- Invitation Status
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- Speed of Light
- Multiple posts per day
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- All the time, hueh.
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- Intermediate
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- Genres
- Anything. Depends on my mood.
"It has to pass..." He hissed out, as if uttering an angry prayer - but there were no gods to hear him, what god would heed a vampire's call? Killian reached out and wrapped his arms around Henry's legs, pressing his bloody face into the space below the male's knees, tucking his nose against fine tibia, and ligaments - clutching the limbs tightly enough to feel the warmth of the human against his cold, cold and tired flesh. "I'm sorry..." God, how pathetic he must have looked - on his knees and holding onto the boy before him like a child held onto their mother's skirts. "I'm sorry..." It was beginning again: the lowest point of the cycle, triggered by his failure in killing Clementine.
It usually happened away from prying eyes and keen ears. He would be alone like this, but now, Henry was there to bear witness to the crumbling of his walls. Just like all men who bear a front, who hide the truth and lie in the face of both others and themselves, he could not keep his weakness a secret any long in that moment. The lack of confidence poured out - Killian was just another leech like a the others, he was just another thing that went bump in the night, and there would be no redemption for his soul. God, how it wore down on him - countless sins, countless killings, countless partners in his bed, and it...
All of that was his form of self-harm, all of it. And he was to weak to see the degradation of his morality, the collapsing of his soul, and his values. Killian thought that with the plunderings, perversion, and opium, he would grow confident in himself - he held so much power... And yet, all it did was make him feel all the more weak in secret depths of his heart. The lies were crumbling around him. Out poured the gold of his soul, the yoke of his feelings from the cracked shell of his outward appearance. "I don't really want to hurt you, not really... Don't leave me alone, Henry. I'm no fiend, I'm no demon..."
I am lonely.[/fieldbox]
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