Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea

"I'm not mad, not at all." He reassured quietly. "No, I'm disappointed. I'm disappointed that I thought I had a stable and loving relationship, that of which was understood by both parties, when in reality I could be dropped pretty quick." As the priest spoke, he kept his eyes straight once again. He wasn't going to cry, it just wasn't something he really did anymore - or, at least tried not to. Hell, ever since he and Laura were younger, he let Laura be the one to cry, as he remained quiet.
 
"...You know I'm not happy with our situation. Don't pretend I've been perfectly content. I love you enough to go along with it, but am I happy? Not at all. Loving couples have sex, Ivan. You're already heading to Hell. Why not enjoy yourself while you're still alive and do what we both want to do. Don't tell me you haven't fucking thought about having sex with me. I refuse to believe you've not dreamt about it," he muttered quickly, refusing to be backed into the corner and be made out to be a bad guy just because he wasn't entirely happy with the relationship as it stood.

"...I was never going to drop you, Ivan, don't say that. I just-- look, maybe I should have told you how I felt before, hm? I'll take the blame for that, at least."
 
Slowly pulling over to the side of the road, Ivan stepped out of the truck and closed the door as quietly as possible, in hopes of keeping his sister asleep. Just because he was suffering didn't mean she had to, he knew that, so the priest instead decided to walk from the car. He would come back, of course, but if he wanted to really let out his frustrations, he wanted to be far enough to not be heard.
 
No matter how far he walked, Azaiah could arrive at his side in a split second. Usually, when they had little arguments, he would respect the other's space and leave him be, even if it meant letting him head out and walk around the streets for a few hours. He had made a private promise not to remind Ivan of what he was. He didn't use his real form anymore, he didn't mention Hell too much, and he definitely didn't teleport himself about the house - even if he sometimes had temptations to when he was too lazy to push himself off the couch.

In this instance, though, he broke the little rules he set himself by arriving directly at Ivan's side and clutching his wrist in his hand, yanking him to a stop. "...You can't fucking walk away from your problems, jeez. Talk to me, would you?"
 
"Do you want to know why I don't go hog-wild and just say 'fuck it'? Because this is all I have, Azaiah!" He snapped, while kicking a rock hard across the road. "This was all I had before you, before the mess with Laura and Makai.... The people here were the only reason I didn't kill myself when Laura moved out, and I felt like I had a purpose. I can't abandon this, or these people. They're why I'm still here, a-and... Azaiah, I don't know what I would do..."

With a groan, he flopped down in the grass besides the road before staring off at the empty field, before pulling his knees tight. "Don't you realize I would love to have sex with you? I think about it every fucking night. I just... I feel like, if I do that, a part of me will be gone."
 
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"And you don't think I've sacrificed things to be with you? Do you understand just how much I've given up, Ivan? You're a priest. I can't go home now, ever. If I do, I'll probably be killed. If I'm lucky, Makai's mother will take some pity and just shove me in the cells for the rest of my life. That's my reality now, but I... I'm happy with that because I have you. F-Fuck, whatever. No sex, then? So why are we together if we want different things? We're hardly going to be happy if we're going to disagree on something this major," he admitted, perching himself down beside him, though made no effort to sit too close. Instead, he held his knees to his chest and let his eyes fix on the night sky above.

"...Can we just go home and get to bed? I have a banging headache and I'd rather forget we had this conversation, because we'll just end up splitting up if we continue thinking about it, and then I'll literally have nobody."
 
"I don't want you to leave, Azaiah." He insisted, before glancing over to the other, a small smile growing. "I... I'll have sex with you if it means you'll stay. I would rather give up something this important, because I don't know what I would do without you. Besides, we're both in trouble, right? Like... Like you said, I'll try to enjoy myself."
 
"Do you realise how bad that sounds? You'll only have sex with me if I stay? I sound like I've forced you into making that decision, and it's... it's not the case. God, I've stayed with you a year while knowing sex was out of the question. I'll stay with you without it. I just-- if we end up splitting up one day, it'll be because of that, I imagine," he awkwardly babbled. He hated that he couldn't just smile and accept the other's offer. He had wanted to have sex with him for months, to take the final step in their relationship... but when he had the confirmation, finally, he was regretting it, because it just sounded so... forceful.

