to destroy itself and will got out of way to break itself. Sorry, but it couldn't function otherwise.

I wish for a tree.
 
I thought we had been through this. Granted, it grows through the middle of your living room, tearing your house to shreds.

I wish trees had sentience and some, limited form of vision.
 
Granted! Trees have sentience and have a limited form of vision, but now that they have gained this, Big Brother is now actually always watching.

I wish for a delicious slice of coconut cream pie!
 
Granted. A delicious slice of coconut cream pie of your liking is poofed into existence just outside the atmosphere. Once falling to a decent size above the earth, it both instantly freezes and catches fire, gracefully showering your house in ashes.

I wish for said ashes to combine and transmute into a delicious slice of pie once more.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom
Back