An intruder barges into your room! Your weapon is the object to your left...

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A hammer. not too bad.
 
A top hat. I guess I'll just beat them through style.
 
Earbud headphones.
Well.

I can choke them. I think.
 
That would be a Bible. Or a chair, depending on how you render 'to your left' exactly. The chair would do significantly more damage, but is far less easy to wield than the big book. So in the heat of the moment, I'll probably go for speed over damage totals.
 
I'm packing a router. I guess I'll slap him around with it a little.
 
Blind Hemingway said:
Let's see...Billy club, cutlass, schimatar, gladius, machete, Mauser bayonet, Arabic knife...They are all on my left.
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Wait... wut? How do... Is it even legal to possess so many weapons? O_o
 
An empty ice cream bowl, along with used spoon. Let's get scooping. >:] Also, mouth germs.
 
It is now... My great-aunts purse!
Be clubbed! *swing*
 
A miniature mirror. Smack them over the head?
 
A painting of Bear Lake in a solid steel frame - it's about as long as I am tall. If I can lift it I think I'll be good :3
 
Headband. I guess I'll kill them with fashion.
 
Oh pathetic... I have an empty phone case. .. but it is a metal one that you have to screw on....
Yeah, still lame.
 
... a blow of honey bunches of oats..fuck
 
My phone. I'm... going for the books on the shelf above me, as they are also to my immediate, slight left.
 
Then somebody is about to get a face full of glass and bong water.
Either that or my expensive PC.
 
To my left is my left hand. Come on intruder, let me introduce you to my main man edgar
 
A Fork to which I stab into a well done piece of stake and after I've consumed this fine piece of meat, because there is so much time, I fling the fork at this intruder. How dare they barge into my room without bringing me something to drink, bastard.
 
A pair of scissors.

Stabby stabby. >:)
 
It is now... a god damn pillow.... damn.. fuck it PILLOW FIGHT!
 
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