Personality
Tormented by mistakes of the past she's assumed as her fault, Rayda has grown melancholic and overly anxious with time. Deeming herself dangerous, Rayda avoids approaching people too much, looking at them as if they were made of glass and capable of breaking with a touch. Similarly, she's extremely jumpy when approached by others, always trying to keep a certain distance from them, or at last, measuring her every move very
carefully. The girl is quick to apologize and take the blame for things, even if the concerned party has already said it's fine. It's never truly fine, it's just flattery.
Rayda can't tell why she's still alive or what the point of it even is. She's just resigned to living after being unable of following up with multiple attempts to end it. If anything, Rayda takes her life as a punishment, atoning for the terrible things she has done, which makes her a very helpful person.
Too helpful, constantly putting herself in deadly situations, secretly hoping to die. The smallest mistake, anything that may cause her to flashback and remember her current 'condition' brings about intense self-deprecation, melancholy and suicidal wishes. Though she'll attempt to hide these from sight, when by herself, Rayda has a propensity to give in to self-harm as a way to alleviate her crushing guilt and regrets.
Horrified at what people might think of her if she were to let her struggle and broken psyche come to light, Rayda puts a cheerful facade in public, reminiscent of the old her, a gentle, innocent, helpful and generous young woman, upbeat like a ray of sunshine. An act that leaves her heartbroken at every new occurrence, yet that she just can't muster to drop. Any attempts to help her or direct approaches to the subject get ignored and shut down instantly if they're noticed. This is her hell to pay, hers and
no one else's. Rayda is determined to pull through it on her own.
Motivation
Something that can grant immortality probably can also take it away, right? Rayda just wants to die, but she isn't strong enough to accomplish it herself... So if at least it could take her regeneration away... Then, some other situation could be the final blow. Or maybe she'll die during the journey and finally be allowed to sacrifice herself and end her endless atonement. That'd be good too.
Backstory
From a little countryside town of supernatural hunters, kept much like an isolated village somewhere in Lousiana, Rayda lived with her older brother. The pair had been rendered orphans at a young age when their dad didn't return from a hunt and, a couple of years later, their mom had thrown herself in front of the two to shield them from the attack of a creature that had breached the town's security. Growing up in these circumstances, the two siblings were adopted by the townsfolk. The brother, harnessing a strong distaste for the supernatural, cast aside the rest of his childhood insisting on and on and eventually succeeded to become one of the youngest members of the hunters ever.
Meanwhile, Rayda, being too young to understand much at the time of the happenings and not allowed contact with any 'hunter exclusive knowledge' by being female, just had one wish: to be just like her big brother! In her bright, innocent and naive eyes he was an example to be followed: dedicated, hardworking, kind; always the coolest, the bravest, the fairest, the most generous; incapable of doing anything wrong and good at everything. She truly idolized him, even going as far to bend the rules a bit by making herself bows and arrows from leftover materials from the woods and practising with it in secret from everyone else.
Instead of playing pretend like the other kids, she'd practice all day hoping to one day be so awesome at archery that the others would
have to let her join the hunters too! Once her favorite place behind the barn had been found out, stubborn little Rayda had started dodging the townsfolk to escape deep within the forest, completely out of sight, to practice. Peaceful as it may be, the girl had failed to consider how dangerous straying away from the village could be, which didn't take too long for her to get to experience beforehand.
The morning had started like any other. Rayda bid her brother goodbye as he left on to join the other hunters in patrol, ate her breakfast, picked a basket filled with pre-made sandwiches, her handmade bow and quill filled with arrows made from sticks and pointy rocks and off she went to practice, making sure not to be seen or followed. To be honest, the only thing out of normal had been the fact that she had been able to hit the makeshift target not just once, but
twice! Filled with pride and extremely fired-up at the prospect of getting better at it, the girl had practised even harder, merely taking a break to eat and going back at it as soon as she was done. She had been so focused at the task that Rayda had not noticed when the sun started setting behind her.
Suddenly it was late,
too late to be wandering in the woods all alone...
Running on her way back had proven unsuccessful as night had caught up to her mid-way.
...It all happened too fast.
The forest had fallen into an untypical silence, a growl and a pair of vicious yellow eyes peeking from the bushes. When Rayda was able to process what had just occurred, she could see an enormous, odd black wolf, illuminated by the moonlight, had her pinned to the ground, her quill had been knocked aside, scattering arrows on the grass. Terrified, the girl just laid there frozen as beastly eyes watched her attentively as if assessing her reactions, it lowered its head, slowly, saliva dripping from its sharp teeth and into her dress. At this point, Rayda was praying to both angels and demons for salvation and apologising for anything she had ever done, convinced that it was the end, but when the animal's teeth sank on her shoulder adrenaline and self-preservation spoke louder. Reaching for an arrow on the floor, the girl jabbed it into the beast's eye without thinking twice, making a run for it once the creature let go, a howl of pain echoing almost instantly.
