Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea

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"Yo, dude, chill out, would 'ya? It's a bit annoying he hasn't mentioned me, I would have thought he would, but if he's got a nice wife now, I guess he wouldn't have thought much about lil' old me," mused the tall man calmly after getting to his feet to snatch the priest's hand and offering him a polite handshake, whilst making sure to avoid the Holy Cross along his neck. After all, the stranger was a demon, having arrived as a demand from Makai's father who had clearly come to the end of his tether and his patience, hence the drastic measure he was taking by sending the demon to the human realm. However, the demon himself was personally invested in the situation, and his soft pout at the comment of marriage spoke volumes.

"Fuck it, I'll tell you who I am. I'm his boyfriend, it sort of sucks that he's abandoned me like I was shit, but hey, the guy's a class-A asshole at times," laughed Azaiah, albeit with a bitter tone to his words now, until taking into account the priest fully. "You're a-- oh, of course you are. Makai's playing little games here-- don't trust him, hm? I don't work with priests, usually. Where I'm from, society doesn't like you lot, but the enemy of my enemy is my friend. In this instance, Makai's an enemy given his behaviour-- this doesn't make a whole lotta sense to 'ya, does it?" He finally smirked, realising his inner-thoughts had become vocalised and babbled out verbally in mutters, which he rolled his eyes in ridicule of himself in return. "Sorry 'bout that and all-- can I come see him? I got some things to say, y'know? Then I'll take him back home, the trouble 'round here should stop then. He's at fault for the state of things, I'm guessing. Just a hunch, though."​
 
"You're his... boyfriend?" He confirmed, his face having gone red from the surprisingly firm handshake from the man in front of him. Awkwardly slipping said hand in his pocket once over, he peered out the open door warily. "He did say he'd experiment of he wasn't married to my sister, so... I mean, I really hope that you meeting up with him won't put my sister at risk. I swear - nevermind. Look, you have a phone, right? I can give you the address, but you can tell that I'm a bit busy. I mean, someone decided to bash down the church door. No one else is going to get the brains from the stainglass window, right? Well, Makai was going to, but he decided to prod me for inappropriate info, so I'm a bit peeved.

As he spoke, he began to try and dust the broken glass from the pews and search around for a broom, the whole situation only becoming more embarrassing. To have an admittedly handsome man come to his church to see just how much it was in shambles was probably the most shameful thing he had ever done, in his eyes.
 
"I was dating him, but admittedly it was quite awhile back. I suppose he ended things in his mind, and typical old me clung to him. He's quite a big deal back home, I guess I liked the fact he gave me attention-- pretty sad really, but hey ho, that's my fault-- let me help 'ya out, and we can head to see him afterwards? I do like being theatrical, and I'd love to wander in alongside you and see his reaction. Petty? Probably, but he's pissed a lot of people off back home, so I'm entitled to a little dramatics," admitted Azaiah as he decided that lending a hand would be worthwhile. He had already realised that his boyfriend (or ex) was here to mess around, and was hardly living a quiet, normal human life. The state of the church, combined with the obvious state outside it, was, Azaiah figured, Makai's doing. Getting to know the priest, who he knew was probably at the centre of Makai's torment, seemed a wise move. Azaiah wasn't a human sympathiser by any means, especially not with a man of the cloth... but he also knew messing around and bringing attention to themselves was idiotic. If any human discovered what they were, chaos would break out worldwide.

"So, he's married to your sister? Maybe he loves her. It's not like I've been around, you know. I haven't seen him in a year," he promised, in case the man thought a secret affair had been going on. Gently taking the broom to help sweep up, he eyed the stained glass windows with a faint scrunch of his nose in distaste. "Makai's not the loving type, by any means, but maybe he's changed. His father's not the most committing of people, you know, but Makai's not his father-- I'd bet he likes your sister, I'm sure."​
 
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"He better, and he better treat her right. So far, he's been pretty respectful to her, which is nice... Now, I'm a dedicated priest, but I know for sure that God will set everything right when we all pass. Karma is pretty important to me, I suppose, hm? I don't really like to talk about angry stuff like that. It's just... this whole situation is pretty awful, you know? I never thought I'd be forced to handle b-brains on the stain glass, you know?" He babbled quietly, while sweeping up the scattered mess quickly, his eyes locked ont he ground all the while to hide his flushed face.