"I don't want to come across like a fucking asshole," the demon mumbled, resting his hands behind his head, "I just want to... you know, be a couple. I don't see why you can't have sex, but if you're nto comfortable, that's totally fine. I... was out of order, I suppose."
 
"I want to be a couple, too. I'm - I don't know if I'm ready to do anything like that tonight, but maybe soon? I just - I want to go home, make some tea, and just sleep. I want to cuddle with my boyfriend and pretend that all of this didn't happen." He insisted quietly, before pushing off the dirt reluctantly.
 
"Cuddling sounds... perfect, I won't lie. I'll probably sleep for days after tonight," he grinned, more than pleased that the animosity and tension had been left aside. It wasn't going to disappear, not immediately, but he was happy to park it away for another day... preferably when he had had days of sleep and a few beers in his system.

"Will your sister be alright?" He asked, approaching the car warily once hearing faint sobs coming from inside. He was proud of the girl for leaving Makai, even if he'd just met her that night, but he definitely pitied her. He had had to dump Makai and cut off all ties, and that was... incredibly hard to do. He couldn't imagine how difficult it was for someone who had been married to him, who planned to marry him again and had children with him, who she also then gave up. "...I'm not good at dealing with emotional people. I say the wrong stuff, Ivan."
 
"You don't need to remind me. Look, that's my job, okay? Just, don't say anything, and I'll make this better." The priest reassured lightly, before peaking into the back seat of the truck with a frown. Glancing back at Azaiah briefly, he directed his attention to his sister as he opened the backseat door.

"Laura, are you okay? Look, do you want to take a break and get some fresh air? Or, we could stop at the diner, get some proper junk food in 'ya?" He offered, while carefully stroking her hair down. "I hate seeing you this way. Hey, we can spend all tomorrow just doing some fun stuff, alright?"
 
Laura was miles away from the girl she had been an hour ago, when she opened the door to welcome her brother into her grand home. Her perfect hair was matted and messy; her makeup had run from her eyes, and the ridiculously expensive dress donned the rips and tears from her hurried, frantic escape. If anything, she at least looked more like herself. It wasn't really rare for her to come home from a nightclub in this sort of state, and it was probably more comforting than seeing her in the posh, designer setup.

"...I could polish off at least three hamburgers," she weakly laughed, pulling her wedding ring off and on as a distraction from thinking about Makai, because that was where most her thoughts went to. She hated him one second, feared him the next, and then felt her chest tighten in horror when she realised she had lost him, because above all else, the overshadowing emotion she felt was still love for the man. Regardless of the monstrous behaviour he had shown, he was still the only man she had really ever loved. She'd had plenty of boyfriends, a good dozen lovers... but she had only ever loved Makai.

"You know, he wouldn't let me eat junk food when I was pregnant. He made all these healthy meals for me, but fuck, I felt like a rabbit, just chewing fucking salad," she grumbled, quietly observing Azaiah who had leaned against the nearby tree with a cigarette loosely hanging from his lips. "...He's real cute, Ivan. Fuck, he's gorgeous, really. You've done well for yourself~"
 
"Yeah, he is, ain't he?" He whispered, while watching Azaiah. "Look, we can get all the burgers you want. I'd suggest we get home and you get fixed up a tad. No offense, Laura, but pink lipstick isn't your color. Now, I may not have any of your clothes, but we're the same size, right? Just wear something normal and we can head out." He cooed, before stepping back a tad.

"I'll tell you about Azaiah, if you want me to. He's... I mean, he's amazing, Laura. There's something pretty bad about a priest falling love with a demon, huh? Makai insists I'll have a nice little place in Hell for it."
 
"Yes, well, Makai says a lot of shit. I'm sure you'll end up somewhere nice. You're the most dedicated priest I know. So what if you're dating a demon? Azaiah isn't a bad one. I'm sure your God will take that into account when you reach the pearly gates," she admitted and, despite her grumpy tone, she did reach for his hand to make sure he realised she was attempting to be supportive. They couldn't be further apart in their beliefs, but, despite what he may think, Laura had matured over the year.

"What's wrong with what I'm wearing? It's not totally my style, but it ain't that bad," she mumbled, taking a look down at herself. "I don't think we're the same size, Ivan. I've just had twins, not even a month ago. Shit... I haven't even got any clothes. I haven't got anything. I'm not going back to that house, though. No way."
 
