Corrupt-A-Wish Thread

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Granted, however the first time you open it you learn that it spews forth an infinite amount of dirt and buries you alive


I wish i had a vial of tiger blood and cocaine
 
granted but befor you can open it charlie sheen steals it from you and yells WINNING

i wish i had a 300lbs gold bar
 
Granted but once you touch it it turns into dust and gets blow away into the ocean.

I wish I had ice cream.
 
Granted, but it's poisoned so you will die if you eat it

I wish I won one million dollars
 
Granted, however it's pre WWII and that will barely buy a slice of bread
 
....I get my shit with no repercussions, apparently.

I wish my hair was longer.
 
Your wish is granted, but it get burned off in a fire started by a cat.

I wish I had food.
 
YOu now have food...That will ignite your bowels like a raging Sun God, boiling in anger as he attempt to violently erupt from his flesh prison.

I wish I had a rabbit in hat with a 64 Impala.
 
Granted, however the hat is a hipster trucker hat, the rabbit pisses on you at every opportunity, and the impala get's impounded


I wish I had a legion of clean hookers.
 
Granted but they must sacrifice your cock to their God in order to remain pure.

I wish I had more battery life.
 
Granted, but now you have to deal with a vivacious animate battery playing hopscotch with your electronic devices.

I wish lawn grass never died ... :{
 
Granted, your lawn grass never dies, instead becomes super thick and sharp and slices and dices all the birds and squirrels that land in or jump in creating a massive blood bath of cute and fuzzy death.


I wish I had a pack of cigarettes.
 
granted, they're afghan cigarettes


I wish i had a pair of singing boobs mounted on my wall
 
Granted, but they only sing Rebecca Black.

I wish I had had a sandwich.
 
Granted, but I peed on it



I wish i had an angl
 
Granted, but you have no lower body strength. >:]

I wish I had the best video game in the world.
 
Granted, but I have scratched the CD so it can't be read by any device.

I wish I had a guide for better writing.
 
Granted! But your guide is written in an ancient Grecian dialect which nobody has yet figured out - Good luck with that!

I wish everything in my life was perfect for the rest of my life!
 
Granted! But I killed you straight away.

I wish I had a flying dinosaur.
 
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