"I'm really thankful for this - what did you say your name was again? Azaiah? I'm Father Ivan, though most people just call me Ivan outside of work. Now isn't the good time to be so casual with strangers, it seems. Who knows? Maybe you'll just r-randomly decide to shoot up a school or something. It seems everyone I was friends with either killed themselves, or decided to run off."
 
"I'm sure it'll settle down around here. I mean, it's terrible, don't get me wrong, but I'm sure there's a root cause that can be eliminated. I don't think people suddenly go mad in these numbers, it's a tad strange, ain't it? I can help out with finding out what's going on, I'll make it my personal mission," beamed the demon as he flashed his smile across, leaning on the broomstick and examining the blood near the doorway with greater interest. He knew just who was cause for the chaos, of course. It was far too big a coincidence that everything had gone crazy just when Makai had arrived, and Azaiah knew that the man wouldn't have settled domestically. It wasn't his style, after all - he couldn't cope with that; he needed to have some fun, however warped and reckless it was.

"Makai's sort of needed back home, so I'll be taking him with me for a week or two. His Dad's pissed off, y'know? He was pretty disrespectful to the guy, and I need Makai to come apologise just so things settle," continued Azaiah as he began to dust up the floors again. "His Dad's a pretty important guy, and he's stubborn, so he won't really let it go, I guess-- what's Makai said about his family? Nothing, I suppose, if he hasn't even mentioned me, and I thought I was special, psh..."​
 
"Only that he's not a big fan of it, and that he's somewhere hot enough to think this weather warrants a jacket and scarf," he replied with a snort, before wiping the sweat from his forehead. Clearly, someone must have stole the air conditioning, because it was disgustingly sticky in the church. He offered a halfhearted smile nonetheless, before wandering off to grab a trash can. His next move was the windows, something he prided himself on keeping it clean.

"I assume you won't be staying, then? That's... that's disappointing. I don't want you to have a poor opinion of this town! It's beautiful, I promise..."
 
"I imagine it's, like, breathtaking. Like I said, there's probably a root cause that needs uplifting and destroying, y'know? Shit like this doesn't occur naturally-- sorry, don't mean t' swear. Not exactly right in the house of God, is it?" Shrugged the demon with an apologetic smile, however forced. He didn't have any real moral compass in him to show respect to a religious man, but he knew that he needed to come across as a nice, respectful young man if he had any chance of getting close enough to Makai to bring him home. An easy option would be to simply reveal what he was and force Ivan to take him to his brother-in-law... but that would defeat the whole concept of bringing back Makai. He needed to be home to avoid humanity discovering what he was. If Azaiah revealed himself, it would ruin the purpose completely.

"Hey, you're a real neat guy. You can show me somewhere to get lunch first, can't 'ya? I'm starved. We do come from somewhere pretty far away, you know? it is very hot, he was truthful on that, but travelling here means I didn't get a bite to eat," he explained with a genuine grimace of hunger. "And I'd like to get to know you, you're pretty rad."​
 
"I'm not 'neat' or 'rad'. My sister has gone on in text of how boring I am, or how I should find a better career. This is what I'm passionate about, though, you know? I mean, Makai is passionate about photography, I'm passionate about my faith. I know it doesn't sound very hip or cool, but that's okay. I'm sure being a dentist doesn't sound very 'rad' either, but that's okay-- anyway, I-I'd be glad to treat you to some food, honestly. I'm sorry that we met some poor circumstances, and... hopefully you and Makai can make it up. I sure hope that Laura is okay with wherever you're going..." He babbled absently, his face now beetroot. "Um... I'll be done soon, I promise."
 
