Corrupt-A-Wish Thread

[HerrBlitzkrieg]

Granted but well you are torched.
I wish I had a long schlong

 

[Layne]

Granted but it's in your mouth.

I wish I had a new pair of shoes.

 

[Karsikan the Berzerker]

Granted but it's twelve feet long and three feet in diameter, making it impossible to penetrate a woman or even masturbate



I wish I had an entire basement full of quality beer.

 

[Missywolfchild]

Granted but the shoes have spikes in them so you can't wear them
Granted but you can't get into the basement any more

I wish for my concentration to be better

 

[Iliana]

Granted, but you have turned into Professor Xavier and are now BALD.

I wish I could find love.

 

[Lupine]

Granted but you are in love with a burger that someone is about to finish eating.

I wish I could win the lottery.

 

[sillywolf]

Granted but you lost the winning ticket.

I wish I could control the elements

 

[Angelic_Devil]

Wish granted but every time you use your power someone you look or persous to you is killled to taken away forever.

I wish I could get a cake.

 

[Fëadúr]

You get a cake filled with maggots, getting eaten by an ant colony.

I wish I'd get a castle.

 

[Lupine]

Wish granted. You get a sand castle on a beach about to be hit with a tsunami.

I wish I was a werewolf.

 

[Fëadúr]

The exact moment you turn into a werewolf, a monster hunter appears in front of you and puts a silver bullet between your eyes.

I wish I'd be a kenjutsu master.

 

[sillywolf]

Granted but every sword you pick up breaks in your hands

I wish I could read minds.

 

[Fëadúr]

Granted, but you find out everyone else is brain dead.

I wish I'd be the most awesomly amazing person in the universe.

 

[Lupine]

Granted but you sucked into a blackhole.

I wish for world peace

 

[Fëadúr]

We nuke ourselves into oblivion. Wish granted.

I wish I'd have my very own personal and loyal army.

 

[Karsikan the Berzerker]

Granted, however they are an army of pansies.

I wish I had a barrel full of nuclear waste

 

[Lupine]

Granted but it is in Gibs's crypt.

I wish light pollution didn't exist on Earth.

 

[Fëadúr]

Granted. You're back in stone age.

I wish I could sleep for 12h/day minimum.

 

[Ai]

Granted, I killed you.

I wish I did not to have seven wives.

 

[Karsikan the Berzerker]

Granted, your eight wife is this

I wish I had a barrel of nuclear waste
(If you knew what i was going to do with it, you'd understand why that was a shit answer)