Corrupt-A-Wish Thread

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Original poster
I'll post a wish, then you come along and grant it in such a way that totally ruins it, and then post your own!


Wish: I wish I had a million dollars.

Answer: You get a million dollars, but then you're immediately arrested for bank robbery and get thrown in jail and become Bubba's girlfriend.

Get it? Okay! Let's go!

I wish I had a batch of cookies.
You get your batch of cookies, only to find out they're contaminated with an addictive substance. You become addict to these cookies, and thus morbidly overweight in a short period of time. You can't recover your healthy body never again. Ha, ha, ha...

I wish I could fly.
You gain the ability to fly, and are immediately sucked into a passing airline's jet intake.

I wish I had a Harley.
You get a job, only you're suspected of embessling and gets fired, loose your money in the long law suit to prove your innocence and has to live on the streets.

I wish I could travel to another country.
You go to europe, only to get robbed, raped, herpes, arrested, and sent to prison for a crime you didn't commit.

I wish i had an angel for one moment of love.
Granted but after the moment is over you get raped and thrown in to a dark room and becomes a prisoner to the angel who turn in to a devil.

I wish I lived in japan :D
You live in Japan for one day before getting eaten by Godzilla!

I wish I had a gourmet meal.
You get a gourmet meal but if you eat it you will die.

I wish I had a cat :D
You get a cute little cat that is really a little devil that climbs all over, knocks down things from shelves and attacks all that moves and stands still.

I wish I could visit the annual flower viewing, Hanami, in Japan.
granted, but as you get there it all burns down to the ground.

I wish I had one miljon dollars :D
You get your million dollars, but that makes you a target for thieves and any sort of criminals wherever you go.
And you get robbed of course.

I wish everything happened just the way I want it.
It does, for the first five minutes, then your every wish is corrupted and turned into your own nightmare made reality.

I wish I had a beer.
It's warm Pabst Blue Ribbon.

I wish I had a faster internet connection that wasn't expensive.
Only works with Internet Explorer.

I wish I had an easy job that paid well.
You get an easy, pay-well job, but your boss is a horny old man who loves to touch others in dark closets... Which is where you are sent to often.

I wish I had an idea about what to write a book about. :P
You get an idea but the idea suck so much so everyone that reads the book tries to kill you

I wish I had all manga books in the world :D
You become a hoarder and are eventually buried alive under a pile of books.

I wish I could stay in bed all day.
You stay, until you realize you can't move away. Not even to the toilet; you end up messing yourself badly, really badly.

I wish I could stay young forever.
You end up living forever, seeing all those you love age and die leaving you all alone until the end of days.

I wish I had my own dragon.
You get a dragon but ten seconds after you got it the dragon eats you alive.

I wish war didn't excist :D
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