"I think you're pretty cool. I mean, jeez, what guy would be so kind to someone they just learnt had been dating their brother-in-law-- not that I knew he was married. And then I guess I haven't seen him in a year or two, so it isn't like I matter, particularly-- but hey, I appreciate the fact you ain't yelling at me to butt out of things and don't interfere. If you weren't, y'know, a priest and all, I'd ask for your number," he casually drawled as he abandoned his cleaning post once deciding lunch was more important, and flopped back down in one of the pews with his feet rested up on the one in front of him, his head leaned back and eyes now glued on the intricate designs on the ceiling.

"You are cute. Sure you can't even come on a date or two?" He continued as casually as before, his eyes flicking to stare over at him. He genuinely didn't see an issue with buttering Ivan up with a date, if he had the chance to. His aim was to get Makai back, but that would take considerable time and patience, and until then, flirting with Ivan seemed like a cool idea. He was cute, and it would no doubt interfere with Makai's plans, which was a bonus. "You're into guys, right? I mean, if you could date, you'd be with a guy. I can tell, I'm good at guessing that stuff."​
 
"I-I can't date, sorry. I'm sure a date would be nice, but I can't disrespect Him. So far, until recently, He's the only person who has been in my life." He explained quietly, despite the fact that he desperately wanted to die. After all, now two men were pestering about his sexuality, and one of them was admittedly gorgeous. Awkwardly coughing, he watched the other set his legs up before lightly smacking him with the broom.

"What is with you and Makai? Sex... Sex isn't everything, you know?"
 
"Not to be crass, but have you tried sex? It's pretty fucki-- damn good," he corrected after reluctantly placing down his legs. Granted, the correction he had made was from one cuss word to another, but he figured that the severity of the language lowered with his alternative choice. He had always sworn, with his mother having told him it was a way of expressing passion, and it did help him express himself when all other words failed. He wasn't all that intelligent; not dim, but not on Makai's level of intelligence anyway.

"I don't want to sound like a whore, and I ain't, let's get that right. I've had sex with a few guys, Makai being my most serious boyfriend, and hey, I'll hold my hands up. I like sex. It's really... nothing to be ashamed of, is it? I don't cheat; I'm not an adulterer. Ironically, I follow a few of those Commandment you Christians follow. I don't cheat, I honour my father and mother, I don't steal-- I'd be a great Christian, actually."​
 
"I don't... I don't judge you for that. I'm not a big fan, o-obviously. It's just- not only am I not allowed, and I'd probably get excommunicated if I did, but it's not going to happen anyway. I'm not attractive, and that's okay. All that matters is that God believes in me," he explained quietly, before wandering towards the front of the church, grimacing
 
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Jumping up from his slouched position, the demon rolled his eyes briefly at the other's devotion. On one hand, it was rather commendable that he ignore whatever desires he had to commit himself to God. On the other hand, though, it was infuriating. He already realised Makai probably had his own romantic intentions to bed the priest, as well as fucking with his head and his concept of reality, but that didn't mean Azaiah was going to sit back and let him. If he intervened and hindered his plan, and rendered it useless, then Makai had no desire to continue pursuing his ideas, right? At least, that was Azaiah's reckoning.

"Oh well, it was worth a shot. Shame, really. I thought you were handsome," he shrugged with a flash of his grin, cracking his knuckles as he wandered to his side. "God surely doesn't mind you experimenting a tad, does he? Not even a little kiss to test the waters?"​
 
"I told you, I can't do that!" He squeaked, his eyes locked on the chalice cabinet, pretending to dust it to keep faced away to hide his teary eyes. Did he have temptations? Of course. No one was, and a deep, deep part of him knew that. Of course, he instead blocked that fact with his faith while shining the chalice carefully.

"I d-don't need to kiss anyone, I'm perfectly happy being alone. My sister can go out and kiss all the guys I can't, hm? I think it's fair." He muttered, before scurrying to the back room in search for the garbage. "I'm okay!"
 