Rayda did not look back, assuming that the wolf was also giving chase once she could hear the sound of rustling grass and stomping behind her. Zig-zagging in-between the trees, Rayda had run like never before, only focused on getting to her village alive. Oh, heavens! If she survived she'd never ever
ever leave her town again!! NEVER!! And then there was a hole right in front of a trees' roots. Instead of climbing over those, Rayda found herself sliding down an opening, falling face-first into a mound of dirt. The creature had even scurried inside with its big paws, trying to make the entrance wider, but failed to do so as its claws barely chipped away at the rocky underground wall, giving up after a while. The girl had taken a couple of breaths, finally feeling calmer and safer, before she felt her vision blur and passed out due to blood loss.
She had awakened back at the town and would have believed it all to be a dream if it wasn't for a very worried, yet angry, brother waiting beside the bed. Apparently, he had started a rescue party to search for her once he noticed she was missing and the dogs had found her unconscious in a cold, damp, cavernous hole, dirty, with cuts, bruises and a ragged, bloodstained dress. Maybe it had been the avalanche of lectures that had followed, or the adults acting as if they knew more than her again, or a rebellious streak at the fact that she was grounded until "she learned to be responsible", or even something else, an unconscious fear she wasn't completely aware of, but Rayda had not shared the details of her adventure or made any mentions of her past night encounter. If anyone had been suspicious, they hadn't said a thing and had been just as guilty as her.
She really didn't know any better, she
couldn't have known-
A month later Rayda would transform for the first time, making a festive occasion into a massacre, the town who had been ready to defend from an outside attack, utterly powerless and taken by surprise when the enemy came from inside instead. The girl would wake up deeper in the woods, a couple of feet away from the town, a chunk of time between sunset and now seemingly lost, not to mention unusually fatigued after a supposed night of sleep. In her still rather drowsy state, Rayda made her way back, appalled at the sheer destruction and gore of the whole thing. not even the kids had been spared and that which was once a celebratory bonfire seemed to have escaped its boundaries and consumed some houses. Carefully stepping through the rubble of wood, broken glass and god knows what else, the girl eventually found her brother, also the rest of the hunter's party. Apparently, they had come back from their 3-day incursion a bit earlier and Liam had driven their attacker away, though not without harm.
For the next days, Rayda had watched as the remaining townspeople (mostly those that had been away on other duties) started the cleanup after a first day filled with mourning. Rayda herself even helped a bit before her odd lack of energy caught up to her again and she felt forced to stay in her bed. From both her brother and overhearing conversations, she came to learn what a werewolf was and whatever little information they had gathered about them on the hunter's tome. Rayda's mind had travelled back to her night on the woods and the enormous black wolf that had almost killed her, however bits of sounds and images, like lost, scattered memories kept popping here and there, panicked, horrified screams, animal sound and- terrible, terrible things, always from a point of view that could not be hers... could it? The more time passed, the more doubts pilled up on her, with the girl ultimately deciding that if there was any possibility that she had been the perpetrator of the incident, that her village and more importantly, her brother would be better without her.
In a solitary, extreme plan of action, Rayda left her home behind, talking no more than a few changes of clothes and a rustic necklace, with a blue stone carved in a drop shape that had once been her mom's. Living by herself in the forest was difficult at first, yet always the crafty one, Rayda had grown to use the natural materials at her disposal to craft traps, weapons and the like. As the memory gap and broken bits of records kept occurring, Rayda became more and more aware of how dangerous she could possibly be, moving ever so frequent that no one could locate her and that in case the beast, or whatever it emerged she would not cause problems to nearby cities. At least she had tried it, yet the creature had managed to find its way into civilization one or another time, forcing her to move quite abruptly. The dead count kept raising and with the ever-haunting presence of the curse, Rayda's tomboyish, courageous personality withered into anxiety and fear as she came to learn more about her new state. She's tried to end it too, so so many times, but to no avail...
Aldenburg was at the start meant to be just one more stop, a temporary visit, but Rayda came to fall in love with the place and its people, that had taken her in oh so warmly, becoming attached to it enough that she made everything in her power to get to stay. The cottage where she lives? Afforded with a mix of money acquired from poor souls that had fallen victim to the beast and a small loan that the girl is yet to pay. With the constant help of neighbours and kind townspeople, Rayda has come this far, no longer a starving, wandering child in the woods, but the owner of her own small, if not satisfactory and pleasant business.
She could almost,
almost forget how much of her presence is a danger to these people and enjoy herself, almost; Though the cruel full moon would never allow such a thing, coming back month after month, always a looming reminder of sins past and new possible mistakes future, keeping the poor girl always on edge.