"Then we can pick up some stuff at the thrift shop, some simple clothes for the weather." He reassured, before offering a thumbs up to Azaiah and wandering back to the front seat. "Hey, I don't know how long you plan to stay here, and I know our situation isn't as glorious as living in California somewhere, lounging out on the beach. There ain't nothing wrong lounging on the lawn, and we could drive out to Charleston as a road trip. It's like when you were younger, right?"
 
"...I'd rather be here than in California, trust me, but maybe we could go for a nice drive one of these days? A road trip, like you said. That'd be nice," she admitted whilst rubbing the remainder of her tears off her face. She didn't mind her brother seeing her look like shit -he had raised her through her clubbing days, and she knew she looked a lot worse back then- but she didn't really want Azaiah to look back at her teary expression. He was nice, and she trusted him if Ivan did, but he was still a stranger to her.

"Why can't I stay with you for a year or two? I have nothing, Ivan. I haven't got money, or anything to my name. I... I have, like, forty dollars."
 
"Well, I can't give you any money, I'm strapped enough, but I know that there's a few restaurants that are looking for a waiter. The town still hasn't fully fully recovered since the, uh... accidents, from a year ago, so businesses are still looking for workers. You can start there, and maybe you'll be able to get an apartment. " He insisted, while shooting a small smile to Azaiah as he climbed into the seat besides him.
 
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"A waitress, really? I... whatever, I don't exactly have a choice, I guess," she shrugged, though had pursed her lips in discontent. What hit her most was just how gravely she regretted her decision to stay behind. If she had asked, Makai would surely have stayed with her in their new home, with their children, and told his mother she should just leave. Instead, she broke his heart and disowned her own children. To say she regretted it now was an understatement. All she really wanted was to run back, hope Makai was still there and just go somewhere with him; anywhere.

"I fucked up, y-y'know? I want to be with Makai, Ivan," she mumbled weakly from the back of the car. "He hates me now, huh?"
 
"... Laura, this is the problem with you. You're so inconsistent and volatile in what you want with your life. Do you want to be with him or not? I'm not going to be stuck in the rollercoaster you call your relationship, okay? You know I love you, and that I care for you, but it gets exhausting." He explained, his words blunt as they began to drive once again. It was hard to keep up the small smile he held, once hearing his sister whine.

"Let's not talk about Makai for now, okay? Clearly you've had a rough day, and we all need some sleep. I'm going to head to the church tomorrow morning and prep for Mass, and you're totally welcome to come..."
 
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Azaiah did debate intervening, getting the two to simmer down and wisely point out that everyone had been through enough; that some good greasy fast food would do them the world of good before they went home. Of course, he chose not to interfere. He hadn't known Laura long, and he was wise enough not to get involved between her and her brother, even if he was Ivan's boyfriend and had a right to speak up if he wanted to, especially if it was to calm things.

As it went, it was probably for the best that he kept quiet, because Laura wasn't in the frame of mind to accept the advice. Frankly, she would have snapped at him to keep his nose out of her business, however much she liked him. Instead, she petulantly jutted out her bottom lip and glared out the window. The scene was reminiscent of their teenage days when Ivan had driven to pick her up after she'd called him, passed out drunk in the park or outside a grotty club, before being subjected to her older brother's rants and worried speeches. Hell, she probably looked as bad right now as she had during her drunken teenage days.

"I ain't fucking going to church with y'all. I don't want to be the gossip of the town. It's a small place, Ivan, you know how quick gossip travels-- everybody knows everyone. They'll just talk about me and how I'm a major fuck-up, that I should just stayed here," she grimaced, twiddling her thumbs. Her excuse for not going to church with her brother in the past would have been insulting and condescending. Now, her only worry was what people had said - she might still be refusing, but it was far from a strong refusal. All she needed was some reassurance that nobody would gossip, and she would agree. Hell, she didn't even need that, having confirmed to herself that she was being paranoid.

"I'll come," she finally agreed with a nod. "I mean... it'll be nice to do something, get back involved in the community and stuff... Hey, does Brad go to church? Y'know, Mrs. Robinson's kid. I dated him when I was, like, 15. I'd like to see him again, he was real handsome back in high school..."
 
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