"I didn't mean to get you upset. I just think a kiss wouldn't send you to Hell, and if I did, I'm sure you'd be fine down there anyway. You seem like you'd deal with it alright, and hey, I'd protect you if you did somehow end up there. Not that you will, mind you. You're not a bad guy, you don't need punishing, so relax, would you? I've known you all of five minutes, and I can tell you're sweet. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, just... sorry?" Apologised the demon after a moment of babbling to try and avoid the eventual apology. He didn't do apologies, after all, and the thought of saying sorry to anyone was hellish, let alone to a priest, but he did genuinely feel a stab of guilt hit him at the sight of teary eyes.

"...Let's go out to lunch, huh? I'll come back and clean up with later, if 'ya want. least I could do for flirting so terribly with you. I'm not Makai. He's great at flirting, I'm just... shit at it, let's be honest. I can't be subtle. If I like you, I like you, I can't do the whole subtlety thing."​
 
"Listen, I would... I would love to be able to kiss someone and settle down, but that's not my job, and that's not what I practice. I would love to be able to go on dates, hold hands with someone, but it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make, you know? I mean, wouldn't you be willing to give up something for someone else? So, that's okay for me. Makai said I'll die alone with a ton of dogs, you know, and that's just... great." He admitted shyly, while fiddling with his fingers nervously to hide just how awkward the whole conversation was for him.
 
"Yeah? Well, Makai's a douchebag, I wouldn't take what he says seriously. He's probably trying to get you to break, so hey, don't give him the satisfaction," suggested the demon with a faint nudge, if only to try and get the human to relax around him. He wasn't exactly used to human life and interactions, hence why he assumed that they ought to have built up a friendship in the few minutes they had known one another. For Azaiah, it was usually that quick to befriend someone, so why would he think differently now?

"Fuck him, I don't want to talk about him-- the stories I could tell would probably make you hate him, and given he's your family, let's not get into that. Let's go get lunch already. I want to try local delicacies," he shrugged as he groaned, rolled his eyes unsubtly, and trudged back after the priest in mild annoyance. "Or are you gonna hang out in a blood-soaked, messed-up church? That doesn't seem like fun. Lunch with a super cool guy like me is fun~"​
 
" 'Super cool guy', eh? I don't know... No one else is going to help me, and I can't just let this place be stained with blood forever. Do you know how much it's going to cost to fix all of this? I don't have that much of a salary, and I know Laura and Makai won't pay," he murmured, before hissing from rather stupidly cutting his fingers on the shattered glass. Holding them tight, he awkwardly laughed.

"I'm sorry, really. This is an awful introduction to me, I guess. Just... Sure, I'll have some lunch, then I'll drive you to my house so you can talk with your... uh, friend. You two are just friends, right? Because that would be just awful for my sister. I'm not going to let some silly Californians make my sister cry," he warned sternly, before wandering into the back to properly wrap his fingers with the emergency kit. The amount of times the church nearly burned down because of a candle slip was crazy, so it wasn't much of a surprise.
 
"Like I said, a billion times already, I ain't seen Makai in, like, a year or two. How are we supposed to keep up a relationship? Besides, I said I didn't know he was married, and I told you he probably didn't care about me. If you thought I liked sex, Makai's worse than I am, but hey, you don't like all that lewd stuff, huh? Look, what have you done? I can smell blood," murmured the demon, having been far too preoccupied staring at the stained glass and silently mocking them in his head to notice the minor injury, though he followed behind the other once the smell inevitably hit him.

"You humans are a calamity, you know. You're so easily hurt," he mocked with a playful grin, taking his hand gently to lend some assistance. He wanted to think that he was opting to help as a way of earning trust and likeability, whereas his automatic reaction to help was just that: automatic, and without any ulterior motive behind it. "It's a pretty neat cut, though. Shame it wasn't deeper, it would have made a rad scar..."​
 
" 'Ypu humans'...? A-Anyway, it's fine, really. I'm glad it didn't cut deeper, I don't really want a scar, you know? It would be embarrassing. I just imagine Gloria from across the street, scolding me to no end because I'm so stupid..." he babbled, while flexing his palm to see just how fast the blood was pooling. With a smile towards the demon, he carefully rummaged his pocket for a handful of bandaids.
 
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